Driving home at 3am after a crushing session at Foxwoods, I decided to try and keep myself awake by watching Netflix while I drove. I looked down to dial up a show and crossed into the other lane by a fraction of a tire width. There wasn't another car within a mile of me, so no harm no foul right?

Wrong.

Bored cop decided to see what was up. I pulled over, and he immediately smelled weed cuz that's what I do on long drives. He said "are there drugs in the car". I didn't say anything, but I just slightly moved my head from one side to another, like a fraction of a millimeter. He says "Cmon...I'll ask you again....are there drugs in the car?"

I confessed to smoking weed and he asked "why did you lie?"

I said "What can I say? I took a shot"

He gets instantly riled up "Took a shot of what????!!!!!"

"whoa whoa whoa, I just meant I took a shot at saying there was no weed"

All I had in the car was a dried up half gram wrapped in a slip of paper. I showed it to him. He made me toss it into the wind. He asked me where I was coming from. Etc etc etc. Then he holds up a pen, and makes me follow it with my eyes from side to side.

That was the extent of the sobriety test. He didn't even make me get out of the car.

Then he asked me what I was smoking out of. I had a pipe. He wanted to see it. I showed it to him. It was actually packed full cuz I was gonna blaze once I got Bob's Burgers playing on my phone. He says "Is there still shit in there?" (he called it "shit", lol)

So I dumped that out too. And then he wrote me a $100 fine for "failing to signal a lane change"

I drove away thinking "FFFFFUUUUUUCCKKK YEAH WHITE PRIVILEGE!!""