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spoonitnow
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08-25-2009, 09:49 PM
Post subject: Giving Hookers Orgasms
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#1 (permalink)
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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I have some amazing wordplay for you at the end of this post, but it will be sooo much better if you read the whole thing.
So speaking of giving hookers orgasms, why would you ever do it? That's not a rhetorical question. I imagine if I ever had to pay for sex that I would be tempted to do it, so the big question is why? Keep this in mind while you read the following.
So in 6-max we raise in EP with AKs and a 12/8 with a 1.2% 3-bet over 2500 hands 3-bets us from the button. Your notes show that he has 3-bet AA, KK and QQ and has always 5-bet against a 4-bet, never calling or folding. You have this little voice (feelings, logic, which ever it is for you) that says "I should fold." But you have pocket Ace and King! Suited! So you 4-bet just because, he shoves, and you realize once again that you're against QQ+, but pot odds say you have to call now. After the hand you reload, say to yourself "MY AK NEVER WINS ALL-INS PREFLOP JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" Then later when you're blogging about how you're break even for the day you can't help but think to yourself, "Well if I wouldn't have ran my AK into [AA/KK/QQ] and lost then I would be up a BI instead." Now you're talking yourself into illusions about your results, and spiral on into the land of denial.
Then when you get that next hooker, you're going to try to make her have an orgasm again. And why do you do that? The answer starts with a "P" and ends with a "ride". Bam.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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nish81
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Flush
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 295
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Ohsnap
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<JustinSKS> Tha'ts why I fold my 33 to 72o, because 7 high beats, 1 pair, donk.
JR: lets do it JUAN
JR: mono e mono
JR: man to man
JR: HU4ROLLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Dealer: juan0984 folds
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bikes
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a hot damn mess
Administrator
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,448
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what the fuck
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I damage threads that may actually benefit some posters
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Haha. Had this exact same situation come up today. And of course, he had AA. It was only 3bet AI from a shorty so I decided to gamble even though I knew he had QQ+. 
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Micro2Macro
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Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: http://three-pair.com/
Posts: 4,463
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Well said.
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"Once we reach a certain level of mastery, we see there are higher levels and challenges. If we are disciplined and patient, we proceed. At each higher level, new pleasures and insights await us--ones not even suspected when we started out. We can take this as far as we want--in any human activity there is always a higher level to which we can aspire."
Check out my blog here!
"You are a degenerate Gaam-balur"
http://www.philgalfond.com/lets-make-some-changes/
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BooG690
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,439
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Love this.
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That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
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clvacva
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Straight
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 200
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I will admit that I have done this hoping they have QQ/JJ. They do but I NEVER HIT!!
nice post 
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Terrible terrible post. I do it because I don't want to think.
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Lucothefish
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Cretaceous Park
Posts: 701
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[x] good point about AK
[ ] good analogy
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<@d0zer> how will you learn if I don't berate you harshly?
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Lucothefish
[x] good point about AK
[ ] good analogy
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It's likely you don't really get the analogy if this is all you have to say about it.
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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Lucothefish
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Full House
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Cretaceous Park
Posts: 701
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Very true. In fact this is the first time I've seen 'hookers' and 'pride' used together.
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<@d0zer> how will you learn if I don't berate you harshly?
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Monty3038
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Full House
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 788
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At least the hooker fakes her orgasm.
If you pay them enough.
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BennyLaRue
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 646
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Is the answer Physicist and Former Astronaut Sally Ride?
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BennyLaRue
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 646
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Or maybe "portly bride"? Is that why we're seeing a hooker?
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Monty3038
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08-26-2009, 07:28 PM
Post subject: Re: Giving Hookers Orgasms
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#15 (permalink)
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Full House
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 788
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by spoonitnow
I have some amazing wordplay for you at the end of this post, but it will be sooo much better if you read the whole thing.
So speaking of giving hookers orgasms, why would you ever do it? That's not a rhetorical question. I imagine if I ever had to pay for sex that I would be tempted to do it, so the big question is why? Keep this in mind while you read the following.
So in 6-max we raise in EP with AKs and a 12/8 with a 1.2% 3-bet over 2500 hands 3-bets us from the button. Your notes show that he has 3-bet AA, KK and QQ and has always 5-bet against a 4-bet, never calling or folding. You have this little voice (feelings, logic, which ever it is for you) that says "I should fold." But you have pocket Ace and King! Suited! So you 4-bet just because, he shoves, and you realize once again that you're against QQ+, but pot odds say you have to call now. After the hand you reload, say to yourself "MY AK NEVER WINS ALL-INS PREFLOP JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" Then later when you're blogging about how you're break even for the day you can't help but think to yourself, "Well if I wouldn't have ran my AK into [AA/KK/QQ] and lost then I would be up a BI instead." Now you're talking yourself into illusions about your results, and spiral on into the land of denial.
Then when you get that next hooker, you're going to try to make her have an orgasm again. And why do you do that? The answer starts with a "P" and ends with a "ride". Bam.
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While I made a flippant comment about this post a couple of posts back, I have reread this and do really think Spoon has a great point, yet it is also a hard one to come up face to face with and conquer. I suffer from this in both my poker playing (back months ago when I was serious) as well as in my Golf career (my current focus). It is difficult to realize you aren't nearly as good as you think you are, and that you're not going to pull it out every time... that you have to play the smart plays to win.
Thanks spoon again for using an analogy to help us players who are still developing the basic skills keep something in our heads... I've still got my nose to the mirror and will work to remember hookers don't have orgasms. Stats are meaningful... use them 
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Gobbatino
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Flush
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 341
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I'd missed this post. I like what you did.
Ego/pride has no place in poker. Drop yours at the door on the way in.
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revolvingiris
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Full House
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,139
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I ask for refunds if they don't fake it at least once.
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abysil
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Two Pair
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 48
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do it up
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Celticsman
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 19
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Hey Hookers get paid but, nothing wrong having fun on the job. Pride is Job one!
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Play Smart. Change Stratagies. Play the Streaks. Quit while you are ahead.
See Donk bet
See Donk raise
See Donk get lucky on the river and bust your AA with a 27 off suit
See Donk get shot in a live poker room
Dont be a DONK!
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BooG690
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,439
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Request to FTR: Give us regs of the forum power to put freetrollers under civilian arrest. Seeing such a good analogy gone bad annoys me.
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That's how winners play; we convince the other guy he's making all the right moves.
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Squishy_Fish
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Winston-Salem, NC
Posts: 18
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Don't stick your big slick into tight hookers.?
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StillDeadMoney
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: The Crazy Russian
Posts: 19
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You can call an all-in with AKs. It's a great hand, maybe 4th best overall.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigred
So i was gone for the weekend but wow...you lynch sdm, you don't shoot ragnar orrrr stax. dumbest fucking village. i hope we lost cause we deserve it. dumb fucks. im also drunk and high but srsly fuck u
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Quote:
Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla
No fears, people fuck up in this game all the time. Just make sure you deflect your failures by reminding people that SDM is somehow worse.
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Sasquach991
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Full House
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Rat Cheer
Posts: 1,012
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Bump
Relevant as of late. This is where spoon has a gift of teaching. If he had posted some thread about folding then I wouldn't have remembered it. But how can you forget this?
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"Just cause I'm from the South don't mean I ain't got no book learnin'"
Quote:
Originally Posted by a500lbgorilla
...we've all learned long ago how to share the truth without actually having the truth.
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spoonitnow
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Straight Flush
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: IRC Chat Room
Posts: 5,406
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bout tree fiddy
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Ripptyde
I only have 2 simple rules when I am coaching a new student.
Rule # 1: don't ask questions
Rule # 2: don't ask questions
I have no interest in discussing strategy with a protege'. Your job is to remain quiet and listen. I have a very systematic approach that I will share with the right candidate and I promise that I will turn you into a force of nature and show you elements of the game of poker that you never knew existed.
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surviva316
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Confusing people with my liberal biblicisms
Posts: 1,625
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a year and a half later and i still don't get this /me facepalms
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BooG690
I just wanted to share singing vaginas.  |
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manfredi
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3-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 58
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Quote:
Originally Posted by surviva316
a year and a half later and i still don't get this /me facepalms
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When you give a hooker an orgasm, you're paying her to get the best of you. Why would you want to take a perfectly profitable situation and fuck it up so badly that she gets the money and the orgasm? Do you like to get screwed?
Spoon is saying that he prefers to be the hooker who gets the money and the orgasm. When he finds a John, he takes care to arrange the situation to his sole benefit.
There is a related thread around here somewhere, titled 69 in Position - Neutral EV?, in which a chopped pot analogy is drawn from a sexual arrangement requiring that both parties put chips in the pot (if you know what I mean) and neither has an orgasm.
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surviva316
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4-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Confusing people with my liberal biblicisms
Posts: 1,625
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Quote:
Originally Posted by manfredi
When you give a hooker an orgasm, you're paying her to get the best of you. Why would you want to take a perfectly profitable situation and fuck it up so badly that she gets the money and the orgasm? Do you like to get screwed?
Spoon is saying that he prefers to be the hooker who gets the money and the orgasm. When he finds a John, he takes care to arrange the situation to his sole benefit.
There is a related thread around here somewhere, titled 69 in Position - Neutral EV?, in which a chopped pot analogy is drawn from a sexual arrangement requiring that both parties put chips in the pot (if you know what I mean) and neither has an orgasm.
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well that's well put and all, but i still don't get the word play
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BooG690
I just wanted to share singing vaginas. |
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OngBonga
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Full House
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: England
Posts: 1,053
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I'd give a hooker an orgasm for sure, not through pride but because I'd give her head.
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OngBonga
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Full House
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: England
Posts: 1,053
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Oh, and nice post all that time ago.
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deadstraddl3
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One Pair
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
I'd give a hooker an orgasm for sure, not through pride but because I'd give her head.
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that seems like such a bad idea...
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kfaess
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Flush
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 556
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Cool thread, missed this the first time around.
Quote:
Originally Posted by surviva316
well that's well put and all, but i still don't get the word play
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IMO, the point spoon is trying to make is that even though you know its completely illogical to want to give a hooker an orgasm you're still tempted to try. In the same vein, even though you know its completely illogical to shove AK into a range of QQ+, you're still tempted to do it.
aka lose the pride and use your judgment
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StarGrinder
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Full House
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: UTG (aka USA)
Posts: 683
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OngBonga
I'd give a hooker an orgasm for sure, not through pride but because I'd give her head.
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At the risk of turning this in to a commune thread, why would you pay some hooker to eat her stank ass box?
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OngBonga
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Full House
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: England
Posts: 1,053
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StarGrinder
At the risk of turning this in to a commune thread, why would you pay some hooker to eat her stank ass box?
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Dunno, fun maybe? I like giving head. I'd make her shower first. I'd also demand to snort cocaine off her tits, before I spunk all over them. Fuck's sake, if I'm paying, I'll have it exactly how I fucking want. She'll give me a foot wank too dammit.
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unclesteve
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3-of-a-Kind
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 104
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kfaess
Cool thread, missed this the first time around.
IMO, the point spoon is trying to make is that even though you know its completely illogical to want to give a hooker an orgasm you're still tempted to try. In the same vein, even though you know its completely illogical to shove AK into a range of QQ+, you're still tempted to do it.
aka lose the pride and use your judgment
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yep, he nailed it.
c wat i did there?
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