Giving Hookers Orgasms

I have some amazing wordplay for you at the end of this post, but it will be sooo much better if you read the whole thing.

So speaking of giving hookers orgasms, why would you ever do it? That's not a rhetorical question. I imagine if I ever had to pay for sex that I would be tempted to do it, so the big question is why? Keep this in mind while you read the following.

So in 6-max we raise in EP with AKs and a 12/8 with a 1.2% 3-bet over 2500 hands 3-bets us from the button. Your notes show that he has 3-bet AA, KK and QQ and has always 5-bet against a 4-bet, never calling or folding. You have this little voice (feelings, logic, which ever it is for you) that says "I should fold." But you have pocket Ace and King! Suited! So you 4-bet just because, he shoves, and you realize once again that you're against QQ+, but pot odds say you have to call now. After the hand you reload, say to yourself "MY AK NEVER WINS ALL-INS PREFLOP JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" Then later when you're blogging about how you're break even for the day you can't help but think to yourself, "Well if I wouldn't have ran my AK into [AA/KK/QQ] and lost then I would be up a BI instead." Now you're talking yourself into illusions about your results, and spiral on into the land of denial.

Then when you get that next hooker, you're going to try to make her have an orgasm again. And why do you do that? The answer starts with a "P" and ends with a "ride". Bam.

what the fuck

Haha. Had this exact same situation come up today. And of course, he had AA. It was only 3bet AI from a shorty so I decided to gamble even though I knew he had QQ+.

Well said.

Love this.

I will admit that I have done this hoping they have QQ/JJ. They do but I NEVER HIT!!


nice post

Terrible terrible post. I do it because I don't want to think.

[x] good point about AK
[ ] good analogy

Originally Posted by Lucothefish

[x] good point about AK
[ ] good analogy

It's likely you don't really get the analogy if this is all you have to say about it.

Very true. In fact this is the first time I've seen 'hookers' and 'pride' used together.

At least the hooker fakes her orgasm.
If you pay them enough.

Is the answer Physicist and Former Astronaut Sally Ride?

Or maybe "portly bride"? Is that why we're seeing a hooker?

Originally Posted by spoonitnow

I have some amazing wordplay for you at the end of this post, but it will be sooo much better if you read the whole thing.

So speaking of giving hookers orgasms, why would you ever do it? That's not a rhetorical question. I imagine if I ever had to pay for sex that I would be tempted to do it, so the big question is why? Keep this in mind while you read the following.

So in 6-max we raise in EP with AKs and a 12/8 with a 1.2% 3-bet over 2500 hands 3-bets us from the button. Your notes show that he has 3-bet AA, KK and QQ and has always 5-bet against a 4-bet, never calling or folding. You have this little voice (feelings, logic, which ever it is for you) that says "I should fold." But you have pocket Ace and King! Suited! So you 4-bet just because, he shoves, and you realize once again that you're against QQ+, but pot odds say you have to call now. After the hand you reload, say to yourself "MY AK NEVER WINS ALL-INS PREFLOP JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" Then later when you're blogging about how you're break even for the day you can't help but think to yourself, "Well if I wouldn't have ran my AK into [AA/KK/QQ] and lost then I would be up a BI instead." Now you're talking yourself into illusions about your results, and spiral on into the land of denial.

Then when you get that next hooker, you're going to try to make her have an orgasm again. And why do you do that? The answer starts with a "P" and ends with a "ride". Bam.

While I made a flippant comment about this post a couple of posts back, I have reread this and do really think Spoon has a great point, yet it is also a hard one to come up face to face with and conquer. I suffer from this in both my poker playing (back months ago when I was serious) as well as in my Golf career (my current focus). It is difficult to realize you aren't nearly as good as you think you are, and that you're not going to pull it out every time... that you have to play the smart plays to win.

Thanks spoon again for using an analogy to help us players who are still developing the basic skills keep something in our heads... I've still got my nose to the mirror and will work to remember hookers don't have orgasms. Stats are meaningful... use them

I'd missed this post. I like what you did.

Ego/pride has no place in poker. Drop yours at the door on the way in.

I ask for refunds if they don't fake it at least once.

do it up

Hey Hookers get paid but, nothing wrong having fun on the job. Pride is Job one!

Request to FTR: Give us regs of the forum power to put freetrollers under civilian arrest. Seeing such a good analogy gone bad annoys me.

Don't stick your big slick into tight hookers.?

You can call an all-in with AKs. It's a great hand, maybe 4th best overall.

Bump

Relevant as of late. This is where spoon has a gift of teaching. If he had posted some thread about folding then I wouldn't have remembered it. But how can you forget this?

bout tree fiddy

a year and a half later and i still don't get this /me facepalms

Originally Posted by surviva316

a year and a half later and i still don't get this /me facepalms

When you give a hooker an orgasm, you're paying her to get the best of you. Why would you want to take a perfectly profitable situation and fuck it up so badly that she gets the money and the orgasm? Do you like to get screwed?

Spoon is saying that he prefers to be the hooker who gets the money and the orgasm. When he finds a John, he takes care to arrange the situation to his sole benefit.

There is a related thread around here somewhere, titled 69 in Position - Neutral EV?, in which a chopped pot analogy is drawn from a sexual arrangement requiring that both parties put chips in the pot (if you know what I mean) and neither has an orgasm.

Originally Posted by manfredi

When you give a hooker an orgasm, you're paying her to get the best of you. Why would you want to take a perfectly profitable situation and fuck it up so badly that she gets the money and the orgasm? Do you like to get screwed?

Spoon is saying that he prefers to be the hooker who gets the money and the orgasm. When he finds a John, he takes care to arrange the situation to his sole benefit.

There is a related thread around here somewhere, titled 69 in Position - Neutral EV?, in which a chopped pot analogy is drawn from a sexual arrangement requiring that both parties put chips in the pot (if you know what I mean) and neither has an orgasm.

well that's well put and all, but i still don't get the word play

I'd give a hooker an orgasm for sure, not through pride but because I'd give her head.

Oh, and nice post all that time ago.

Originally Posted by OngBonga

I'd give a hooker an orgasm for sure, not through pride but because I'd give her head.

that seems like such a bad idea...

Cool thread, missed this the first time around.

Originally Posted by surviva316

well that's well put and all, but i still don't get the word play

IMO, the point spoon is trying to make is that even though you know its completely illogical to want to give a hooker an orgasm you're still tempted to try. In the same vein, even though you know its completely illogical to shove AK into a range of QQ+, you're still tempted to do it.

aka lose the pride and use your judgment

Originally Posted by OngBonga

I'd give a hooker an orgasm for sure, not through pride but because I'd give her head.

At the risk of turning this in to a commune thread, why would you pay some hooker to eat her stank ass box?

Originally Posted by StarGrinder

At the risk of turning this in to a commune thread, why would you pay some hooker to eat her stank ass box?

Dunno, fun maybe? I like giving head. I'd make her shower first. I'd also demand to snort cocaine off her tits, before I spunk all over them. Fuck's sake, if I'm paying, I'll have it exactly how I fucking want. She'll give me a foot wank too dammit.

Originally Posted by kfaess

Cool thread, missed this the first time around.




IMO, the point spoon is trying to make is that even though you know its completely illogical to want to give a hooker an orgasm you're still tempted to try. In the same vein, even though you know its completely illogical to shove AK into a range of QQ+, you're still tempted to do it.

aka lose the pride and use your judgment

yep, he nailed it.









c wat i did there?