Randomness thread, part two.

[Shotglass]

[bigred]

lol wat

[Shotglass]

I laughed like hell when I saw that

[bigred]

So I'm thinking it may be fun to write "Happy Birthday " randomly on Facebook walls of people I haven't talked to in years. (it won't be their birthday)

[bigred]

The key is the winky face

[bikes]

the big question is,

are we gon' party like its my birthday?

[BennyLaRue]

So I'm thinking it may be fun to write "Happy Birthday " randomly on Facebook walls of people I haven't talked to in years. (it won't be their birthday)

I like "Sorry to hear about what happened" and then see how many nosy ppl are all like, "omg, wha happa"?

[bigred]

Or "Don't worry about that, it's nothing Penicillin can't fix"

[BennyLaRue]

Or "Don't worry about that, it's nothing Penicillin can't fix"

Do it with pics posted back here or ban.

[boost]

"look, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was having an outbreak... but calm down, my doctor always says that outbreaks are triggered by stress, so like, just letting it go is for the best.

Wanna get coffee sometime?"

[Shotglass]

" I just got the test results back.... uh, you should call me"

[kiwiMark]

|.\
|...\
|.....\
|.......\
|___________


The x axis is time!

[boost]

Is the Y axis "shit to do" ?

[BennyLaRue]

The Y axis is "Kiwi's erection", imo.

[a500lbgorilla]

The Y axis is distance from X axis.

[BennyLaRue]

Why do they call it the "Y" axis anyway? Looks like a line to me.

[kiwiMark]

Why do they call it the "Y" axis anyway?

Looks like you've answered your own question there.

[UG]

so tonight I called bodog, after they wouldn't let me play on their tables...they were nice on the phones but they wouldn't let me deposit...fucking shit this is serious.

[lolzzz_321]

not even w/ WU?

[OngBonga]

Yesterday, while playing poker, I got into a brief argument with a German, which I won by telling him to "wash your cucumbers".

Turns out it was bean sprouts causing the nastiness. Now I feel a twat.

Who the fuck eats bean sprouts anyway?

[BennyLaRue]

People you're racist to.

[OngBonga]

What, the French eat bean sprouts? All of them?

[boost]

bean sprouts are pretty awesome, alfalfa and broccoli sprouts are where its at though.

[bikes]

so who else is excited about icloud's comeback?

[bigred]

so who else is excited about icloud's comeback?

aka Lala?

[DropTheBanana]

I've been talking to a guy who put an ad on Craigslist to sell his bass boat. I wanted to go by and look at it tomorrow after work and this is the text I just recieved:

"God is my Pfeiffer and I can't miss bible study tomorrow"

What religion is this? Google didn't really turn anything up

[BennyLaRue]

I'll assume that's an Autocorrect of "God is my fluffer and I can't miss bible study tomorrow".

[OngBonga]

I think he's gonna spend the day wanking.

[DropTheBanana]

He didn't act weird until the last two texts he sent me. I assumed Christianity at first since he referenced the Bible but I have never heard anyone use the term Pfieffer when talking about the Christian God.

The previous text said he wanted me to come by before 6:00 tonite because he was going to prayer at his church. I've never heard any other religion outside Christianity refer to a worship place as church. But have also never heard of a Christian having mandatory prayer on Tuesday evening and another service (or prayer time whatever) the following Wednesday.

He's whoring his boat out for next to nothing so if I end up going to see it later in the week, I'll be sure to ask him. That wouldn't be rude, would it?

[boost]

hes shoving it in your face... trust me, he wants to talk about his religion... it may be an evangelical bait and switch actually..

[wufwugy]

If you don't sin, Jesus died for nothing

What will I say to God when I'm before him in the afterlife? That he has a lot to answer for

[OngBonga]

If you don't sin, Jesus died for nothing

What will I say to God when I'm before him in the afterlife? That he has a lot to answer for

Hang on a minute... God? Afterlife? What happened to reason?

[wufwugy]

It's underneath your bangers and mash

[Galapogos]

Isn't Pfeiffer a pharmaceutical company? God is his drug?

Fall for the tarp so you can share the trip report with us.

[kiwiMark]

pfeifen is german for whistling and so I guess pfeifer could be like piper, does god get into that pied piper stuff?

[bikes]

Travels Abroad | Facebook

am in singapore at the moment so here are pics. album is public for now.

[bigred]

Travels Abroad | Facebook

am in singapore at the moment so here are pics. album is public for now.

Hiding all the ladybody evidence I see....

[bikes]

no ladyboys in singapore yo. despite my death run everytime i step into a bar in chiang mai i have not encountered any such bad luck in singapore. mostly because ive yet to step into a bar due to the redic high price of alcohol in this country

[BennyLaRue]

Surprised at everything being in English. Not even Engrish.

[OngBonga]

Am I the only person who thought of Michelle Pfeiffer? I mean, she might be the wrong side of 50, but she'd still do.

[BooG690]

Am I the only person who thought of Michelle Pfeiffer? I mean, she might be the wrong side of 50, but she'd still do.

Late jokes are late.

[OngBonga]

Over my head.

[kiwiMark]

he's just residually hating on you from when you first came and everyone hated you for reasons I don't remember, and accusing your joke of being too late cos it's been like a day or so since the original pfeiffer post

[Jack Sawyer]

Travels Abroad | Facebook

am in singapore at the moment so here are pics. album is public for now.

Just don't ever spit! Or chew gum!

GL in your travels man, snap more pics!

[fjuanl]

Is that a new leaked pic of Weiner?

[kiwiMark]

New Zealand representin'

Huge phalluses embarrass Kiwi school - Yahoo! New Zealand News

[boost]

YouTube - ‪Jesus Is My Friend by Sonseed‬‏

[kiwiMark]

dry cleaning isn't dry at all, they use an industrial solvent instead of water.

[bigred]

dry cleaning isn't dry at all, they use an industrial solvent instead of water.

Did this just come to the land of the kiwis?

[BennyLaRue]

Kiwis movin on up, to the East siiiide...

You finally got a piece of the piiiiiie.

[DropTheBanana]

Fall for the tarp so you can share the trip report with us.

Finally got our schedules together and went this morning to take the boat out.

It wasn't as exciting as I thought. He just said "Non-Denominational Christian" and that's about all I caught on the matter. I tend to tune people out and just nod and say "Oh Really?!?" when I don't give a shit what they're talking about.

But he did end up being a really nice guy and sold to me at less than 50% of book value (8.7K on a boat and trailer easily worth 19K) to help pay for his daughters tuition. Doing the title work on Friday and sooo fucking stoked about it!!

I think Philly said he lived in that retirement community they call Sarasota. Open invitation if you ever want to come up and get on the water sometime.

[Ash256]

Guys, workout advice because I'm a dick plz.

I joined the gym about 6 months ago, spent about 5 (and a bit more) of those months on a pisspoor diet and made a few strength gains but very few hypertrophy gains (My max reps are generally about 140% what they were when I first started). For the past 3 weeks I've been on a diet of 5 meals a day and ~1.1g protein/lb BM. I've noticed good improvements in hypertrophy and strength (incidentally the diet has made me feel fantastic too), but I feel like my routine is lame, stale, and not really based on any kind of scientific reality. I've tried researching but have generally come across a mix of autistic nittery and contradictory advice written in sales patter.

Can someone who's been on the scene long enough to safely navigate the putrid fecal rivers that are workout sites link me to a routine that will help me get fucking badass? Only limits are that I have no gym buddy and no access to barbells.

ty guys

[Shotglass]

Try P90X

[flomo]

Was the boat on water or on a trailer when you checked it out?

[DropTheBanana]

Was the boat on water or on a trailer when you checked it out?

We met at a ramp and took it out. I took a friend that works at a local marina since I really don't know jack shit about outboards and he gave me the go ahead to buy it.

Why do you ask?

[wufwugy]

Guys, workout advice because I'm a dick plz.

I joined the gym about 6 months ago, spent about 5 (and a bit more) of those months on a pisspoor diet and made a few strength gains but very few hypertrophy gains (My max reps are generally about 140% what they were when I first started). For the past 3 weeks I've been on a diet of 5 meals a day and ~1.1g protein/lb BM. I've noticed good improvements in hypertrophy and strength (incidentally the diet has made me feel fantastic too), but I feel like my routine is lame, stale, and not really based on any kind of scientific reality. I've tried researching but have generally come across a mix of autistic nittery and contradictory advice written in sales patter.

Can someone who's been on the scene long enough to safely navigate the putrid fecal rivers that are workout sites link me to a routine that will help me get fucking badass? Only limits are that I have no gym buddy and no access to barbells.

ty guys

Welcome to Monkey Island

Welcome to Monkey Island

T NATION | One Lift a Day Program

Two old ass threads from Lyle's site, and the best program ever (despite the fact it's on a shitty site)

But really, dude, the program you use doesn't matter. Hard work and consistency is what matters. The core of it all is that there's a thousand ways to get the job done, but they're all dependent upon continually pushing your hardest. There are other important things like general balance in movement types, set/rep range, recovery, technique, safety, etc, but those are all easy to learn. The hard part is stopping the ego from getting in the way

The mantra among people who understand this thing has been "hard work + time + consistency = results". Just don't be stupid about it (like killing yourself and not recovering, or lifting through injury, or using terrible form, or other stuff that should be obvious) and you'll get the results.

Focusing on good programs is often a red herring. It's usually when people don't wanna put in the hard work that they trick themselves into thinking they need a better program. People have been getting buff all sorts of ways. The only similarities in the training programs of guys like Pyrros Dimas and Schwarzenegger were in the underlying fundamentals of the stuff I mentioned. On the surface, their programs looked like apples and oranges

Here's the bottom line: train hard when it's time to train hard, rest when it's time to rest, don't push injuries, and include variety. That's 90% of the battle

[jyms]

What Wuf said, but Diet is everything. If you can't learn to eat right your going to be at this a long time without much results

[flomo]

I think it is wise to check out a used boat on the water and out of the water.

Excellent move to have a friend from the marina check it out with you, I would certainly need that help also.

Enjoy your ride!
And post pics.

[bikes]

What Wuf said, but Diet is everything. If you can't learn to eat right your going to be at this a long time without much results

lies and slander, just micheal phelps it.

[wufwugy]

[givememyleg]

Dalai Lama Doesn't Get Dalai Lama Joke is Today's BIG Thing - JUN 14, 2011

[OngBonga]

Crap weather today.

[Hawk]

This is just amazing!
YouTube - ‪Happy Hot Dog Man.mp4‬‏

[Warpe]

This is just amazing!
YouTube - ‪Happy Hot Dog Man.mp4‬‏

I want my 1:45 back.

[Hawk]

oh come on! it might be the greatest invention of all time. if not, the greatest is the mustard topper that comes free.

[a500lbgorilla]

This is just amazing!
YouTube - ‪Happy Hot Dog Man.mp4‬‏

"What was that?"
"It's called an infomercial for some tacky piece of crap."
"Seriously, that video needs to shut the fuck up."

[a500lbgorilla]

Super 8 was a great flick. Def go see it next time you're at the theatre.

[wufwugy]

So I saw some picks on b the other day

Of completely unshaven women

Armpit hair, leg hair, vagina hair

Was the grossest thing I've ever seen

No joke

I then began believing in Creationism

Because there is no other way to explain how disgusting hairy women are

And they're all hairy, naturally

So evolution couldn't be true because who would fuck the grossest thing ever

Then I realized that's why men like jailbait

If you could trace human ancestry back to the beginning, I bet you would find a significant portion of progeny being birthed by young pubescent girls

Perhaps young enough that they're not hairy and gross

Seriously, I have seen people chopping dudes heads off, but it wasn't a gross as some chick trying to be all hot with her furry legs

[supa]

Super 8 was a great flick. Def go see it next time you're at the theatre.

2nd time I heard this today. Gonna try to catch it next weekend.

[rong]

errrrrrr..... why are their all of a sudden 87 members logged in, most of whom I've never heard of? Seems a little odd.

[BennyLaRue]

Smells like a Freeroll.

[bikes]

tbh i havent heard of half the people considered regulars itf

[jyms]

errrrrrr..... why are their all of a sudden 87 members logged in, most of whom I've never heard of? Seems a little odd.

http://www.flopturnriver.com/pokerfo...mt-187535.html

[LabourHater]

[DropTheBanana]

Took both of my dogs (Chocolate lab and Golden Retriever) to the vet this a.m. for grooming/exams/shots etc. Dropped them off around 8 and at about 3 p.m. I get a call from the vet saying...

"Hershey has bit one of the vet techs (i.e. dog walker) and he his currently in the ER getting checked out. Animal control has been called and we will need to quarantine him for 10 days"

I found this odd since neither of my dogs have ever been aggressive and are actually overly friendly with strangers and love going to the vet.

I get there and find out he bit the guy on the chin and for some reason they hadn't done his shots yet. He was 10 days past due for a rabies shot (at the vets request to bring them in at the same time since it would make appt making more convenient for them). It baffles me they wouldn't do his shots immediately instead of the other non-pertinent things first.

I asked them...

How did he get bit on the chin? Why was this dipshit vet tech's face near my dogs mouth? Why has he been here for 7 hours and still haven't gotten his shots? etc. No straight answer from them.

They aren't charging me to board him (and were actually the ones who offered to do it) and are covering all his other medical and grooming expenses from today. Something seems odd about this but they just won't give me a fucking straight answer.

Fucking A.