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 Originally Posted by spoonitnow
I think in general, our types tend to work so much in the world of axiomatic systems that we often ignore or at least discredit knowledge gained through experience rather than reasoning.
In all seriousness, when I realized just how guilty I was of this in my mid-late 20s, I almost immediately started becoming better and more successful at virtually everything I did.
I was asked in private conversation to expand on this, so I figured I'd post it here instead of in a Skype box. First, a quick bio of what led up to it:
- From the time I was in my early teens, I was more or less on the path I would have needed to be on in order to get a Ph.D. in mathematics and teach at a university. I love teaching, I'm good at it, I love math, and I'm good at that too. It was a good fit.
- I went to a junior college for two years before intending to transfer to NC State. While there, I worked as a tutor for the college for everything up to and including physics, the entire calculus sequence, differential equations and abstract algebra. I also worked in a TA type of role and as a substitute instructor for the department when needed. I absolutely loved it.
- I loved to Raleigh to go to NC State, some things didn't work out, and I moved back home. I started going to college again about a year later fully intending on continuing the path I laid out above.
- Within a year, I became disillusioned with academia. Within a year of that, I quit school permanently. Within a year of that, I was making more than I would have made as a professor with a lot more freedom and a lot more room for growth, with the exception of a few years where things went off the rails because of things that went down with my ex. The earnings and freedom have continued since my mid-20s, and I'll be entering my mid-30s later this year.
I mentioned realizing "just how guilty I was of [ignoring/discrediting knowledge through experience rather than reasoning]" in the quote above, and I can trace that back to a single afternoon. This is what led to the events of my fourth bullet point above.
All of the reasoning in the world told me to stick with my plan. It was a solid plan, and abandoning the plan did not make sense within that frame of thinking. In the interest of making this as short as I can, I had one conversation that hit me right in the face with the reality of my experience and the knowledge that experience had given me. (The conversation was with Renton from FTR, oddly enough, though this effect wasn't intentional on his part.)
Now here's what my experience told me: I loved math, but I hated school. I hated the politics and the bullshit. I hated the rigid schedule, and I hated authority. I hated needing to rely on one entity for a means to provide for myself.
Reality hit me in the face: By following this super rational plan of finishing school, getting my Ph.D. and teaching, I was going to be miserable. I would have to endure a lot of things I really hated in order to get a chance to do things that I loved, and that would make me miserable. I didn't want to do that, but I didn't know what else to do because I was completely discrediting that whole line of thought because it didn't follow the type of thinking that had gotten me to that point. I was discrediting and ignoring what my experience was telling me. The "reasonable" plan was "safe."
Then I had that one conversation one afternoon, about six months after the UIGEA was passed, and it was like a switch flipped. I took two more classes after that just because I wanted to (real analysis and a graduate complex analysis) with no intention of trying to graduate after that, and I threw myself into anything I could to build a different life.
It turned out that I was good at it and that it made me happier than what I was doing before (and this was before I really got into poker how I did for a while). All of the disadvantages of the "reasonable" path were gone, and I wasn't miserable anymore.
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