Randomness thread, part two.

[spoonitnow]

Haha! I already own at life!

I don't really care if I get along with people I've never met on a poker forum. I'm the kind of dick who thrives on stupid arguments. I don't even care if everyone thinks I'm an idiot. My real friends don't think I'm an idiot, and I'm happy, so my life rocks. I get a great deal of amusement out of the conversations I have in this forum, if I didn't I'd have fucked off long ago.

Some people seem to have a problem with me because I refuse to work. I get that. I used to get up every day at 8am and hate those who didn't. I used to be pissed off until 5pm, then go home, have a spliff and a bite to eat, watch shit tv, go to sleep then do it again four more times before I get some proper me time at the weekend. Then I took a look at the two million or so people who are basically unemployable. A great deal is made about welfare and if we should provide an income for those who refuse to work, but the vast majority of those on welfare are the kind of people who you would not employ if you owned a business. Why should I be forced to work just because I'm not as lazy and feckless as these people? Why shouldn't I be able to sit on my arse all day while the stupid unemployable people watch Jeremy Kyle and drink Special Brew? I have to work just because I'm potentially useful?

I don't want to work because I hate the way the system works. I don't want to pay tax for us to maintain nuclear weapons and start wars with countries who should not be our enemies. I also reject the concept that I HAVE to work.

But my biggest problem is that I can't grow a plant for consenting adults to smoke. I'm not going to work in a factory or maccie fucking dees just because the law says I can't do what I'm actually good at and enjoy doing. Fuck. That. Shit.

I very, very, very much sympathize with the bold. You should move to somewhere like Colorado here in the US and grow weed.

[spoonitnow]

... and started coaching spoonitnow in "life" for $100/hr

lol

[OngBonga]

I very, very, very much sympathize with the bold. You should move to somewhere like Colorado here in the US and grow weed.

I'm not being forced to move away from my friends and family to another country whose foreign policy outrages me, just to support myself. If I had no welfare, I'd break the law rather than move to the States.

[OngBonga]

Quick physics question for you, is there enough force in that phone to be likely to kill a person?

Fear not, I've asked Chris Moneymaker, he'll clear it up for us.

yes

So that's that settled then. Don't throw iphones off skyscrapers.

[a500lbgorilla]

why do you want to meditate?

Saw a scientific article on meditator's having more gray matter.

[a500lbgorilla]

I'm not being forced to move away from my friends and family to another country whose foreign policy outrages me, just to support myself. If I had no welfare, I'd break the law rather than move to the States.

Whose foreign policy outrages you? This is an outrage!

[OngBonga]

Whose foreign policy outrages you? This is an outrage!

Mainly ours, yours and Israel's. But mostly Israel's.

[oskar]

Ever since I've moved here my landlord has been a total mess. Always angry, always fat and angry. But I just realized I haven't heard him argue with anyone in ages now. When I see him, he's walking upgright. When I walk past him he waves at me. I think I've even seen him smile. Then I realized, it's been at least 6 months since I've seen the aid pick up his severely handicapped child. They used to pick her up at 8am and bring her back in the afternoon. So he's just relieved his child died.

Anyway, that was awful, on a lighter note: I was going to get a gym membership but then I just bought a leather jacket instead. This one is also true.

[oskar]

So that's that settled then. Don't throw iphones off skyscrapers.

Best use of an FTR AMA ever.

[spoonitnow]

I'm not being forced to move away from my friends and family to another country whose foreign policy outrages me, just to support myself. If I had no welfare, I'd break the law rather than move to the States.

I meant more along the lines of the pursuit of happiness than running away.

[spoonitnow]

Ever since I've moved here my landlord has been a total mess. Always angry, always fat and angry. But I just realized I haven't heard him argue with anyone in ages now. When I see him, he's walking upgright. When I walk past him he waves at me. I think I've even seen him smile. Then I realized, it's been at least 6 months since I've seen the aid pick up his severely handicapped child. They used to pick her up at 8am and bring her back in the afternoon. So he's just relieved his child died.

Anyway, that was awful, on a lighter note: I was going to get a gym membership but then I just bought a leather jacket instead. This one is also true.

I hear you.

[oskar]

it is literally impossible to order a t-shirt with a large portrait of adolf hitler on the front. how am I supposed to become the ultimate hipster now?

[rong]

Just played my first live game of poker in 9 years. Cleaned up. Feels good.

[eugmac]

Just played my first live game of poker in 9 years. Cleaned up. Feels good.

no poker in the...

[boost]

Ever since I've moved here my landlord has been a total mess. Always angry, always fat and angry. But I just realized I haven't heard him argue with anyone in ages now. When I see him, he's walking upgright. When I walk past him he waves at me. I think I've even seen him smile. Then I realized, it's been at least 6 months since I've seen the aid pick up his severely handicapped child. They used to pick her up at 8am and bring her back in the afternoon. So he's just relieved his child died.

Is the landlord the villain in this story?

[OngBonga]

Is the landlord the villain in this story?

It's real life, not Hollywood. Which means everyone is the villain.

[boost]

Yeah, I meant from oskar's perspective.. I was having trouble inferring the moral of the story.

[rong]

Ever since I've moved here my landlord has been a total mess. Always angry, always fat and angry. But I just realized I haven't heard him argue with anyone in ages now. When I see him, he's walking upgright. When I walk past him he waves at me. I think I've even seen him smile. Then I realized, it's been at least 6 months since I've seen the aid pick up his severely handicapped child. They used to pick her up at 8am and bring her back in the afternoon. So he's just relieved his child died.

Maybe relieved, but certainly less stressed by the situation.

But I'm not sure on the point you're trying to make.

[OngBonga]

Why does there have to be a moral to the story? This isn't Aesop's Fables.

It's brutal reality. The moral of the story is life sucks.

[eugmac]

i like stories that don't have morals to them, they're just stories. i've read better stories though, to be a bit harsh.

[oskar]

lol
To lighten up the mood here, I haven't seen the wife in a while either so maybe she just left with the kid. Kid was worst case tho. She had a little table in the front of her in the wheelchair she was strapped in. There was never anything on it. She was being pushed around fed. The less conscience there was the better.

I have a happier retard story to redeem myself. Last week a woman came into the shop with her retarded teenage daughter. split lip, downs, but quite cheerful. Every 30 seconds or so she made a happy pelican noise pelican noises for reference and every single time the mother went 'shush' and kept talking. Mother was upper middle class, very well dressed and well spoken with completely unveiled distaste for her dumb daughter. You'd think after 16 years of constant pelican noises you'd just get to terms with it and move on.
What makes this a happier retard story is that the daughter was oblivious to her mothers disappointment. Also one time she made a sad pelican noise and the mother chuckled.

[boost]

Why does there have to be a moral to the story? This isn't Aesop's Fables.

It's brutal reality. The moral of the story is life sucks.

Moral may not have been the right world. I wasn't sure if the OP was laced with judgement and contempt for the landlord or an understanding of the harsh reality that he faced and was now free from. I mostly see it through the lens of the latter, but was curious to see how oskar and others saw it.

[oskar]

Have you seen the Louis Theroux documentary on Autism. I really admire the parents who came out and openly said that they don't get anything out of the relationship with their child. That they keep giving love and get nothing back and how it emotionally drained them. It's fucking tough to have a disabled child (properly disabled, not the handicapable kind). I have a lot of respect for the parents that take responsibility.

[spoonitnow]

Have you seen the Louis Theroux documentary on Autism. I really admire the parents who came out and openly said that they don't get anything out of the relationship with their child. That they keep giving love and get nothing back and how it emotionally drained them. It's fucking tough to have a disabled child (properly disabled, not the handicapable kind). I have a lot of respect for the parents that take responsibility.

32nd trimester abortions should be legal imo

[aubreymcfate]

^^ feminist hero

[spoonitnow]

^^ feminist hero

Cool new video game where you hold a fake keyboard in your hand and press groups of colored keys in rhythm based on which minority is being offended by the song on the screen.

[MadMojoMonkey]

Cool new video game where you hold a fake keyboard in your hand and press groups of colored keys in rhythm based on which minority is being offended by the song on the screen.

Instant YouTube sensation.

[a500lbgorilla]

Science is literally going to fuck mosquitoes out of existence. http://www.reddit.com/r/science/comm...ly_attractive/

[OngBonga]

There will be consequences. God will not be happy.

[a500lbgorilla]

Bring 'em on.

[a500lbgorilla]

Damn.. wish I had his genetics.



Mine require too much chocolate and alcohol.

[wufwugy]

you mean you wish you had his juice

[a500lbgorilla]

Look at how tiny his calves got. This guy hasn't cycled in a decade+

[wufwugy]

lol

masterful pun if that's how you meant it

if you mean roids, calves the last thing those affect. he probably just doesnt work them as much anymore.

[BooG690]

He uses juice. So what? Why is that bad?

[BooG690]

Why is it people think you can just juice without working hard?

[wufwugy]

juice is amazing.

i plan to hrt it up when i get old enough.

[wufwugy]

Why is it people think you can just juice without working hard?

im not sure how many people think that. some do. it takes both. well, sometimes you can just work hard. but for most people getting huge and cut simultaneous needs juice.

plus he's an old school bodybuilder. they ate dbol with their cereal

[a500lbgorilla]

I work with a guy who's 80+, he has like 55+ years with the company, and his mental age only shows with his vision and suckage with computers.

By 80, I'll have been dead for 5 years, but I'd like to think that use-it-or-lose-it has a happy upside.

[jackvance]

Just had a good work-out on the treadmill. Definitely want to make this a daily thing. I'm starting to see the merit in statements like "no pain no gain".

[rong]

We just bought a treadmill, a decent one like what you find in a gym. She's uses it 5 days out of 7, ive yet to time. I'm OK with this.

[Renton]

I wouldn't be surprised if more money was wasted on treadmills than heroin.

[daven]

We just bought a treadmill, a decent one like what you find in a gym. She's uses it 5 days out of 7, ive yet to

who is she trying to impress?

[spoonitnow]

who is she trying to impress?

sup dozer

[boost]

I wouldn't be surprised if more money was wasted on treadmills than heroin.

I mean, the ultimate effects of heroin are obviously awful, but at least it gets utilized as intended at the point of purchase.

Like, how awesome would it be to be able to quantify unused treadmills in oil soaked endangered migrating birds?

[rong]

The improvement in the quality of my girlfriends ass should should be measured. I will post regular pics for your judgement.

[Renton]

I mean, the ultimate effects of heroin are obviously awful, but at least it gets utilized as intended at the point of purchase.

Like, how awesome would it be to be able to quantify unused treadmills in oil soaked endangered migrating birds?

I probably killed a lot of birds. I bought a treadmill and smith machine a few years ago. I barely used either, and the smith machine I actually had to give away on craigslist when I left for Thailand. Sold the treadmill, though. So maybe it got put to better use. The only apparent benefit they provided for me was to guilt trip me into playing more poker.

[spoonitnow]

The following might be my favorite racist joke that my dad has ever told because I think it's very elegant in its setup and redirection with the delivery of the punchline.




So Colonel Sanders is walking down the street one day with his pet raccoon on his shoulder.

He walks up to this black boy who looks amazed, and the boy is like, "Colonel Sanders, what's that on your shoulder?"

Colonel Sanders is surprised, and he says, "Damn boy. You've been called one of these all your life, and you don't know what it is?"

The boy scratches his head and asks, "Is that a real live motherfucker?"

[a500lbgorilla]

Let's watch some guy get brain damage

http://i.imgur.com/sHxETcd.gifv

edit takes too long to load as gif

[aubreymcfate]

a 33 second, startlingly accurate description of the internet given by the eerily prescient marshall mcluhan in 1968.

[eugmac]

who is she trying to impress?

This is why forums need "Like" buttons.

[a500lbgorilla]

http://www.wired.com/2015/05/silk-road-2/

Definitely read part 1 and this.

[a500lbgorilla]

Slick find, aub

[Renton]

Greece is stepping up pressure on Germany to pay billions in compensation for war damages by running a video depicting Nazi crimes.

lol greece

[aubreymcfate]

Slick find, aub

marshall mcluhan is a top tier smarty pants. it's funny that you posted that Wired article because Wired named him their patron saint when they started in '93. He's the guy that said "the medium is the message," which is widely misunderstood today because it's actually not as self-explanatory as it sounds, and requires a basic understanding of his contentions. I've known about him for a while but have very recently become obsessed with his work (which wufwugy can attest to, I have not shut the fuck up about him for days). Incredibly stimulating and compelling stuff. Not sure if it would be up your alley but you may want to try sinking your intellectually-driven vampiric teeth into it

[a500lbgorilla]

You would front page with that video and a shorter title on reddit.

Do it.

[aubreymcfate]

Someone did post about him predicting world connectivity on Reddit, but it didn't really get much hype, probably because it wasn't a 33 second incisive summation. Meh ok, why not. Show it some love: http://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comme...summed_up_the/

http://marshallmcluhanspeaks.com/prophecies/

[aubreymcfate]

Um hold on, my account isn't old enough (just made a new one) because I didn't feel like using my old account with all the dumbass convos I used to get into. So the bot won't let me. *sigh* But I guess I'll have to use it.

edit: yeah I don't want to use that account lol. I'll figure it out and notify when I do.

[a500lbgorilla]

tocatta? That sounds like a native american scalping tool...

[aubreymcfate]

lol! It's piece of music that's virtuosic and very fast-moving, typically for piano or plucked strings. 11 refers to Prokofiev's Toccata in D Minor, Opus 11, one of my all-time favorite compositions, as well as the aural summation of what my mental interior is like. (I share this stuff on the off-chance someone might take to it, but I realize it's not immediately accessible music.)

[spoonitnow]

The invasion of all-male spaces by females is appalling.

[rpm]

why so spoonitnow?

[Renton]

So I was walking down the street today basically mentally visualizing fucking like every woman I saw. It made me think that in a few hundred years, men will be taking a pill to just turn their libido off so they can get more shit done. I mean it's seriously against our evolution at this point, having to devote like 40% of our mental energy to thinking about sex.

[eugmac]

In many other times in human civilization, women were the sex crazed ones, and men needed to be convinced to have sex with them.
http://www.alternet.org/when-women-w...-much-more-men

[eugmac]

I did not even read Renton's post before posting that, so it's just a coincidence.

[a500lbgorilla]

In many other times in human civilization, women were the sex crazed ones, and men needed to be convinced to have sex with them.
http://www.alternet.org/when-women-w...-much-more-men

Huh. Very interesting.

This is why I prefer BBC's Life over anthropological studies. It's easy to peel away the bullshit with other animals. Hey, those ducks dance and pair-bond for life; hey those monkeys fuck to say hello; hey those whales kill each other to slam their salami into that one hot brood sow - gets right to the point.

[a500lbgorilla]

Also, the greatest rhetorical piece of the modern age

[spoonitnow]

why so spoonitnow?

Because men need all-male spaces to develop and thrive. Throw a female into that, and it completely changes the dynamic.

Women also need all-female spaces.

And both need inter-sex spaces.

[wufwugy]

are these safe spaces or unsafe spaces?

[spoonitnow]

But how do you account for trans-gender people and gender fluidity?

I don't.

[spoonitnow]

are these safe spaces or unsafe spaces?

All spaces are unsafe regardless of the illusion that they would be safe, both in and out of the SJW context.

[jackvance]

Safe spaces, the new codeword for extreme censorship.

[spoonitnow]

Safe spaces, the new codeword for extreme censorship.

Ding ding ding, we have a fucking winner.

[a500lbgorilla]

This thread is a safe space for puppy pictures

[spoonitnow]

In many other times in human civilization, women were the sex crazed ones, and men needed to be convinced to have sex with them.
http://www.alternet.org/when-women-w...-much-more-men

Only if you cherry pick. Your link is propaganda.