Randomness thread, part two.

[MadMojoMonkey]

@ronk... that really belongs in a letter to the store manager.

Also, there must be a butcher near you that would love to have a customer as interested as you.

[oskar]

So I'm staying in an apartment for a couple of nights, kids free break in a nice little town. We decide to eat in and fancy some steaks so I head out to the local butcher. I really like going to small local butchers and chatting with the guy about what's good and how best to cook it etc. I just miss them and they're closed so I go to the supermarket instead, a little disappointed .

I go up to the butcher counter and there's a range of meats and a big sign saying ask us anything. Nobody is behind the counter and I check out the various steaks and the following encounter happens which seemed like a scene from a very dry sitcom.

Him - hi there, how can I help.
Me - hi there, that sirloin at the back, how big is that?
Him - I dunno (picks up up with tongs and shows it to me), about that big.
Me - yeah but how big is it?
Him - what?
Me - well how much does it weigh?
Him - dunno (slaps it in scales) 297g.
Me - well what's that in English?
Him - what?
- in ounces?
- I dunno.
- what? Steak's always sold in ounces.
- well I'd guess that's about half a pound.
- you'd guess?
- yeah it's about that.
- so how many ounces?
- dunno. How many ounces in a pound? 12? 14?
- errr right. Ok. Never mind that. Any particular recommendation with the steaks?
- I dunno. It's just luck really. You never know what you're gonna get.
- what? That's your answer? What about this sign here, "ask me anything"?
- well I'm not the butcher.
- what?
- I'm a Baker, you can tell by the colour of stripe on my head.
- dude, what the fuck?!
- I'd just get a sirloin from the aisle mate, I'm always happy with those.

At this point I wall away.

omg I love that guy!
There aren't nearly enough people who don't give a fuck on this planet. These are the good people. You might not get the steak you want, rong, but you should thank him for squatting the time and space that could otherwise be taken up by some over archiving troublemaker.

[wufwugy]

that really does sound like something stephen merchant would be involved in

[rong]

Yeah I struggled not to laugh ad I was walking away. The guy seemed quite thick but quite enthusiastic.

[Warpe]

Heh.

[OngBonga]

I remember once finding a member of staff who cares in a supermarket. Long time ago, that was.

[The Bean Counter]

That supermarket conversation is British customer service in a nutshell.

[wufwugy]

all this time i didnt realize british humor is the same thing as british reality

[spoonitnow]

Yeah just what the world needs, more half-assing idiots.

[OngBonga]

all this time i didnt realize british humor is the same thing as british reality

Why do you think we're such a miserable bunch of cunts? It's not just the weather and food.

[spoonitnow]

Why do you think we're such a miserable bunch of cunts? It's not just the weather and food.

Centuries of inbreeding.

[OngBonga]

Centuries of inbreeding.

You're right, we do have an extensive history.

[rong]

John wick has some of the best shoot em up deaths ever. It's worth watching just for the shoot outs. Actually that's pretty much all there is to it.

[a500lbgorilla]

This is so fucking cool I wish I understood any of it.

http://arstechnica.com/security/2015...found-at-last/

[Galapogos]

It means the NSA has your nudes.

[givememyleg]

i live in marquette. why do i live in marquette?

[a500lbgorilla]

Where's Pittsburg?

[a500lbgorilla]

It means the NSA has your nudes.

My interest continues to arouse.

[BooG690]

So, throughout my life, I saw my teachers as idiots (well, most authority figures actually). Obviously, nothing positive results from me viewing teachers as absolute morons. I have to remind myself that they are, in fact, not dumbasses and that it's probably my problem with authority flaring up again.

This semester, two of my professors are babbling idiots. Almost going out of their way not to teach. Usually, I'd just teach myself the material but one professors actually DOESN'T let us stray from the EXACT algorithm steps (and implementation) she outlines in class. This causes a problem since I think there are more optimal ways of implementing the algorithm (in terms of memory and time). So now, my brain isn't sure if she really is a mouth breather or I should learn to respect what she says.

[wufwugy]

You have to do both. Some teachers are brilliant, some are dolts. Few are capable of being truly wonderful since the system is schizophrenic. Its internal pressure is the scholastic pursuit, but its external pressure is application. The ultimate creator of this schizophrenia is government subsidization, but that's a story for a different time. For the time being, we have to cope with the muddy merger of two diametrically opposed philosophies

Most of what we should learn in school isn't that hard. Most of what we're taught is very hard. Personally, calculus would be easy as balls if we didn't waste time being taught every single one of those stupid "you don't need to know this, but you have to be taught it" things. The institution hates change and hates progress. It believes inherent to advancement is a gritting of teeth. It couldn't be more wrong

[OngBonga]

Explain to her in intricate detail why she's wrong and you're right, whilst simultaneously imagining placing your penis into her mouth.

[boost]

Excellent advice, although "imagining" should clearly be omitted.

[BooG690]

Wuf, why don't you ever end your paragraphs with a period? It drives me fucking nuts.

[wufwugy]

lollllllllll

if you look closely, i'll use a period about 20% of the time.

i think lack of periods arises out of instant message norms.

all these periods. just for you.

[wufwugy]

so, uh, why all the hate for dumb n dumber to? correct me if im wrong, but it's pretty much the same movie as the original. same jokes, same timing, i laughed just as much.

perhaps people forget that the original was beyond idiotic. view it with any sort of skeptical eye or in the wrong mental state, and it would be terrible.

[BooG690]

perhaps people forget that the original was beyond idiotic.

You bite your fucking tongue. Dumb & Dumber is top 3 greatest comedies of all-time.

[wufwugy]

Oh don't get me wrong. I don't disagree with that. I was trying to say that the humor is much stupider than I think people remember. The characters are just as goofy and ridiculous

I didn't mean idiotic as in bad, but idiotic as in wacky

[OngBonga]

Anyone who thinks Dumb & Dumber is top three all time comedy has seen exactly three comedies.

[Galapogos]

Wuf, why don't you ever end your paragraphs with a period? It drives me fucking nuts.

Oh dear god, cannot unsee!

[Galapogos]

so, uh, why all the hate for dumb n dumber to? correct me if im wrong, but it's pretty much the same movie as the original. same jokes, same timing, i laughed just as much.

perhaps people forget that the original was beyond idiotic. view it with any sort of skeptical eye or in the wrong mental state, and it would be terrible.

Two reasons, first would be that they seemed to have trouble falling into their characters again. It feels way more like they're playing a sketch of the original characters. I'm not an acting guy, but that's the best I can explain it, it's like the delivery tried to be extra stupid.

The other is they're no longer characters with heart. In the first one they were idiots but you emphasized for them. They did dumb shit but there was no intended harm to others, they were just going about trying to live their life as these friendly happy idiots. In the second one they're just oblivious assholes. You don't care if things pan out for them.

That's the best way I can explain it, I found it hard to put my thumb on why it doesn't work but I think that covers it. Yeah the gags are the same kind of deal (still not as funny as the first imo), but those character issues really kills the movie. I don't hate the movie, I'd rank it as it's an alright comedy to watch on Netflix, but it doesn't even come close to the first one.

[BooG690]

Anyone who thinks Dumb & Dumber is top three all time comedy has seen exactly three comedies.

Shut it, Brit. Monty Python is overrated.

[Jack Sawyer]

http://consumerist.com/2015/02/17/ph...liver-mocking/

The actions of Big tobacco seem to be even more fucked up than I could imagine

[OngBonga]

Shut it, Brit. Monty Python is overrated.

I'd be offended by this if you hadn't already showed you know very little about comedy by describing Shit and Shitter as top three all time comedy.

Actually it's only just occured to me that maybe you're a comedy genius, and you said that to troll me, knowing that I'd rate the three Python films as numbers 1, 2 and 3 respectively. Touche.

[Keith]

so, uh, why all the hate for dumb n dumber to?

ok so i got that far and was thinking , thats a bit harsh, boog and ong ain't that bad .

[spoonitnow]

I wasn't a huge fan of the original, but there were some funny parts. It was just overall too "dumb" for me.

[spoonitnow]

http://consumerist.com/2015/02/17/ph...liver-mocking/

The actions of Big tobacco seem to be even more fucked up than I could imagine

When people start losing their shit over McDonalds to the same degree that they lose their shit over tobacco companies, then I'll care.

[wufwugy]

Two reasons, first would be that they seemed to have trouble falling into their characters again. It feels way more like they're playing a sketch of the original characters. I'm not an acting guy, but that's the best I can explain it, it's like the delivery tried to be extra stupid.

The other is they're no longer characters with heart. In the first one they were idiots but you emphasized for them. They did dumb shit but there was no intended harm to others, they were just going about trying to live their life as these friendly happy idiots. In the second one they're just oblivious assholes. You don't care if things pan out for them.

That's the best way I can explain it, I found it hard to put my thumb on why it doesn't work but I think that covers it. Yeah the gags are the same kind of deal (still not as funny as the first imo), but those character issues really kills the movie. I don't hate the movie, I'd rank it as it's an alright comedy to watch on Netflix, but it doesn't even come close to the first one.

I don't disagree that much with this, but I don't think it makes it bad. The first was incredible, the second is knocked down a notch or two to great or just pretty good.

Also I think the points against it are still debatable. Overacting was the name of the game for the original. It's a little strange to think that overacting didn't work for the second. I think what happened is we idolized the original and then grew up and still idolized it and that informs our judgement on the new one.

The 90s adored ridiculousness. The current era hates it. Given how close to the original part two is, my first guess for why the masses don't like it is user error

[wufwugy]

i am unconvinced that monty python films are comedies. aren't those things supposed to be funny?

[Galapogos]

I don't disagree that much with this, but I don't think it makes it bad. The first was incredible, the second is knocked down a notch or two to great or just pretty good.

I think we both agree on the quality of the movie. But some people may have taken the things I didn't like about the movie much more seriously to the point it ruined the movie for them. That, plus the idealizing of the first film you mentioned.

Also I think the points against it are still debatable. Overacting was the name of the game for the original. It's a little strange to think that overacting didn't work for the second.

I personally didn't think there was much over acting in the first (aside from Jim Carrey doing his Jim Carry'isms), they played the roles of a couple ridiculously stupid guys, but that's pretty much how I would think someone that dumb would act. In the second it was like they took that stupid character then added the classic, "Uh duhhh..." before each line. Yeah they didn't literally do that but it's the best analogy I can think of to explain what I feel was wrong with the character portrayals this time around.

Actually here's kind of an exaggerated example of what it was like. You've probably seen Goodwill Hunting or at least have seen the Harvard bard scene with the douchebag. Then in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back there's a scene where Affleck and Damon are filming a sequel and are revisiting that scene bar scene. The way Ben Affleck acts in that scene is him playing his old character with some heavy handed satire. It's an extreme example but it felt a lot like that, like in Dumb and Dumber they were unintentionally satirizing their characters.

[a500lbgorilla]

Nee!

Tis but a flesh wound.

HOW ELSE WOULD YOU EXPLAIN MY OUTRAGEOUS ACCENT

[a500lbgorilla]

I haven't even watched that much of Monty Python's material but it's pretty easy to tell these guys were 2cleverby4



I remember some 5th graders doing the dead parrot sketch in the talent show when I was in 3rd grade. Shit was tight.

[rong]

If you don't find that funny you have something wrong with you.

[spoonitnow]

Trying to explain to a woman why social proof is so important for B2B marketing shouldn't be this difficult considering she won't shut the fuck up about the earrings her man bought her for Valentine's Day.

[a500lbgorilla]

Trying to explain to a woman...

Well there's your problem right here.

[BooG690]

If you don't find that funny you have something wrong with you.

I hate this argument. They're not funny. Monty Python fans find Monty Python funny because, well, God forbid they think otherwise.

Here's a popular Monty Python sketch:

It makes me cringe to think people find this to be "classic." Ugh, it's so bad. It's awful. It's not funny. Monty Python is overrated and are caught in a circle jerk. They're thought to be good because it's blasphemous to think otherwise for some odd reason.

You can throw The Eagles, Green Day and U2 to the group of things caught in this circle jerk. They're also bad.

[a500lbgorilla]

Alright, let's call it a draw.

[OngBonga]

Boog does have a point. It is blasphemous to not find Python funny.

Let's stone him.

[rong]

I'm not a huge money python fan. I find a lot of their stuff boring. But the link rilla put up, I'd never even seen before, and because of my general dislike of monty python, expected to not find funny, yet laughed out loud.

I'm not defending monty python, I'm defending that sketch.

[OngBonga]

In fairness, I'm defending Holy Grail, and Life of Brian. They're the classics. The rest is open to interpretation, granted.

[rong]

Dookie was great. The rest of their stuff is dull. Green day, obv.

[OngBonga]

Dookie was great. The rest of their stuff is dull. Green day, obv.

I dunno where this comment came from, but yes, totally agree. Green Day were briefly a good band. Now they're fucking awful.

[rong]

Boog said they were shite.

[a500lbgorilla]

[OngBonga]

Boog said they were shite.

He's right. I mean their best song starts off "Do you have the time, to listen to me whine".

[OngBonga]

This made me chuckle.

[spoonitnow]

That's pretty funny.

[Galapogos]

This image needs to be quoted with appreciation for the joke one more time. Funny stuff.

[wufwugy]

I think we both agree on the quality of the movie. But some people may have taken the things I didn't like about the movie much more seriously to the point it ruined the movie for them. That, plus the idealizing of the first film you mentioned.



I personally didn't think there was much over acting in the first (aside from Jim Carrey doing his Jim Carry'isms), they played the roles of a couple ridiculously stupid guys, but that's pretty much how I would think someone that dumb would act. In the second it was like they took that stupid character then added the classic, "Uh duhhh..." before each line. Yeah they didn't literally do that but it's the best analogy I can think of to explain what I feel was wrong with the character portrayals this time around.

Actually here's kind of an exaggerated example of what it was like. You've probably seen Goodwill Hunting or at least have seen the Harvard bard scene with the douchebag. Then in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back there's a scene where Affleck and Damon are filming a sequel and are revisiting that scene bar scene. The way Ben Affleck acts in that scene is him playing his old character with some heavy handed satire. It's an extreme example but it felt a lot like that, like in Dumb and Dumber they were unintentionally satirizing their characters.

I might claim that the sequel is slightly more sophisticated than the original. I would do that by contrasting the dream fight scene, where the original was more over the top in wacky-Carreyisms, with a joke like in the sequel where he screams I LOVE YOU when being pushed in the bushes. I feel like this is a small representation of how Carrey's humor has matured (not necessarily gotten better, but matured)

Granted, some of the sequels jokes were simply worse, like a few of him making fun of Asians. Part of that was funny (like how he couldn't understand the accents), but the rest was lame stereotyping


I'm for sure watching it again. The original too (to)

hashtag no periods

[wufwugy]

Be afraid of clowning on Green Day. Renton gonna Rush over and break his bass on your forehead

[boost]

I had to quote again. I can't remember the last time I had such a fit of laughter while being alone.

[wufwugy]

The only British shows I recall thinking are funny are Extras and Coupling. Extras seems pretty British but Coupling is more like a fresh look at a mashup of Seinfeld and Friends

[OngBonga]

Peep Show.

[boost]

Yeah, I've got to get back into Peep Show. It is very British, and it is very funny.

[Galapogos]

The only British shows I recall thinking are funny are Extras and Coupling. Extras seems pretty British but Coupling is more like a fresh look at a mashup of Seinfeld and Friends

The Inbetweeners is one of the funniest shows I've seen, you should check that one out.

[OngBonga]

The Inbetweeners is one of the funniest shows I've seen, you should check that one out.

It's alright. Those kids kind of get on my nerves after a while. I just want them to get into a fight and lose.

[Luco]

Peep Show.

ding ding ding

[Savy]

Inbetweeners is nothing special at all.

i am unconvinced that monty python films are comedies. aren't those things supposed to be funny?

You're kind of not appreciating how outrageous some of the things they were doing were at the time. Most of the films haven't aged well though and are fairly boring for the most part. They are however full of some of the funniest moments I've witnessed and are clearly hugely influential on a lot of UK comedians and writers.

As for not enjoying a lot of UK comedy shows, that's probably because most "great" uk comedies are like 3 seasons long consisting of 6 episodes each so they don't have time or space to flesh out a lot of stuff and become really great. Having said that though there's plenty of good stuff about.

[rong]

It was great. But like most comedy it's a reflection of a particular time, so as it ages it loses a bit of its edge.

[BooG690]

It was great. But like most comedy it's a reflection of a particular time, so as it ages it loses a bit of its edge.

Seinfeld hasn't lost a thing. Just sayin'.

[Savy]

Seinfeld hasn't lost a thing. Just sayin'.

First of all it wasn't as long ago. Secondly it really has. I watched quite a lot of it recently and most of the stand up bits are terrible. The show is still good and I'd much rather watch it than anything Python did but it's definitely aged and doesn't touch upon being anywhere near as daring. Roseanne >

It was great. But like most comedy it's a reflection of a particular time, so as it ages it loses a bit of its edge.

Couldn't agree more. I think The Young Ones suffers from this the most out of anything I've seen.

[OngBonga]

Are you kidding? The Young Ones is still great. Bottom feels more dated to me.

[JKDS]

This is best judged by the ROFLs scale. Monty Python's best skits provided multiple ROFLs. Seinfeld's best provides minimal ROFLs, but many sensible chuckles. Both have bad episodes. Both are aged. But Python was also a huge inspiration to many modern comedians, and has even had influence outside of comedy. Yall be crazy.

And now for something completely different.

http://www.feelguide.com/2015/01/06/...-inflammation/

[rong]

Very little comedy still works many years later. Stand up especially. Eddie Murphy and Richard Prior being 2 examples that still work incredibly well but with each passing year a few more jokes lose their punch.

[Savy]

Eddie Murphies stand up hasn't aged?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSPehKy4mUc

[rong]

Well that's not what I said.