Randomness thread, part two.

[donkbee]

some resemblance of my wife now that she's pregnant. at first it was like WOOOOOOOOT bigger boobies, now it's like DAMN! what happened to that sculpted ass of yours? and we're only at 12 weeks. not that I'm hitting it very often anyway.

[UG]

courtie, it's all part of the process, dear--I don't love her any less! I actually love her MORE because she's got our freaking kid in her belly!

you better believe her ass is back in the gym two weeks after having the baby, though. I will not stand for this shit when she's not pregnant.


please know that I'm kidding, but knowing her that's how she'll be anyway (and I am ok with that!), and if not I'm ok with that too

[a500lbgorilla]

According to your last two posts, your wife is hideous and your child is a freak. How do you think you can best apologize to your family?

[UG]

trust me my wife is still way hot, all is good in the world


EDIT: and yeah, I do sound like a dick up there, that wasn't my intention. her body has changed *a little* so far but we're pregnant. as long as she's happy/healthy/etc it doesn't matter.

[bigred]

screenshots + facebook = kate's soon to be on the market!

[Lukie]

courtie, it's all part of the process, dear--I don't love her any less! I actually love her MORE because she's got our freaking kid in her belly!

you better believe her ass is back in the gym two weeks after having the baby, though. I will not stand for this shit when she's not pregnant.


please know that I'm kidding, but knowing her that's how she'll be anyway (and I am ok with that!), and if not I'm ok with that too

everyone knows that you're not kidding <3

we need to drinks some beers yo, it's been way too long

[bigred]

sup lukie

[jyms]

courtie, it's all part of the process, dear--I don't love her any less! I actually love her MORE because she's got our freaking kid in her belly!

you better believe her ass is back in the gym two weeks after having the baby, though. I will not stand for this shit when she's not pregnant.

This was my semi serious attitude too when the wife was pregnant. I made a bunch of jokes but I knew she would never let herself go with her drive and attitude towards herself. Boy was I wrong. Kids change shit. Neither of us has got within 30 lbs of our pre pregnancy weight. I finally got back to 255 this week from my max of 290 on April 1st this year. Well over 6 years ago, when she got pregnant, I was 235

[Lukie]

sup bigred

going to the gym!

[rong]

errrr....wuf.... there's a fat chick instead of your sig, sort it out bruv.

[wufwugy]

errrr....wuf.... there's a fat chick instead of your sig, sort it out bruv.

This one's for me

The other was because I know all you nubs have some kinda weird fetish for pale flat ass fake redheads

[BooG690]

This one's for me

The other was because I know all you nubs have some kinda weird fetish for pale flat ass fake redheads

Wuf...I'm all against pasty dumbass redheads too. However, if you were gonna get a curvy girl there as your sig, why not get some ebony? Curvy + ivory just looks fat.

[wufwugy]

lol at her being fat. She would probably look a wee bit better if she were thinner, but variety is a necessity, and she is within the acceptable range with which to satisfy that variety.

Also, I've seen every gif of hot chicks ever made, and aesthetically acceptable ethnic booty is very difficult to come by. They usually always cater to that stupid spastic booty shaking fetish, not to mention that 98% of cinematography of all things porn related is utter garbage

And lol at not questioning heterosexuality after lamenting the shape of her hips. Big lol at that one. On top of that, no real man has ever questioned a pretty face with pigtails

Just sayin bro, you mights be gay. Youse might wanna look into that, could be you find dick be all that and a bag of ketchup chips

[JKDS]

This one's for me

The other was because I know all you nubs have some kinda weird fetish for pale flat ass fake redheads

[x]has fetish for fake redheads
[ ] the fetish is weird

And ya, +1 to dan being gay.

[wufwugy]

[x]has fetish for fake redheads
[ ] the fetish is weird

And ya, +1 to dan being gay.

brosiah, just because you're a good broseph here's a mega hot pasty fake redhead all for you, lindsay broham

nsfyourmom http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4069/...963bf573_b.jpg

[JKDS]

[BennyLaRue]

I like her attitude.

[wufwugy]

moustache man knows wassup

[rong]

[x]has fetish for fake redheads
[ ] the fetish is weird

And ya, +1 to dan being gay.

[x] JKDS is a chubby chaser
[x] Dan would hit the fat chick too, but only if there wasn't a slim chick to hit on instead

[Ash256]

it doesn't make sense how she can be called fat, chubby or remotely overweight

she's just buxom with massive hips

and buxom = win

[donkbee]

courtie, it's all part of the process, dear--I don't love her any less! I actually love her MORE because she's got our freaking kid in her belly!

you better believe her ass is back in the gym two weeks after having the baby, though. I will not stand for this shit when she's not pregnant.


please know that I'm kidding, but knowing her that's how she'll be anyway (and I am ok with that!), and if not I'm ok with that too

haha the sad face wasn't so much about your sounding like a dick but more for the fact that I really really am dreading being pregnant (and delivering). All you fuckers on this forum are so lucky you don't have to face that prospect. I really want to have a couple kids but it's gonna suck so much.

[Galapogos]

Just sayin bro, you mights be gay. Youse might wanna look into that, could be you find dick be all that and a bag of ketchup chips

Since when do Americans know about ketchup chips?

[wufwugy]

Since when do Americans know about ketchup chips?

YouTube - "High as F#%k" Music Video

[boost]

mmmm thick white chicks...

[SaulPaul]

Pat3082 or whatever is name is currently has 17/20 threads in the MTT forum. New record?

[bigred]

Funny convo from overheardinnewyork.com:


Middle aged lawyer #1, reading newspaper: Childhood obesity is an epidemic? America is the only country where poor people are fat.
Middle aged lawyer #2: Cheap food is fattening.
Middle aged lawyer #1: Maybe so, but if they're fat, they can't be starving, right? Nobody ever starved to death while they were fat.
Middle aged lawyer #2: The reason they're fat is that they can't afford to eat healthy. Your comment is shockingly racist, hateful and ignorant.
Middle aged lawyer #1: Oh, now being fat is a race issue? Ever been to Disney World? They have white people there who could cause an eclipse.
Middle aged lawyer #2: Our agricultural policy encourages the poor to eat cheap, unhealthy calories. A Big Mac might make you full, but it also makes you fat!
Middle aged lawyer #1: McDonald's sells salads too, ya know. Who's forcing the poor to order Big Macs? Or to eat twelve of them?
Middle aged lawyer #2: If you believe you're correct, why don't you try living on a restricted budget and food stamps?
Middle aged lawyer #1: If my budget was so restricted, I might stop at the first Big Mac instead of ordering a dozen. And nice way to divert from the issue, which is that America's poor are obviously not starving.
Female court reporter: That's right. It's the middle class that's starving because they're not getting government checks and food stamps.
Middle aged lawyer #2, with air of condescension, shaking head: How compassionate of you.
Middle aged lawyer #1: I'm very compassionate. I'm just not an enabler. I'm making a simple logical argument: fat people are not starving.
Middle aged lawyer #2, shaking head: Mere words do you no justice.
(the door to the room opens, and in comes the witness, an obese black teenager holding a McDonald's bag. The smell of french fries fills the room).
Middle aged lawyer #1: Were you listening outside the door?
Confused teen: No.

[kiwiMark]

So our bathroom ceiling is covered in mould, so I was cleaning that off today and the water must've dripped down the walls. The light's currently on, if you flick the switch to off the light stays on. If you then flick the switch back to on again you get a nice electric shock.

[wufwugy]

Do not touch it again, and call electrician ASAP

Electricity is one of the last things in the whole wide world you wanna mess with if you don't know what you're doing

[tomato paste carnage]

mmmm thick white chicks...

[kiwiMark]

Do not touch it again, and call electrician ASAP

Electricity is one of the last things in the whole wide world you wanna mess with if you don't know what you're doing

I've put insulation tape over the whole switch thing (largely 'cause I don't trust my flatmates not to decide to play with it standing barefoot in a puddle of water) and I'm just gonna wait it out and see if letting it dry or whatever has an effect, before calling an electrician.

[wufwugy]

No, you need to get an expert opinion. At least find a message board with people who understand the related professions, and ask for input. You could easily have something else going that you don't see, the electroshock could easily not be from the water you thought you got on it, and if it is, it could easily be a trigger that causes other problems.

It's one thing to not get a professional opinion about things that don't really matter, but an entirely different thing when it comes to something that can kill you. Especially with electroshock. If you experience electroshock in a situation where you're not supposed to, you're in a VERY serious situation. Even if that particular scenario is benign, you don't know this without a professional opinion.

Risk/reward. The probability may be low that this is a real issue, but the risk of being wrong is ridiculously, ridiculously high

[wufwugy]

ALWAYS be EXTREMELY cautious when dealing with shit like this. Electricity, fire, guns, cars even. DO NOT FUCK WITH THIS SHIT. If you think I'm wrong, go on /b/ and ask them to show you all the gifs of tards burning their faces off because they fucked with this incredibly dangerous stuff. Just because it's in your home doesn't mean the wrong move won't kill you yesterday

[kiwiMark]

I promise I'm not underestimating it As I said, when I first discovered it I covered the shit out of it with insulation tape to prevent any further accidents, and that's just gonna have to do until the world comes to life tomorrow between 9am and 5pm at which point I'll try and get something done about it. The randomness thread seemed like a place to tell the anecdote as a fun story, but believe me, growing up with a physicist for a father I don't take electricity lightly, and am annoyed with myself for not thinking about it as I splashed water round the place.

[kiwiMark]

I appreciate the concern though.

[JKDS]

Dont die kiwi. If you died, it would be hard to find a replacement poster with an avatar that had such a beautiful banana colored pole like in yours :'(

[wufwugy]

Dont die kiwi. If you died, it would be hard to find a replacement poster with an avatar that had such a beautiful banana colored pole like in yours :'(

How do you not recognize your own mother?

In case you're slow, I just called your mother a pole

In case you're even slower, I like your mama jokes

In case you're annoyed, just rest assured that your mother is a terrible lay. All she did was complain about how much I was hurting her

[Warpe]

[BennyLaRue]

I promise I'm not underestimating it As I said, when I first discovered it I covered the shit out of it with insulation tape to prevent any further accidents

You also turned off the breaker/pulled the fuse, yes? If not, it's a good idea in future and won't result in you burning your face off...quite the opposite, in fact.

Wufwugy's melodrama encourages me to take this opportunity to promote learning how to fucking be a man, in particular a self-sustained man. Learn about electricity and plumbing, so much so that you can do the simple shit yourself and know how to not kill yourself. If you have the room and are given the chance, learn how to do simple maintenance on your car or other small engines. Learn how to fish and grow food. CHOP SOME GODDAMN WOOD!

Some of you here are metrosexual babies who pay too much for people with real skills to help you do simple shit. Beyond the face value of knowing how to perform these tasks, you'll also learn analytical and problem solving skills that will exercise your brain and spill over into other important shit.

Thanks. Now back to your regularly scheduled lives.

[BooG690]

LOL @ dying from a loose wire in a switch. I'm with BennyLaRue. Grow some fucking balls and learn to play with wires.

Oh yeah...and get to the circuit breaker.

[boost]

LOL @ dying from a loose wire in a switch. I'm with BennyLaRue. Grow some fucking balls and learn to play with wires.

Oh yeah...and get to the circuit breaker.

I agree with benny, but only to an extent. If you dont currently posses skills in electricity.. then Id either call an electrician or find an electrical forum and post detailed pictures as I go and follow their advice. Sure you might fix it so that it doesnt shock you, but even scarier than getting electrocuted is electrical fires. These are far more deadly because they spread through the walls first, and by the time smoke alarms go off, or you wake up the fire is raging and may only have seconds to think fast and gtfo.

[BooG690]

I'm not advising that Kiwi attempt to fix it himself. I'm suggesting he learn a bit about electricity, wires, and how they work to avoid this problem in the future.

I worked with electricians and plumbers before and that is how I learned. However, I don't know how one without that resource would go about learning. Meh...

[XTR1000]

i dont believe in electricity.

[BennyLaRue]

I agree with benny, but only to an extent.

Nah, you agree with me entirely then. I don't suggest poking around with electricity in order TO learn. I advocate learning, then doing.

[wufwugy]

Naw, my advice is perfect. 100% fact that you do not want to screw around with surprise electricity, and should only continue after you understand what you're doing.

The whole learning how to do-it-yourself thing is an entirely different issue I never addressed. Simply knowing how to turn off the circuit breaker is about 5x ahead of the pack

[wufwugy]

A thing about me, though, is that safety first is an issue I will never ever budge on. It's something my father taught me, and the fact that I've seen every video ever caught of people ignoring safety and abysmally ruining their lives....

[a500lbgorilla]

Naw, my advice is perfect.

Suck on that!

There is a huge difference between fiddling with your plumbing and fiddling with live wiring. The former is the domain of a man; you bring water to your family. The flow of electrons, however... I'd rather just burn the cash and get someone with a close to 0% chance of electrocuting him/herself.

[kiwiMark]

YOU ALL AREN'T MY REAL DAD
















fucking caps filter

[wufwugy]

tHIS IS HOW THE REAL PROS DO CAPS

[a500lbgorilla]

YOU ALL AREN'T MY REAL DAD
















fucking caps filter

YOUR MOM WAS CALLING ME DADDY ALL NIGHT!

fucking stealth lowercaps

[kiwiMark]

Also for the record, I'm probably more metro-fag than all of you, but given my dad's a (safety paranoid) physicist and I'm a nerd who enjoyed playing with electronics a lot as a kid, I think I already have the basic electrical knowledge you guys feel I should learn. Especially with advice such as from that douche bufu, "learn enough about wires so you know how to make this not happen again" after I explained that it happened from me absent-mindedly splashing water into circuitry.

re: circuit breakers, this is quite an old house and they're split up not by room but rather by category ("lighting", "heating", etc.) and since we've got exams at the moment one of my flatmates really didn't want to be without light at all last night, so's he could get his nerd-panic-study on. Now that it's daylight, the breaker's off.

I don't know much about plumbing, though.

[BooG690]

Still playing this game, eh Kiwi? :P

[a500lbgorilla]

Thrust on, you crazy diamond!

edit lol at automatic link title

[BennyLaRue]

Moldova is awesome.

I saw a Moldovan Airlines plane once. It was actually a truck but it seems no one told them.

[fjuanl]

omg strasburg

[BennyLaRue]

omg strasburg

He's alright.

[UG]

omg strasburg

Holy. Shit.

Impressive performance, this kid's going to be fun to watch.

[bigspenda73]

impressive but the Pirates are awful and have scored the 2nd least runs this season so far at just over 3/game

[a500lbgorilla]

Wait, did the Pirates do something in baseball?

[Jack Sawyer]

And they also took Bryce Harper. Switching him from C to OF is ridic imo, but hey, whatever. The nationals will become a force to be reckoned with in the coming years imo.


Edit: Baseball Video Highlights & Clips | PIT@WSH: Strasburg fans 14 in his MLB debut - Video | MLB.com: Multimedia

LOLdamn, absolutely positively filthy break on that ball holy shit

[DropTheBanana]

You crazy FTR'ers! This is OP...you might remember me from such threads as "Drunk Thread" or my epic plot to kill off my fellow remaining werewolf in attempt to save myself.

I haven't been playing much poker since a lot of my time (and money) is consumed with engagement stuff, work, and being to lazy. I forgot my password and the email I had linked to FTR so I just made a new one. Hope thats cool.

[rong]

You crazy FTR'ers! This is OP...you might remember me from such threads as "Drunk Thread" or my epic plot to kill off my fellow remaining werewolf in attempt to save myself.

I haven't been playing much poker since a lot of my time (and money) is consumed with engagement stuff, work, and being to lazy. I forgot my password and the email I had linked to FTR so I just made a new one. Hope thats cool.

I so hope that someone now logs in on the real OP login and claims to be the real OP. You could argue it between yourselves and it would be like a real life warewolf game.

lynch op

[a500lbgorilla]

Refuse.

lynch OP

10 more votes for a ban.

[kiwiMark]

lynch op

I've no time for anybody coming back on here saying "remember me guys, I'm sooooo epic".

[jackvance]

Must have had the worst wake-up ever. At around 7:30 I feel this heavy stingy pain in my left hand thumb. In my drowsy sleepy state it registered at first like some kind of cramp. So I turn a bit, then get out of bed, twisting my hand to make it go away. But it won't. The pain is abnormal and keeps up so finally I wake up fully, realizing something weird is going on. And then I see the culprit. A wasp has fled back to my window (which was slightly opened). But not just a regular wasp. A huge monstrosity that you would expect to see in Jurassic Park, not in real life!

Not the actual thing, but to give you an idea:


Normally I'm not even scared of wasps at all, while other people usually run when one is close, I stay pretty cool. I grab a towel, standard tool for slapping dead such a thing. But this thing is so huge it actually looks more like you need to kill an animal instead of an insect! When it starts moving again I instinctively flee out to the hall. I wasn't wearing much so I snatch up some clothes and put them on to cover as much of my skin as I can while complaining about it to some people that were coming by. I go back in, still pretty much blinded by pain, but couldn't find it. Really looks like it went back out even though there wasn't much opening to do so (or come in for that matter).

Call the doctor, he says to take painkillers and that just deinfecting should suffice but to come over at 9 anyway. I end up not going because the painkillers knock me out and I wake up way later.

I later talk about it with some guy. A few days ago I had actually seen one of these huge wasps before, and he told me he had too and had been totally freaked out about them. Must be some kind of nest in the building idk. Good thing it didn't swell much, in the afternoon the pain started to become tolerable and looks I've regained use of my left hand too now.

[rong]

I actually feel a little sick just looking at the picture

[JKDS]

KILL IT WITH FIRE
stealth caps

[rong]

KILL IT WITH FIRE
stealth caps

And a can of deoderant

[a500lbgorilla]

YouTube - Basic Insect Anatomy - Asian Giant Hornet Suzumebachi

edit lol at fleeing into the hall. I've been there.

[a500lbgorilla]

Wait, where do you live?

[jackvance]

And a can of deoderant

Good read you got on me. I omitted it from the story but that was my new weapon when I went back inside haha. (although without the fire it might just piss it off more)

Btw it wasn't an Asian Hornet, but a normal looking wasp of that size as the one in the picture (prolly a bit smaller). I have my camera recharged if any of em ever come back again I'm snapping a pic of it. Alive, and dead.

[kiwiMark]

I have my camera recharged if any of em ever come back again I'm snapping a pic of it. Alive, and dead.

gl pressing the camera button after it's already killed you!

[a500lbgorilla]

Good read you got on me. I omitted it from the story but that was my new weapon when I went back inside haha. (although without the fire it might just piss it off more)

Btw it wasn't an Asian Hornet, but a normal looking wasp of that size as the one in the picture (prolly a bit smaller). I have my camera recharged if any of em ever come back again I'm snapping a pic of it. Alive, and dead.

Where do you live? I need lat-long coordinates to call in an air-stri... an air show.

[jackvance]

gl pressing the camera button after it's already killed you!

lmao..

Where do you live? I need lat-long coordinates to call in an air-stri... an air show.

Good old Belgium. It's such a tiny country, I'm in the building on the 3rd floor.

[wufwugy]

Belgium's the name I gave to my left nut

small world

[Warpe]

Belgium's the name I gave to my left nut

small world

small nut