|
Haha you know how it is.
I am writing this post because my roll is right near my postcount once again, and I made myself that promise that I would keep.
I have not been grinding seriously since like forever. The first time I decided to grind seriously, was after I made my first $1K (poor roll management and a crazy cash game and I swung it all the way up to $5K, and then back to just around $1K, so yes, I am not to be trusted in cash games), and I wanted to make a killing. I have pretty much always played SNGs, because my tilt control is absolutely horrendous if I am not constrained (rule #1: know thyself). Online, it's easy to just sit in another cash game and go on monkey tilt because you got outdrawn once again on the river, and end up bleeding your whole bankroll to the guy who did it because you were trying to get even.
So yes, the first time I decided to grind seriously, I got bad beaten because IRL someone broke into my SUV and stole my laptop. I had just made $1K online, and felt at the top of the world. Most know how hard it is to grind up to that first philosophical milestone.
I then withdrew pretty much all of it to get a new laptop. You know how expensive laptops were back in '07. I was also grinding without an internet connection at home, so I had to stay at the Uni until like 5AM playing $4 180s (before the steal that is). After my computing equipment got stolen (a custom Asus Z70V I worked hard to buy just a year before that, which was pretty much top of the line back then), a girlfriend offered me an old Sony Vaio (which didn't even have a functioning keyboard) as an interim solution. Beggars cannot be choosers, as they say.
After that event, I really did not give a fuck to grind seriously again. I had to buy a new one, and the one I bought cost around $2K, so I withdrew the $1K I had and had to work for the other $1K. It seems that around here, when people know you got some skills, they will do everything to get those skills at their disposal cheaply, and I ended up having to work almost an equivalent of $5K to pay off the laptop I got. So no poker, just me making billboards and stickers and whatever the fuck else the guy who got me the deal needed done.
I did break the magical mark once more, and went all the way up to like $1.8K playing SNGs, and then had to withdraw again for all tons of unavoidable RL shit that happened. I am happy I had a cushion, albeit small and whatnot, that I could depend on once again when called upon.
Fast forward through all the shit and sidegames and whatnot to today, about 4 years later. During all the time that went by, I was just like Voldemort in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone: nothing but a shadow of my former self, forced to flee from daylight and mice and whatever. But thankfully, this month (March) marks the first month ever that I have played enough to be a Silver Star just 8 days into the month. I am shooting to get to Gold this month (I have never ever even been GoldStar during any month), and then platinum in April. I have a confidence in my game I just did not have before, and my bankroll is growing steadily, alongside my amount of VPPs. I have a plan to reach supernova, but this will go into action later this year, hopefully right around September, month in which I will be armed to the teeth in new and up to date computer equipment I will be personally getting from the States when I visit there in August.
Sitting around and not grinding is not gonna get my goals done. All the big guys, Spacegravy, DutchSlugger, A 1 i s h A, Jorge Arias etc. grinded their asses off to get where they are now. They didn't just sit around looking at forum pages and magically got all their merits in. Poker is a ruthless meritocracy, someone once said, and I am prepared to undergo the same to achieve whatever merits are in store for me.
I am fully confident that if all goes well, I will finish 2010 as a Stars Supernova. That is my current goal, and with my (current) modest amount of volume, it will present to be quite a challenge, but I will climb that mountain. I showed in the past if I set me a goal, I would do it (the weight loss thing). I will do my utmost best to not fuck this up.
Playing 6 tables currently, I am looking to move to about 10 to stabilize there. Next long-ass update will come after (if ever!) I make PlatinumStar or my roll reaches $10K. Cash games will pretty much forever remain sidegames for me, or until I can get my tilt demons under control.
|