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The real question being posed here by fnord is given through his description of the table and the thread name - donktastic. We want to maximize our expectation from bad players.
Goodish but looseish reg (nearly $1k) limps
Total donator ($200) cracks a kidding around smile and raises to $15
Semi-loose/passive ($300) calls
Loose, aggressive with small money, passive with big money ($500) calls.
SB is a loose/passive donator ($500)
BB is tight/passive
You are the probably the tightest player at the table.
You have around $400, 99 and the button.
Loose reg will limp a very wide range of hands, donator bumps it up too small to $15 ($20, maybe more given tables looseness, but maybe his hand is weak) L/P call, and agressive with small money/passive big money calls. We want to play againts passive players, not agressive ones. On the button we have position, and the blinds are both passive.
bump it to $80 ish, expect folds to the donator who may call or shove (call the shove ldo) the raise should also push out the following two players. Coupled with our tight table image, we don't need to be playing for set value. there is a decent amount of money to be scooped, couple that with the fact the players are so passive it will be hard to maximize a set if we smooth call.
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