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Oh God This is Wonderful

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  1. #1
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    Default Oh God This is Wonderful

    As many of you know, my girlfriend's dad is a pastor-like person who was voting republican no matter what. My county voted 73% for McCain, the 2nd highest percentage in North Carolina (the highest was Durham County with 76%, I believe). So today there are two new myspace bulletins put up by him, which read:
    Alright everybody, hang on to your hats and wallets, it's gonna be a very bumpy ride for the next four years. I will be praying for this new administration that God will entervine and lead this man in making the right disisions for our country. I urge each of you to be praying for this country and the leadership. God help us.
    I know alot of you are upset over this election but, just know that our Lord our God is still in control. He is going to take care of his people, no matter how bad this gets. We as Chistians, need to pray for this new administration now. That God entervines and guides President - elect Obama in making the right disisions for this country. I know some of you are hurt and disappointed but keep your faith in what God can do, not man.

    Heavenly Father, I ask humbly that you forgive us for our sins and protect us from any harm that our enemies may try to bring upon us. I pray for your divine entervintion for our country and the new leadership of this great nation. Please help each of us to understand your disisions for what is happening and be with us and guide us all. I ask Father, that you put in place people that will be of good influence on our new president.
    Thank you for loving us and have mercy upon us , in the name of Jesus , your son and our Saviour, Amen
    What a moran amirite
  2. #2
    his spelling tilts me
    derp
  3. #3
    I'd definitely rather pray to an invisible dude than believe in personal responsibility and sacrifice.
  4. #4
    Hasn't it occurred to any of these magic, fun 'n' games believing types that maybe, just maybe, God gave them Obama in order to help them through the valley of the shadow of Death and all that?
  5. #5
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thunder
    Hasn't it occurred to any of these magic, fun 'n' games believing types that maybe, just maybe, God gave them Obama in order to help them through the valley of the shadow of Death and all that?
    This is unpossible because he is black doucy
  6. #6
    Chistians believe in Chist, amirite?
  7. #7
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    himself fucker.
    So am I to understand that Jesus has got Obama's back?
    <a href=http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png target=_blank>http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png</a>
  8. #8
    Stacks's Avatar
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    Im opedipus bitch, the original balla.
    Meh.. Looks good to me. No spelling or grammatical errors that I'm aware of. He is an A+ bible thumper imo.
  9. #9
    So ummm Obama is a pretty strong Christian lol

    I actually think Obama is more of a Christian than McCain McCain was just pandering to the Right a ton.

    I dunno
    Quote Originally Posted by mrhappy333
    I didn't think its Bold to bang some chick with my bro. but i guess so... thats +EV in my book.
  10. #10
    i dont know a ton on this specifically, but i speculate that obama is very likely non-religious, or perhaps he is only privately religious and doesnt care to impose those philosophies onto the public sector.

    my reason for thinking this is that his mother raised him to understand various religions and how they're cultural/social. also what i know of his thoughts on constitutional matters suggests that he understands what 'freedom of religion' means

    his time at wright's church could easily be explained as a politcal/social thing. the US is incapable of electing somebody who doesnt 'believe in god'
  11. #11
    Lukie's Avatar
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    i before e, except after c, or in sounding like 'A', as in neighbor or weigh
  12. #12
    Jack Sawyer's Avatar
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    Jack-high straight flush motherfucker
    Lets all pray to the Great White Handkerchief and hope the President - elect can be influenced to make good disisions.
    My dream... is to fly... over the rainbow... so high...


    Cogito ergo sum

    VHS is like a book? and a book is like a stack of kindles.
    Hey, I'm in a movie!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYdwe3ArFWA
  13. #13
    disisions disisions i love it
  14. #14
    gah was gonna post disisions stop stealing my thunder father!
  15. #15
    NPR played a clip from some conservative radio station and the chick was furious saying 46% of people did not support Obama and that is why he would fail.

    and I was like lol popular vote in 2000.

    The world isn't going to end, and it isn't going to be a paradise, most changes made will not be omfg huge.
    Quote Originally Posted by mrhappy333
    I didn't think its Bold to bang some chick with my bro. but i guess so... thats +EV in my book.
  16. #16
    will641's Avatar
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    wow spoon. why dont you just move and not look back?
    Cash Rules Everything Around Me.
  17. #17
    haha this reminds me of a conversation i had with my ex gf a week ago (who is also from NC).

    me: so your gonna vote huh?
    her: yea
    me: for Obama right?
    her: no im gonna vote for Mccain cuz mamma sais Obama is the anti-christ
    her: she sais the anti-christ is coming and its gonna be Obama.
    me: ...
    me: your one stupid bitch, your mom is psycho.
    I post nonconstructive piss
  18. #18
    a500lbgorilla's Avatar
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    himself fucker.
    Don't worry. Every generation *knows* that the anti-Christ is coming within their lifetimes. They can't all be wrong, that just wouldn't make sense!
    <a href=http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png target=_blank>http://i.imgur.com/kWiMIMW.png</a>
  19. #19
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaddyDeez
    haha this reminds me of a conversation i had with my ex gf a week ago (who is also from NC).

    me: so your gonna vote huh?
    her: yea
    me: for Obama right?
    her: no im gonna vote for Mccain cuz mamma sais Obama is the anti-christ
    her: she sais the anti-christ is coming and its gonna be Obama.
    me: ...
    me: your one stupid bitch, your mom is psycho.
    Should have told her that Obama isn't from the right part of the world to be the anti-Christ and that not voting for him wouldn't help since if he was the anti-Christ that he would come to power anyway.
  20. #20
    bikes's Avatar
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    Should have practiced avoidance.

    ?wut
  21. #21
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by will641
    wow spoon. why dont you just move and not look back?
    Because living here is cheap.
  22. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow
    Quote Originally Posted by DaddyDeez
    haha this reminds me of a conversation i had with my ex gf a week ago (who is also from NC).

    me: so your gonna vote huh?
    her: yea
    me: for Obama right?
    her: no im gonna vote for Mccain cuz mamma sais Obama is the anti-christ
    her: she sais the anti-christ is coming and its gonna be Obama.
    me: ...
    me: your one stupid bitch, your mom is psycho.
    Should have told her that Obama isn't from the right part of the world to be the anti-Christ and that not voting for him wouldn't help since if he was the anti-Christ that he would come to power anyway.
    No, its in a little known book of the Bible, "though shalt not vote for the anti-Christ and the world will be saved"
    "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." - Elmer Letterman
  23. #23
    Headline: "NC called for Obama."

    bwahahahahahahahahahahaha
  24. #24
    sarbox68's Avatar
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    But jesus was black... so isn't this like some kinda homecoming....?
  25. #25
    Chopper's Avatar
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    man in flood, told to get to higher ground said, "nah, my God will protect me. i aint leavin'."

    flood gets higher, man moves stuff upstairs. man gets told to leave and says, "nah, my God will protect me. i aint leavin'."

    flood gets to roof. man is on top of his house. helicopter comes and tells man to get in. he says, "my God will protect me."

    and, drowns. he gets to heaven and asks God why he wasnt saved, and God replies...

    "WHO DO YOU THINK SENT THE POLICE, THE BOAT and THE HELICOPTER?"

    sorry, spoon. i dont know how you live around the bible beaters. using God as an excuse to remain stupid is such a cop-out.
    LHE is a game where your skill keeps you breakeven until you hit your rush of random BS.

    Nothing beats flopping quads while dropping a duece!
  26. #26
    sarbox68's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chopper
    "WHO DO YOU THINK SENT THE POLICE, THE BOAT and THE HELICOPTER?"
    lolz... god with a helicopter....
  27. #27
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chopper
    man in flood, told to get to higher ground said, "nah, my God will protect me. i aint leavin'."

    flood gets higher, man moves stuff upstairs. man gets told to leave and says, "nah, my God will protect me. i aint leavin'."

    flood gets to roof. man is on top of his house. helicopter comes and tells man to get in. he says, "my God will protect me."

    and, drowns. he gets to heaven and asks God why he wasnt saved, and God replies...

    "WHO DO YOU THINK SENT THE POLICE, THE BOAT and THE HELICOPTER?"

    sorry, spoon. i dont know how you live around the bible beaters. using God as an excuse to remain stupid is such a cop-out.
    It's all good. I am regularly buttfucking his daughter, after all.
  28. #28
    Chopper's Avatar
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    that one made me laugh. fo reelz.
    LHE is a game where your skill keeps you breakeven until you hit your rush of random BS.

    Nothing beats flopping quads while dropping a duece!
  29. #29
    I hear ya bros.....I'm in MF'n Tennessee. It's about as RED as possible here. But, I have a good cirlce of BLUE friends and we had a good party Tuesday night with much drinking and revelling in the moment. Kinda like the recent SouthPark episode. HaHAHA
  30. #30
    lol...
  31. #31
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow
    Quote Originally Posted by Chopper
    man in flood, told to get to higher ground said, "nah, my God will protect me. i aint leavin'."

    flood gets higher, man moves stuff upstairs. man gets told to leave and says, "nah, my God will protect me. i aint leavin'."

    flood gets to roof. man is on top of his house. helicopter comes and tells man to get in. he says, "my God will protect me."

    and, drowns. he gets to heaven and asks God why he wasnt saved, and God replies...

    "WHO DO YOU THINK SENT THE POLICE, THE BOAT and THE HELICOPTER?"

    sorry, spoon. i dont know how you live around the bible beaters. using God as an excuse to remain stupid is such a cop-out.
    It's all good. I am regularly buttfucking his daughter, after all.
  32. #32
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow
    It's all good. I am regularly buttfucking his daughter, after all.
    Results oriented
    gabe: Ive dropped almost 100k in the past 35 days.

    bigspenda73: But how much did you win?
  33. #33
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pelion
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow
    It's all good. I am regularly buttfucking his daughter, after all.
    Results oriented
    I think my sample size is big enough to suffice.
  34. #34
    swiggidy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow
    I think my sample size is big enough to orifice.
    FYP
    (\__/)
    (='.'=)
    (")_(")
  35. #35
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    That was clever
  36. #36
    this thread got great in the last few posts
  37. #37
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow
    It's all good. I am regularly getting buttfucked by his daughter, after all.
    FYP
  38. #38
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by XxStacksxX
    Meh.. Looks good to me. No spelling or grammatical errors that I'm aware of.
    entervine
    :facepalm:
  39. #39
    spoonitnow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jyms
    Quote Originally Posted by spoonitnow
    It's all good. I am regularly getting buttfucked by his daughter, after all.
    FYP
    That too.

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