'Cause I'm busted. For sh--s and giggles, here's the last hand:

I get KQs in BB and check preflop. That's right, I don't raise. Scared people off too many times. I'm going to flop a hand and take their money.

the flop is 5 7 Q. Top pair and lovely overcard. I bet a little and get a modest raise, which I call and no one else does.

I check and call the rest of the way. The other guy's bets eventually add up to the sum of my pitiful little stack.

He has 55 and I'm history.