Help jump-starting my game

[dzeanah]

I've been playing poker for all of 3 weeks now, and love it so far. I'm only playing on pokerstars.net right now, only on playmoney tables, and (now) only in tournaments and SNGs.

I'm finding it's not that uncommon to make the money in SNGs there at my current skill level, but playing the freeroll games it seems like I'm up against a whole 'nother breed of player. I'm looking to emulate a lot of what I'm seeing, but it's not as easy as it looks. I've got a number of poker books already (and more on the way from Amazon), but reading and applying are different skills entirely. Applying what you understand incompletely seems to cause problems (see below).

So, a couple of questions:

1. How do you decide how much aggression is too much aggression? When does playing aggressively turn into playing recklessly? I ask because I've run into situations where I'll be playing assertively and getting most of the board to fold to a decent hand, but someone who's got position on me will call my bets and end up with a monster. Linked question: how do you get information on the strength of the hands of players who have position on you?
2. When playing online, how do you judge whether an aggressive SOB happens to be holding a hand? I run into a situation where I can reraise an over-the top bet, get a call, reraise again after the flop (possibly all-in) and get them to back down. Then later, the same behavior from the opponent gets me to bet into them and they'll show 2222A at the showdown. I know online makes it hard to read folks, but there's got to be something else I can look for.
3. How do you tell if you just got beat legitimately, or if you got outplayed? Last night I ran across someone who was the archetypal tight/aggressive player, and we ended up with half of our stacks involved in a hand that was won by 2 pair in the early rounds of a freeroll tourney. He had a matching hand, but with a higher kicker. Is that poker, or is there a lesson to be learned from aggressively betting top 2 pair with a low kicker (or to be learned from limping on the BB with a hand you wouldn't normally play?) What if, instead, it's losing with your Q-high flush to a K-high (the one card that could beat you happened to be in play)? Is that worth betting and just absorbing the beats, or am I being reckless?
4. An overly aggressive a-hole sent me on tilt last night. I understood his play (bets of 20x the BB when he saw relatively tight players like me find a hand they liked, reraising with 4-6 offsuit because he can with a stack 8 times the average, etc) but the celebratory remarks after knocking someone out were too much on top of the stress of being raised half my stack when I finally got a group 2/3 hand that might have been worth playing. What's the fix here (other than the emotional bits I'll need to work through on my own)? Play uber-tight and go all-in on the right hand (maybe check-raise him to get him to commit), or say screw tight and play reckless for a bit, not being able to read the other dude at all and potentially playing into a monster?

[Irisheyes]

The questions you are asking here are huge. Really, its like asking 'Could someone please describe how to win at poker'.

I think the best thing for you to do is get $50 together and start playing 2NL at Stars. Get some experience and keep hanging around here reading and posting questions. Thats the best way to learn.

Play money is nothing like real money. The standard of play is completely different, even at the really small stakes.

So, deposit some money play a load of hands. You sound like a thinking player so I reckon you'll learn pretty quickly.

[TLR]

The answer to most of your questions is experience
1. Too much agression is totally related to the table you play in and the way the other players relate to it. If you see that you are called a lot when you mediocare hands you put too much agression
2. Maniacs get their share of godo hands as well, they just cant hold on to their money. Winning against them requires patience and good hands
3. You have to analyze each hand on its own and figure out if is was a bad beat or not. The cases you descibes means that you played weak hands that you probably should not play

[Miffed22001]

Selective aggression. With experience you will know when to be aggressive and when not to be. Looking for signs of weakness takes time to learn.
Tight is right. Not al players are rocks but this wouldnt be a popular saying if it wasnt true. Use it first before you play looser poker.
Reading is also based on experience but make sure you use the 4 levels of thinking (think these are right!)
what do i have
what does my opp have
what does my opp think i have
what does my opp think that i think he has

Also, poker is a decision based game. You make the choice each time that provides the best ev over a long period (that includes mucking AJ/AQ to a reraise from a rock!) so thinking about getting outplayed, if you get your money in with the best hand and then lose either to a draw or a suckout/badbeat dont worry. You made the right choice! If you get the money in behind then you need to look at whay this is happening and change your style/thinking accordingly.
Loosing a stack with the queen high flush is not the greatest play imo. But if you lose it when it appears you have the opp beat then i guess thats fine. You only wnat to be stacked in unepected situations imo, you should eventually be able to learn when you need to be allin.
Lastly, ignore other players unless they give you info or you can make THEM tilt. Otherwise it doesnt matter that they make shitty moves because these are the guys you wan to play with long term. They WILL i promise make you money
Hope this helped in some way