Good Craigslist Post

[swiggidy]

http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/cas/800614324.html

[bigspenda73]

I lol'ed at least 3 times when reading it

[dick_pump]

We are looking for height-challenged female(s) (as in midget, dwarf, munchkin, little person, just don’t know the correct non-offensive terminology) to help run our fantasy football draft. We will be 10 males in a suite at the Mandalay Bay drafting for four hours on August 23th starting sometime in the late afternoon.

Your duties will be to make sure none of us run out of frosty beverages, to keep track of players taken on an oversized draft board (step stool included), and to wrestle under a glass table while either partially clothed or not clothed at all (this is why we would prefer more than one of you). Bonus points if you know something about football, know how to mix drinks, and enjoy making sure everyone is having a good time. We promise we will not degrade you by using your head for a coaster, nor will we expect any special favors as we value professionalism over anything.

Last year when I posted this ad we received an offer from a female who simply had no legs, which I determined to be cheating. So please, only true little people apply.

If interested, please respond by Friday. And don’t worry about bringing anything as we will supply beverages, glass table, and rainbow with pot of gold.


thats awsome!!!!!

[kingnat]

i c what u did there dick_pump.

[dick_pump]

what?

[will641]

lol height challenged.

[bigred]

Last year when I posted this ad we received an offer from a female who simply had no legs, which I determined to be cheating. So please, only true little people apply.

lol

[GatorJH]

Swig, I didn't think you played fantasy football.

[ATOTHEC101]

5 stars!

[mrhappy333]

one I found looking for a bicycle
[/quote]

[dick_pump]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/ldn/783766933.html


Originally Posted: Tue, 5 Aug 14:34 BST

HENCHMEN NEEDED

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Date: 2008-08-05, 2:34PM BST



20-30 henchmen needed for moderately-sized supervillain organisation with large expansion potential (fortresses built into geological structures, corruption of government officials, possible genesis of 'nemesis' vigilante). Electrical theme.

Applicants must be willing to learn new skills, including but not limited to operation of specialised 'lightning guns'. Applicants will also be required to wear specialised uniform when at work (functional rubber suits with my logo on front), except in cases where deception is required (posing as hostages in order to ambush vigilantes, etc).

Desired (but not necessarily required) in applicants:

-interesting deformations/obsessions/powers(?) giving rise to interesting nicknames (e.g. Claws, Pyro, Buzzsaw, and similar)
-unwavering loyalty
-being a corruptible government official
-ability to work as part of a close-knit team (unless interesting obsession is of the 'lone wolf' variety)
-grudge against any well-known vigilante
-flexible moral code

Equal opportunies employer. Both henchmen and femmes fatales absolutely welcome.

Great promotion opportunities - right-hand-man position constantly being unexpectedly opened. Would look good on any future supervillain resume/CV.

Send an email with details of any prior henchman work, or details of what is driving you to join the ranks of a supervillain organisation. Will reply to all serious applicants. Hope to hear from you, and with luck, welcome you into a rewarding and promising career!

- Jacque (The Zapper) Zerapi


Location: London, but planned worldwide expansion
Compensation: £20,000pa starting salary, with added commissions based around success of supervillain operations. Contracts negotiable depending on applicant's personal skills/powers.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 783766933

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[dick_pump]

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