I only found out today Mark. My mate saw him in Rhyl.


Albert Einstein didn't tell us that gravity warps spacetime, he told us gravity is warped spacetime. And he did explain why. He told us that the presence of energy distorts spacetime around it, creating valleys, which we interpret as straight lines in space curving around a central mass. We think we're going around the sun, but we're not, we're falling into the distorted spacetime its presence causes. Our orbit is an illusion. Time is going much, much slower on the surface of the sun, compared to here on Earth. So does that make the sun younger than the Earth? How does this make sense? Obviously the sun is older than the Earth. So the sun must be travelling through less spacetime to balance this lost time. If time is x4 slower at the surface of the sun compared to the surface of Earth, we need to travel through x4 as much spacetime as the sun to remain in its proximity. That's why we orbit the sun, because spacetime is distorted. We're not going around it, we're falling towards it, while it falls away from us at an equal rate. The rotating spiral of warped spacetime it leaves in its trail creates our orbit. We leave a rotating spiral of warped spacetime in our wake, which the Moon duly follows.

I'm just talking stoned shit. But it all makes sense to me. The only thing I haven't figured out yet is why the expansion of the universe is accelerating. Seems too easy to point at dark matter, I think that's a cop out, like we'll just make up some shit to explain what's happening. I haven't got tea because this mystery force is stopping me from actually making myself one. We'll call in antitea.