Select Page
Poker Forum
Over 1,292,000 Posts!
Poker ForumFTR Community

Best One Liners

Results 1 to 75 of 77

Threaded View

Previous Post Previous Post   Next Post Next Post
  1. #11
    Ragnar4's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Posts
    3,184
    Location
    Billings, Montana
    one I've been considering for myself.

    Download a bunch of the funniest "cellphone auto-correct fails"

    Then read the cell-phone autocorrects to your audience.

    Then give one liners off of what you just read.

    Some of my faves I've come up with.

    --Seriously, Why the fuck did Steve Jobs think the word "Dildo" or "Hymen" was something we need to auto-correct to? Was there a study done somewhere? "Sir, it turns out that 42% of all people using a cellphone are talking about Dildos" Well! We clearly need to autocorrect to include the word dildo! I'm a fucking genious!

    The first time you time you read one of the un-intentional incest texts, say something like "thank god she texted me that at the supper table and didn't say it to me, I'd have spit mashed potatoes 30 feet!"

    for one of the best ones... just look up at the audience... with an "are you fucking kidding me" type face, Toss the notecard away, don't make a smartass comment and move right on to the next card.

    --Do the same as above.. but do it before you read the card. Look at the card... look at your audience... look back at the card... throw it away... deadpan a few seconds of silence.. then read the next card.

    Let the unintentional humor carry you. A few smart ass zingers even short ones like "gee, thanks sis..." and women will throw their panties at you.
    Last edited by Ragnar4; 03-30-2011 at 12:06 AM.
    The Dunning–Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which unskilled individuals suffer from illusory superiority, mistakenly rating their ability much higher than average. This bias is attributed to a metacognitive inability of the unskilled to recognize their mistakes

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •