AFK

"The light which puts out our eyes is darkness to us.
Only that day dawns to which we are awake.
There is more day to dawn.
The sun is but a morning star."

-Walden, Henry David Thoreau

1st

Good luck on your journey.

Gl sir, just read ur post in ur last blog/op.

Getting your head in the right place to succeed is everything man. Self honesty is the first step and I'm glad you're there already.

Gl Sir!

Getting your head in the right place to succeed is everything man. Self honesty is the first step and I'm glad you're there already.

Gl Sir!

It is still September for 20 minutes or so for me as I begin this, and I am going to end the last session of the month on a somewhat low note. All I'll say is that I ended the session down, but with lots of hope. I learned a little about myself and emotional control, or my lack thereof, but I am positive my lack of control did not further contribute to my losses. Hopefully I can run a little better vs. the cadre of whales I am encountering at 100NL in October. 100NL is truly much easier than 50NL imo. All I can really do is hope, and wait for the cards to fall my way. I still have a long way to go...

Oh, and some October Goals:

-Play more poker. I don't want to have a hands goal, but just to get the time in I want to while getting better.
-Review the prior session in totality before playing a new one.
-Read this new book I ordered on meditation. See what comes of it.

And also,

-I deeply respect the people in this community, and must say that I do not approve of the direction in which it appears to be headed. I'm not sure if there's anything I can do about it personally, but we as a group can change our collective attitudes for the better IMO.

I have a feeling this OP is gonna bring nothing but great things. Illfavor is gonna pwn. GL sir!

I have some thoughts to outline.

Doubt is something that has a profound impact on my life, and I suspect it affects others in similar ways. It is my belief that those who "soar" through the stakes are those with either the intuitive ability or necessary experience to play without doubt. I'm not meaning flawless play, but rather they have a confidence in their execution of this rather simplistic game that allows them to remove themselves from the actual enormity of it all.

Doubt, like all criticisms, should serve as an enabler. I must both be allowed and allow ourselves to grow as players when facing doubt. I, considering the stakes most I play, am my own greatest opponent. Obviously, my doubt stems from my unfamiliarity with any number of situations, but I think more importantly so it is the result of something deeper. I believe I have a wholly unsophisticated thought process when it comes to this game, and thusly am lacking in the necessary critical thinking skills to get to where I would like to be. I'll do it simply:

Every poker situation is a combination of the same factors that are constantly manipulated by a number of variables. Hands can probably be viewed as only a function of Range and the most appropriate Response. These are rather vague terms but it's nothing no one has talked about before. In fact, Range and Response are so closely linked that they rely on each other and I cannot successfully consider one without the other. Since I play at 50 and 100NL, I can generally get by without too much deep concern for Range, rather just playing my own range and using the correct response. There really isn't much more to it than that, yet I seem to struggle so greatly with these two things. I think it's pretty clear that it is because of all the variables that go into any poker decision, all of which affect our ranges and responses. What variables ought we consider? Well, there are a shit-ton of them and a lot of great articles written about them, so do some homework. The important thing is, is that at any moment we always have a variable to consider, and how it impacts R&R.

My doubt stems from those gray areas where player tendencies (the variable most significant to range) are less well-defined, probably because I have not given his action enough thought. Our opponents don't generally think on a level where they attempt to manipulate our actions to best suit their ranges. People aren't really exploiting the Baluga Theorem at 25nl, but I would be still stacking off w/TP facing a c/r on the turn regardless. So we have villains who play completely transparently, yet we are not completely crushing the games. Why is this?!?!!?! Because I am my own worst friend and greatest enemy. I make any number of excuses for my mistakes, and often ignore them. I will review a set of hands and make what is essentially the same mistake four times in a row and now consider the true reason I made the mistake. My mind, which allows me to do everything I want, is also the greatest imposition to my success. This applies to our opponents as well. They are bad players, take bad lines, all because they don't know any better. They cannot help themselves...but sometimes neither can I.

The only thing that separates me from them is that my mistakes are more profitable than theirs.

I think the only way to remedy this problem is to categorically refine my thought process. I need to write it down. Review it. Understand where I am consistently messing up. For now, I'm going to enjoy some grapes and play some poker.

I'm unsure how to feel currently, as I simply don't have much time to play. I think the best response is to acknowledge my desire to play, and accept that I cannot.

If you had time to play, you wouldn't want to. Enjoy it.

Howdy, favor, I'm watching your op. I haven't been around FTR much in the last two months plus. I'd be interested in your thoughts on "where things seem to be headed." I've been around FTR for a long time, and it has peaks and valleys, sure. Just curious what you're seeing.

And glgl at 100nl.

Originally Posted by Robb

Howdy, favor, I'm watching your op. I haven't been around FTR much in the last two months plus. I'd be interested in your thoughts on "where things seem to be headed." I've been around FTR for a long time, and it has peaks and valleys, sure. Just curious what you're seeing.

And glgl at 100nl.

It's mostly a combination of some poor behavior on my part, the handling of the iopq banning, and the attitudes of some of the members of the site, new and old. I oftentimes get the impression that the forum is not as conducive to learning as it might ought be.

Played some 50NL HU, mostly because it's the format that best fits into my time contraints. Villain was a Maniac Fish-Reg type of guy. I think I had his betting patterns pretty well equated to his ranges throughout the match. I was working on trying to induce tilt (and did at one point, though he ran good for a few hands and de-tilted). I misplayed an absolute ton of hands, but the session review should be good. Some hands:

Like the second hand of the match. Good tone setter, lolz. I dunno about the sizing. My thoughts were, I didn't want to blow away any hands on the turn, and on the river there are just a ton of two pair hands to pay me off a lot.

$0.25/$0.5 No Limit Holdem
FullTiltPoker
2 Players
Hand Conversion Powered by weaktight.com

Stacks:
SB Hero ($50.25)
BB ftpfnopeaw ($50)

Pre-Flop: ($0.75, 2 players) Hero is SB
Hero raises to $1.50, ftpfnopeaw calls $1

Flop: ($3, 2 players)
ftpfnopeaw checks, Hero bets $2.50, ftpfnopeaw calls $2.50

Turn: ($8, 2 players)
ftpfnopeaw checks, Hero bets $5, ftpfnopeaw calls $5

River: ($18, 2 players)
ftpfnopeaw checks, Hero bets $15.50, ftpfnopeaw calls $15.50

Final Pot: $49
Hero shows

ftpfnopeaw shows


ftpfnopeaw wins $48.50 ( won +$24 )

Hero lost -$24.50

Preflop is probably the mistake in this hand. I needed to tighten my opening range a little but I didn't want to bc I had a fantastic read on a lot of his postflop play. For instance, he took this line with 3rd pair and 2nd pair as well as pure value.

$0.25/$0.5 No Limit Holdem
FullTiltPoker
2 Players
Hand Conversion Powered by weaktight.com

Stacks:
SB Hero ($139.25)
BB ftpfnopeaw ($82.50)

Pre-Flop: ($0.75, 2 players) Hero is SB
Hero raises to $1.50, ftpfnopeaw calls $1

Flop: ($3, 2 players)
ftpfnopeaw checks, Hero bets $2, ftpfnopeaw raises to $4.05, Hero calls $2.05

Turn: ($11.10, 2 players)
ftpfnopeaw bets $5, Hero calls $5

River: ($21.10, 2 players)
ftpfnopeaw bets $9.50, Hero calls $9.50

Final Pot: $40.10
Hero shows

ftpfnopeaw shows


ftpfnopeaw wins $39.60 ( won +$19.55 )

Hero lost -$20.05

This is myself making a bad series of plays and being embarrassed about it, and posting it because that's life

$0.25/$0.5 No Limit Holdem
FullTiltPoker
2 Players
Hand Conversion Powered by weaktight.com

Stacks:
SB Hero ($84.15)
BB ftpfnopeaw ($35.80)

Pre-Flop: ($0.75, 2 players) Hero is SB
Hero raises to $1.50, ftpfnopeaw calls $1

Flop: ($3, 2 players)
ftpfnopeaw checks, Hero bets $2, ftpfnopeaw raises to $4.05, Hero calls $2.05

Turn: ($11.10, 2 players)
ftpfnopeaw bets $5, Hero raises to $10, ftpfnopeaw goes all-in $30.25, Hero calls $20.25

River: ($71.60, 2 players, 1 all-in)

Final Pot: $71.60
Hero shows

ftpfnopeaw shows


ftpfnopeaw wins $71.10 ( won +$35.30 )

Hero lost -$35.80

I played this hand bad, in that I lost value. When he checks to turn, he doesn't have me beat ever, and probably isn't folding too often to a larger bet. River might just be an lolzeeboshove?

$0.25/$0.5 No Limit Holdem
FullTiltPoker
2 Players
Hand Conversion Powered by weaktight.com

Stacks:
SB Hero ($118.75)
BB ftpfnopeaw ($96)

Pre-Flop: ($0.75, 2 players) Hero is SB
Hero raises to $1.50, ftpfnopeaw calls $1

Flop: ($3, 2 players)
ftpfnopeaw checks, Hero bets $1.50, ftpfnopeaw raises to $6, Hero calls $4.50

Turn: ($15, 2 players)
ftpfnopeaw checks, Hero bets $9.50, ftpfnopeaw calls $9.50

River: ($34, 2 players)
ftpfnopeaw checks, Hero bets $29, ftpfnopeaw calls $29

Final Pot: $92
Hero shows

ftpfnopeaw shows


Hero wins $91.50 ( won +$45.50 )

ftpfnopeaw lost -$46

This was nice. He left after this hand, which was not nice.

$0.25/$0.5 No Limit Holdem
FullTiltPoker
2 Players
Hand Conversion Powered by weaktight.com

Stacks:
SB ftpfnopeaw ($44.30)
BB Hero ($167.60)

Pre-Flop: ($0.75, 2 players) Hero is BB
ftpfnopeaw raises to $1.50, Hero calls $1

Flop: ($3, 2 players)
Hero checks, ftpfnopeaw bets $1.35, Hero raises to $4, ftpfnopeaw raises to $13.50, Hero goes all-in $166.10, ftpfnopeaw goes all-in $29.30

Turn: ($211.90, 2 players, 2 all-in)

River: ($211.90, 2 players, 2 all-in)

Final Pot: $211.90
Hero shows

ftpfnopeaw shows


Hero wins $211.40 ( won +$43.80 )

ftpfnopeaw lost -$44.30

I played tired, and as I see it, as long as I am not making a lot of extremely costly mental errors, I can train my mind under more difficult conditions, play poker profitably, and be that much better when I'm on the ball. This is probably a mistake, but it's this or literally no poker for 4/7ths of the week. : /

Originally Posted by Illfavor

Originally Posted by Robb

Howdy, favor, I'm watching your op. I haven't been around FTR much in the last two months plus. I'd be interested in your thoughts on "where things seem to be headed." I've been around FTR for a long time, and it has peaks and valleys, sure. Just curious what you're seeing.

And glgl at 100nl.

It's mostly a combination of some poor behavior on my part, the handling of the iopq banning, and the attitudes of some of the members of the site, new and old. I oftentimes get the impression that the forum is not as conducive to learning as it might ought be.

Not sure if this will help, but I've been disillusioned with FTR at various times for various reasons. Short story, FTR is the best way for me to consistently improve at poker, so I'm not leaving (and hopefully not gettin' banned either!).

If you're interested, one time I got tired of the same old same old in the forums, so I started searching FTR for "classic" threads that could help when the current threads weren't what I needed. Here's a post on that:

Improving FTR: Get to work dammit

I learned tons from the "old" content, many of the best of which I linked in my operation thread (click link in my sig, scroll down to second post in thread for about 50 thread links together with a description of each). I still go back to some of those threads now that I understand poker better and learn even more.

Another time, I was slumping big time and didn't feel like I could contribute much in the forums because (a) I really did suck at poker and (b) people were losing respect for my input due to lack of success at the tables. So I started answering threads in the BC with links to "classic" threads, which led to the operation thread links.

Another time, I was really stung by someone who flamed me hard followed closely by being "called out" for sucking at pokerz, and I left FTR for a couple of days to cool down. I was really upset, but I sat back and thought about my game and realized that while the tone was harsh, the content of the flame was true. I started working hard on my game and made this post:

What to do when someone says you suck at poker.

You can follow as much of the story as you'd like from that link, but all the FTR regs (including the one who flamed me and the one who called me out) immediately started helping me out in the forums and on IRC. That low point led to the some of the best pokerz I've ever played and bankroll jump from ~300 to ~3k.

Sorry so much of my story has hijacked your thread, but I've learned two things. First, you get out of FTR as much as you put in LONG TERM, but in the short term sometimes we give (or take) more than other times. Second, it's just the internet. While I like to be respected and have fun joking around with the regs here, if someone disrespects me or rips me, so what? I don't even really know that person, and what they think only matters as much as I let it. So now I just try to contribute what I can and use FTR to help improve my game, and I don't worry too much about what others are doing.

Hope maybe some of that helps. BTW, I never got along with iopq, but I looked through his last 30 posts, saw the commune threads and was puzzled. I'm not sure I saw any good reason to ban him.

Robb, I will read that later when I am less tired and can give it propor attention.

This was originally a lengthy post about myself running bad, but that just doesn't do anyone any good. It's really surreal to realize that I might not be good enough to beat 50NL HU...Yet can beat 50NL FR for 3.5ptbbs over like a 100K hand sample lifetime. I'm just not good enough yet...for the sake of my roll, I need to stop trying right now. I have lost all of my profit from the last two months of poker playing HU and 6max, and that's not the best choice for me in terms of my poker career.

So, some rules:

-No playing when tired. Period. Just study or something. It's not worth it.
-Full Ring Only.
-No checking win/loss totals. I remember a period this summer when I didn't check them for a month, and while it wasn't my best month in terms of $$$ it was in terms of confidence.

I can pull through this. It's all about emotional control, and I know it! Wish me luck!

Good luck man. As soon as you ignore checking how much your up/down, everything just falls into place.

poker swongs, and that sucks some days - glglgl

"Patience is essential for any profound change."

-Bhante G, in "Mindfulness"

Player 1200 hands today, as I was off because it's the OU-Texas weekend (PRAY FOR MY SOONERS). Ran really weird/bad. At one point I was down 1.5 buyins, then I made 4 buyins back, and ended up less than a buyin. Pretty much got sucked out on by suited undercards in every 3bet pot I played, QQ<T9s (he called OOP) on a TT9 flop, AA<KJs on a JJ4 flop, etc. I played bad and ran bad and waahwaahwaah I love my life! Happy pokering fellas.

Humanity needs to quit defining things in terms of permanence, as the only sure thing in the universe is impermanence.

My parents discovered I play online poker and freaked. Things are really tense and complicated at the moment but I will survive.

write something called like, "a modest proposal" and have it be a persuasive essay about why they should be cool with you playing poker. It might not do anything at all, but it might just be amusing enough to work!

ok no, but gl ill

Hope things work out, good luck.

The essay thing is definitely a good idea imo. You need to logically let them see that their negative reaction is likely ignorant and based on nothing but shallow half sighted automatic prejudice.

Show them your HEM graph showing what you've won from poker overall. That coupled with the essay should work. I always find that whenever someone tries to claim poker is ethically wrong/bad/gambling/a fools game etc etc, I have a valid counter argument to smash whatever point they are trying to make.

Normally I'd say fuck it let them think what they want, but this is your parents so their opinion obviously matters. Make sure they have the correct one.

Took me a long time to learn that we can take the reigns of our lives whenever we choose. Every choice, however, has its respective outcomes. Your predicament brought to mind a poem by Phil Larkin...

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

Originally Posted by Illfavor

My parents discovered I play online poker and freaked. Things are really tense and complicated at the moment but I will survive.

why did they freak?
it's kinda understandable, so figure out what part of poker most scares them and then talk to them about it - carefully. Especially bankroll management, once people realise you can't go broke and that you aren't going to be depositing money they tend to recognise that it's a cheaper form of recreation than, say, golf, and that it may even be profitable.

I'm not sure where you're at with profits and withdrawals, but I know for my folks the fact that I'd withdrawn enough to pay back everything I'd put into poker and was playing on pure profits with no intentions to ever deposit again made things cool.

Not that they freaked, but they were concerned.

al yell- Thanks for the poem. Poetry tends to speak to me and that one made me smile.

daven- They freaked for a number of reasons. Firstly, I'm a student and don't have a job. I'm a music major and in school to practice, and to them, I can't afford to be gambling my money away. They also think that I've taken money from them (around $900) to play with, which isn't true, but I haven't been able to discuss these facts with them personally so they understand. Also, my father despises gambling (though he plays the lottery) and doesn't understand my form of low-risk application of favorable edges/gambling. I plan to take the most careful route I can, but I can't really explain to them that I've made around $6K in lifetime profit because they will force me to remove it all.

bjsaust- I have put around $250 lifetime into poker through books/software/initial deposits, and have more than made enough to cover for that, but for them I'm not really sure it's about that.

We're talking on Friday and I'm going to attempt to explain things, so wish me luck sirs!

Good luck man! My folks are ok with me playing, so long as I'm not losing. Once I showed them my lifetime graph and explained BRM to them, they chilled out a lot. They don't even freak when I go the casino anymore.

Life/Poker Update

I'm having to withdraw $1150 of my online roll to convince my parents I'm not playing anymore. That will leave me about $3500 to restart anew at 50NL FR on FTP! I'm pretty happy with how our talk went, but I will be forced to play without their knowledge until I get enough volume consistently that I make enough money that they can't really say anything about it.

This is my final week of being extremely busy, as I have my senior music recital this Saturday, along with sending all of graduate school applications. This means starting Sunday I should have the time to grind the 2K hands a day I would like to.

I've determined in these last few weeks that my WR in ptbbs is about the same when playing twice as many tables (6 --> 12) so I'll be at least 10-tabling every time I fire them up from now on. There isn't enough action when I'm 6/8 tabling and I find my mind wanders and that's hard to recover from without subtracting even more focus to meditate. I might begin taking short meditation breaks if I notice my focus lacking, like sitting out an orbit.

Reading the posts of the older, better, "elite" of FTR is just really great for me. They are tremendous players and all of their posts imply a breadth of knowledge that I have not yet attained

Thanks to all of those who care and it's about time I got back on the damn horse!

It's so weaksauce that you have to hide playing from your parents, but you gotta do what you gotta do i suppose.

You've got my well wishes. You have been a class act towards me and have helped out when I need it.

As for your parents, just wait it out a bit.
I was married, out of the house when my parents heared about it and my Mom, (being a regular overprotective Mom) was all nervous that I would get hooked, and bow thousands of dollars and have no food for the kids....
After a bit she shut up about it. (it also helps that I am out of the house and married).

After words my wife and I went on a trip with my parents, We were driving to Minneapolis and I asked if they could detour off the highway so that I could play poker at the Shooting Star Casino. That made her eyes boggle, it was great to watch her freak.....

Originally Posted by Illfavor

Life/Poker Update

I'm having to withdraw $1150 of my online roll to convince my parents I'm not playing anymore. That will leave me about $3500 to restart anew at 50NL FR on FTP! I'm pretty happy with how our talk went, but I will be forced to play without their knowledge until I get enough volume consistently that I make enough money that they can't really say anything about it.

could you say something like "i'll withdraw everything except for $200"? and then convince them you'll play with that money only - just magic that it increases to 3.5k so quickly, and you wouldn't have to hide playing? just a thought.

Originally Posted by daven

Originally Posted by Illfavor

Life/Poker Update

I'm having to withdraw $1150 of my online roll to convince my parents I'm not playing anymore. That will leave me about $3500 to restart anew at 50NL FR on FTP! I'm pretty happy with how our talk went, but I will be forced to play without their knowledge until I get enough volume consistently that I make enough money that they can't really say anything about it.

could you say something like "i'll withdraw everything except for $200"? and then convince them you'll play with that money only - just magic that it increases to 3.5k so quickly, and you wouldn't have to hide playing? just a thought.

Nah it's pretty simple. They think I have $900 on line from a deposit I made after withdrawing too much to buy something and want it off, plain and simple. I can never play internet poker while they provide my living, in their opinion. Luckily that ends in 7 months or so but until then I'm livin' a lie! lol.

I still play, FYI!

I've been playing a bunch of 25nl 6max on FTP. I've been running pretty atrociously bad (losing 1/2 of my AI pots when at least an 80% favorite) but still winning at a good clip. The "Aggression" of 6M has been easy to adjust to, and I'm like 8/9 tabling without much effort. It's just ridiculously easy to get it AI good vs. these donks. I'm going to play around 10K more hands here then move up to 50, in an attempt to make $1K this monf.

Wat:

$0.10/$0.25 No Limit Holdem
FullTiltPoker
5 Players
Hand Conversion Powered by weaktight.com

Stacks:
UTG sevendeuc24 ($39.29)
CO LacerdaBSB ($26.30)
BTN BarnholdtA ($6.75)
SB Hero ($25)
BB bibiss05 ($109.99)

Pre-Flop: ($0.35, 5 players) Hero is SB
1 fold, LacerdaBSB raises to $1, 1 fold, Hero raises to $3.50, 1 fold, LacerdaBSB calls $2.50

Flop: ($7.25, 2 players)
Hero bets $5, LacerdaBSB calls $5

Turn: ($17.25, 2 players)
Hero goes all-in $16.50, LacerdaBSB calls $16.50

River: ($50.25, 2 players, 1 all-in)

Final Pot: $50.25
LacerdaBSB shows a flush, Ace high

Hero shows a flush, King high


LacerdaBSB wins $47.74 (net +$22.74)

Hero lost $25

$0.10/$0.25 No Limit Holdem
FullTiltPoker
5 Players
Hand Conversion Powered by weaktight.com

Stacks:
UTG Hero ($25)
CO hvchvc ($22.05)
BTN fishjiggy ($80.79)
SB evilpandy ($39.27)
BB mastermind66655 ($25.35)

Pre-Flop: ($0.35, 5 players) Hero is UTG
Hero raises to $1, hvchvc raises to $3.35, 3 folds, Hero raises to $9, hvchvc goes all-in $22.05, Hero calls $13.05

Flop: ($44.45, 2 players, 1 all-in)

Turn: ($44.45, 2 players, 1 all-in)

River: ($44.45, 2 players, 1 all-in)

Final Pot: $44.45
Hero shows a pair of Sixes

hvchvc shows a pair of Sixes


Hero wins $42.23 (net +$20.18)

hvchvc lost $22.05

EV positive. Yum.

My school, the University of Oklahoma, had a Concerto Competition today. I was selected as one of the winners of said competition!!! Hooray for good life news to supplement online winningz/losses. I'll play with the orchestra next semester, so that's nice. Hurrah!

yeeeeeeeea u pwn life. now get ur ass back at the tables

Played some hands tonight. Made lots of $EV$, no actual $$$. Lost 4 buyins to 4 outs or less on the turn or river in 3bet pots, one of them 200 deep vs. a drooler. It is so amazingly easy to get it in good at 25nl.

FTP apparently wants to give me free manies so I have $400 in bonus to clear in 1 month, which is really easy at 50nl+. Gotta head back into the (full)ring for a bit then I'll hop back on over to 6m.

Yea yea yea if I play enough hands the endless suckouts even out. I always quit 6m because I always start out running really stupid bad and this is not any freaking different. I'll stick it out.

We are all extremely lucky. We all have this tremendous luxury of having internet, more food than we could possibly waste, and essentially the ability to do whatever it is we want. Don't take anything for granted, and realize that even the worst of times are probably still better than what someone else is dealing with. There are things to find comfort in everywhere, so just look for them.

I have to rebuild. My schedule has finally calmed down, and I can now put some hands in. The BR is still decent and I still have the will to play. So I will. My plan:

December has 31 days in it. Two of those days, the obvious ones (Xmas and NYE), I will not be playing most probably. The rest of those days, I would like to play at least 1K hands. That should be a 30K hand month, which is something I am in desperate need of. With any luck I can increase the volume next month and actually get my BR goals realized.

<m2m> nice gl

Sometimes I'm playing well and plays like this come out:

$0.25/$0.50 Deep No Limit Holdem
FullTiltPoker
8 Players
Hand Conversion Powered by weaktight.com

Stacks:
UTG alphafemme ($185.45)
UTG+1 tpap11 ($113.40)
MP1 geranmego ($23.70)
MP2 3usinessAsUsual ($152.95)
CO Yeachanee ($50)
BTN Tsutsui ($79.25)
SB jwesbro ($50.25)
BB Hero ($50.75)

Pre-Flop: ($0.75, 8 players) Hero is BB
alphafemme raises to $2, 6 folds, Hero calls $1.50

Flop: ($4.25, 2 players)
Hero checks, alphafemme bets $2.25, Hero raises to $7.50, alphafemme folds

Final Pot: $14

Hero wins $13.60 (net +$4.10)

alphafemme lost $4.25

And it gives me something to think about. I essentially don't want to get barreled off my hand, and that flop is one of the best to bluff at vs. an UTG opener, so I turned muh hand into bruff. I don't really think there's going to be a change for a vbet here, but it might be better to call/call/fold or something?

I wonder what his range is here...He's like a 30/5 passive fish:

$0.25/$0.50 No Limit Holdem
FullTiltPoker
7 Players
Hand Conversion Powered by weaktight.com

Stacks:
UTG Hero ($52.95)
UTG+1 Great Scot1 ($50.30)
MP czarek1986 ($21.60)
CO hendog1 ($15.50)
BTN blwwitt ($34.70)
SB repoman114 ($38.75)
BB Smash25 ($21.85)

Pre-Flop: ($0.75, 7 players) Hero is UTG
Hero raises to $1.75, 5 folds, Smash25 calls $1.25

Flop: ($3.75, 2 players)
Smash25 bets $3.75, $3.75 to Hero ($51.2)?

In the midst of large downswing in a very small number of hands. Messing with psyche. Have forgotten all of my Mindfulness techniques. Care too much.

Trying to turn my entire life around, one thing at a time. Picking poker and exercise for right now. Exercise working well atm.

Have $300 in bonus to clear in 13 days, and am strongly considering 20bbing it at 50nl/100 to clear it. (please someone convince me otherwise lol, though I may have no choice.)

Am terrible player and have no confidence.

Mmm bacon...Cannot possibly be overrated.

Keep your head up bud, you're still leaps and bounds above where I am.

I can honestly attest to the importance of a good quality of life when it comes to success in poker. That's why meditation (i do it too) and exercise go to well with poker. There's nothing to cure tilt like a good lift and or run at the gym. It's almost like you're punishing yourself for lack of control and poor play except it is good for you. You gotta just find a real balance between it all.
Too much poker leads to poor play so make sure you get your workouts in on the reg. It's vital to both yours and your br's health

An update on my poker career:

-I played no more then 40,000 hands from August to December. 40K.. Made money when I played, but I am on one of the most challenging career paths that exists (in North America, at least.) It requires an enormous amount of my time, but that's the dedication I have to put towards it.

-I should probably be taking shots at 200nl by now, but with my withdrawal and just ridiculously low volume, there isn't really anything I could do about it. I'm well-rolled for 100NL, and should be moving up very soon for good. I guess I am disappointed, but I can't really be. I have made lots of money without much effort, and that's pretty rewarding.

-I love to play the game, and want to get in more volume, but I'm just not sure I have the time. I have perhaps the most important three months of my life thus far coming up, in which I have 5 auditions, two competitions and a solo performance with my college orchestra, and that's a tremendous amount of pressure to rise to. Given this, it's difficult for me to clearly delineate a goal for the year. I know I want to 5x my bankroll by July, which really isn't that much of an accomplishment, but I must find the time to play the hands. I think it's something like 400K hands at a measly 2ptbbs at 100nl to do it, which I know I am more than capable of.

-I don't plan to overload myself, so here's some simple goals:

-20K hands in January. I have 5K already, so this should be attainable.
-15K hands in February. This is the month from hell, but this should be attainable.
-40K hands in March. I have done this w/no effort before.
-80K hands in May. School ends early in the month, hit it hard.
-120K hands in June. This will be a giant test.
-60K hands the first two weeks of July, before my big move to whatever school I'm attending next...

Well, there's a general plan. Who knows wtf will happen!

Played some 100nl, pretty much refused that an unknown could be repping 4 combos and lost a stack, lost another flip in a 5bet pot AKs<66 (Will be getting used to some drastically different ranges) and generally just played poorly. I learned a lot though, so that's great.

I'm sure were I to look back through my blog posts there would be a few words about me wanting to switch to 6m, doing so, then moving back because I ran really bad. Well, I've tried it again, with essentially the same result. In the past it would be a combination of running bad + adjusting really poorly, but now I'm thinking and my HH reviews show it's running bad (i.e., being a loser w/AA and with sets in 3bet pots.) I know I need to give it a good 50K hands before making any semblance of a decision about it, but for the first 5K I can't win a pot and it's just discouraging. That's my main problem. Negative reinforcement for positive plays is just so fucking strange.

Anyhoo, gonna go work out with my gf today, I have been eating better, and I'm really happy with myself and my life. Teh monies will come some time.

Originally Posted by Illfavor

Negative reinforcement for positive plays is just so fucking strange.

Anyhoo, gonna go work out with my gf today, I have been eating better, and I'm really happy with myself and my life. Teh monies will come some time.

That's what makes poker such an ugly (and beautiful) game. But as you said, the monies will come in time.

As for working out and eating better, DO IT! GOGOGO!

Thanks man. I'm hangin in there.

I just found this hand in sesh review and thought it was worth a tremendous lol. Literally the easiest check I've had all day:

$0.25/$0.50 No Limit Holdem
FullTiltPoker
6 Players
Hand Conversion Powered by weaktight.com

Stacks:
UTG ETNA44000 ($8.75)
UTG+1 fabricek ($45.40)
CO Hero ($59.65)
BTN Derbster1 ($50.25)
SB jg7u ($68.65)
BB siogyn ($50)

Pre-Flop: ($0.75, 6 players) Hero is CO
1 fold, fabricek calls $0.50, Hero calls $0.50, 1 fold, jg7u calls $0.25, siogyn checks

Flop: ($2, 4 players)
jg7u checks, siogyn bets $1.50, 1 fold, Hero raises to $7.50, jg7u folds, siogyn calls $6

Turn: ($17, 2 players)
siogyn checks, Hero bets $14, siogyn calls $14

River: ($45, 2 players)
siogyn checks, Hero checks

Final Pot: $45
Hero shows

siogyn shows four of a kind, Sevens


siogyn wins $42.75 (net +$20.75)

Hero lost $22
jg7u lost $0.50
fabricek lost $0.50

Sigh. Did a in-depth session review today and I'm just appalled at how much value I'm missing. $9 here, $5 there, and it adds up to like 50bbs that I just left out there in spots that weren't as thin as I had hoped when I checked. Time to drop a few tables and focus on playing well, since there are so few opportunities to valuebet large amounts.

So, a life update:

As some of you know, I'm a classical musician. This month of February is a really intense and important one for me with 5 graduate school auditions, so obv I'm just taking poker off completely. No FTP, no IRC, no nuthin. My gf and I are trying to get into the same school, so that's a lot of added stress. (FWIW, we've taken two and already been accepted to one school and will hear about the other soon). That being said, I have handled my stress pretty well and generally happy with my life.

I haven't played a hand in about a month and I'm cool with that. I'm having to withdraw a little bit of funds for a trip to the northeast, then I'll be back at the tables March 1st, hoping to get better, move up, and grind my way to a lot of money over a measured distance. I would really just like to put in hands and get better, and not worry about the money mostly.

Oh hello there poker blogaments...What has happened since I saw you?

Life success stories:
1. Got my college degree.
2. Got into my top grad school choice with a teaching fellowship+ living stipend.
3. Been living well, helping my gf deal with her recent depression diagnosis and generally had lots of fun. I also discovered I greatly enjoy ice cream based drinks, which I know makes me a pussy but w/e Pink Squirrel ftw.

Poker success stories:
1. Withdrew my entire roll offline in late March. Not sure this is a success, but w/e.
2. Made 10 buyins at 1/2 live in ~ 30 hours of play.
3. Re-depositing my roll with a tremendous new focus and noise-canceling earphones.

Some June goals later!

congrats on the degree sir, that alone is quite an accomplishment - though I see you are pursuing further education which is an even greater accomplishment, so best of luck to you.

welcome back to poker land.

whoop whoop, welcome back and goodluck

Originally Posted by Illfavor

Life success stories:
1. Got my college degree.
2. Got into my top grad school choice with a teaching fellowship+ living stipend.
3. Been living well, helping my gf deal with her recent depression diagnosis and generally had lots of fun. I also discovered I greatly enjoy ice cream based drinks, which I know makes me a pussy but w/e Pink Squirrel ftw.

congrats on awesome dude

nh Illfavor, you can't pwn pokers if you can't pwn life. GL geting back to grinding.

Can't really say much for goals ATM as FTP won't let me deposit a large amount until 6/8 because I've never used eChecks before...so I have $100 online and am rocking out the 10NLol. Should be back to 50nl some time early next week and then on to 100nl from there. I plan on getting in about 5K hands of 5nl and 10K of 50 before making the move up to 100. My total BR is something like $5400 so I'm well-rolled for 1-dizzle just need to remember the online game.

It's funny how poorly the live 1/2 players play. The transition from 1/2 live to 10nl is pretty much seemless, which is just lol. In fact, there are more 10nl players with some idea of starting hand req's than the live players. Anyhoo, a little chart type thingy:

10NL---XX hands until I can get my roll online for 25nl.
25NL---5K hands
50NL---10K hands
100NL---

JFC I'm so terrible. I literally feel like in the 40 total hours of playing poker I've had since February I've completely forgotten about ranges, adjustments...meh..Like, playing live probably accentuated my problems because the players are all transparent and there is very little thinking or adjusting to do. (This is of course not true, but that's unfortunately how I approached the games.) Combine that with the total crushing of the games I did and that's a recipe for extremely poor poker play.

Luckily this is nothing a lot of study can't get me on the path to fixing.

Blazed through the 5K of 25nl at like 9bb/100 and am moving on to 50nl. I also played some Rush Poker which is quite...interesting. My HUD cant update quickly enough to give me any info so it's a little more difficult..and while it was quite gratifying to play so many hands, it's really not what's best for me currently.

I sat down and applied ISF's to some post flop situations against nits (easy stuff) that I'll try and type up later and see if I can get some further input. Whenever poker seems like a grind, it's probably because the player doesn't have enough of an understanding of what the villains range is, and they aren't properly exploiting the shit out of them. People all play really really bad, and there's no reason I can't be crushing whatever level I apply myself at.

so this one time, in bandcamp

weaktight | Hand | KTo - $0.25/$0.50 No Limit Holdem

Jam river riiiiite!?!!?!?!?

What fucking sucks is I knew he didn't have TP and I just didnt pull the fucking trigger

I just misplayed that hand so many ways

nah, wasn't so bad
like, your read about his range was right (weak), just not his tendencies (station). River was interesting, dunno if he would have folded...

That very same guy just called a 4bet w/JJ and obviously spiked the J on the flop obv.

So I just had what was perhaps my most illuminating session of poker ever. There were three hands were I literally had my opponents hand range nailed and just completely owned them in one way or another. I also made many mistakes in these hands and it ultimately cost me money. This understanding of ranges lead to a tremendous level of confidence in my reads and plays. I can attribute this insight to a fair amount of study I had done preceding my session and my greater willingness to actually think while playing.

I also discovered that I still have issues with tilt. There was a 10 minute period after losing a big hand where I simply couldnt control myself emotionally. I berated a player for it. It was embarrassing and I'm even embarrassed to admit it. I later apologized to the player because I felt like a fool. I was a fool. Being successful is really just the dedication to constantly be improving in your craft, and I feel as though I learned new things about both poker and myself today.

So, for next time:

Let's not auto-pilot, eh? 4 tables max pls. kthx
If you're starting to tilt, walk away. The tables will, barring legislation, always be there.

Been playing some RUSH poker bc it's just SO FUCKING INTENSE!

Joking aside, it seems profitable, though the fact that I haven't won a pot where I got allin preflop is discouraging. Like 0-2 w/AA, 0-2 w/KK and it took me 4 times to realize that apparently you can't get alin profitably with QQ even if it's a 40bb stack. HE STILL HAS AA EVERY. Clearly a massive sample size here.

Mmk worst day of poker ever for me in terms of buyins lost. Felt pretty good about them all too (besides that sick feeling you have when you know it's KK vs AA...) 10NL for awhile, packin ~ 600 buyins.

And teh hits keep comin...Garph soon (PT3 for Mac!!!)

Just. Can't. Win.

Today my downswing hit a personal best 20buyins across 100-10nl. This is in only the last 35K hands or so, the majority of it happening at 50nl, a stake I beat for 3ptbbs for quite awhile before moving up to 100 last summer, then moving back down after making a large withdrawal (cursed imo). All 35K hands have taken place since January, because lol that's how fucking busy I am these days so I avg. 5K hands a monf. Anyways, I'm looking to rebound from this downswing (which thankfully was mitigated by timely bonuses and RB, essentially leaving me BE for 35K) and get back into the grinding groove. I'm seriously looking at poker as a semi-pro thing this next school year, basically because I have ~4 hours every day I can cleanly dedicate to playing and with my school stipend I really only need to make like 1K a month to live pretty well for the avg. college student. Making 1K a month, even at 50NL, is something I am more than capable of. I should probably just do it then.

Doom/gloom aside, I played 25nl today because I felt really confident in my game and when you're running bad it there's really nothing you can do otherwise. I played well, made a few buy-ins and generally felt good about what I was doing. Highlights of the day include getting 5bet shoved on bvb by a reg w/A9s while I held AK and later 5bet shoving vs. a super LAG w/55 and rivering teh set vs. his AA. I'm gonna do some HH review and study 3betting ranges and possible coldcalling some tomorrow.

#2/ISF's blog is pretty awesome and honestly how can I ever expect to be anything in this game if I don't play more hands and review more HHs?

25nl is going well. The regs are simply horrific. Running like 19/16 with a 49% ATC minraising from the button and 3x from the CO.

Ffffffuuuuuuuuu