Dear 21-year-old Penneywize,

You suck at poker. You failed to capitalize on the "Golden Age" of online poker, which would last for, arguably, another 18 months from the time of the first post in this thread. I am disappointed in you.

I could be a millionaire by now, but I'm not, all because of you. Please fuck off and stop sucking at everything. Did you ever consider that your 6-years-older self would disapprove of everything you did? No? Well that's just short-sighted bullshit.

Here's a list of all your "accomplishments" over the next 6 years.

- Started, but didn't yet finish, university (go you!).
- Worked a middling / decent office job in operations management, and later accounting, for 5 and one half years.
- Quit said job, apparently this is your future proudest accomplishment.
- Had several girlfriends of varying quality.

Wow, that's literally it. Notice what's not on this list:

- Became a millionaire.
- Became everyone's favourite person in the world.
- Fucked tons of hot bitches, all of whom eventually had their fragile hearts broken by you.

So here's the deal. From now on, I'm not going to repeat 21-year-old Penneywize's mistakes. Going to fuck some shit up, etc.

(In b4 33-year-old Penneywize posts his utter disappointment at 27-year-old Penneywize's lack of accomplishments)