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Hi Vinland, welcome to SNG land!!!
Let me explain why the scenario you discussed is a good thing.
There are 9 sets of money going into the pot for an SNG. Good players are not guaranteed to get a share of that this time, but they expect a greater share than bad players. If you have 9 perfect players, the house wins in the end.
This is because you'll all make perfect moves relative to your position and cards, and after you've all played a thousand games, everyone is back where they started, and the house has the rake.
When there are bad players doing silly things you win. I know it's hard to believe you win when you folded and the guy on your left doubles up with AA to 42s, but believe me you do. This is because now, there are only 8 people left sharing 9 people's money!!! DO you see. By folding crap and enjoying the show as silly people push and go bust with silly hands, you gain a bigger share of the pie without doing anything!!!
What is the other advantage of crazy loose players? When you have KK, AA, QQ, they give you money. Ok so 42s wins sometimes and you want to electrcute the goldfish, but mostly you win way more than just holding AA in a tight game will allow you to.
Ok so crazy players giving stacks to better players when you don't have cards may seem a disadvantage. It's not and the reason is mathematical. If you want me to explain the maths I will, but for now we'll leave that there (as most people fall asleep when I start writing maths).
To your other problems. Firstly fulksy's advice is right. Learning when it is and when it isn't mathematically correct to push or call and all in is the real SNG skill. If you don't have SNGPT or SNG wiz to help you post hands and me, Tai or one of the other regs will take a look and help you out.
Your comment "I have to loosen up and raise when I know they will call my raises" worries me. You need to change your mindset.
If you raise try to raise because with the hand you have, you want to play for more chips. I.e. raise like you want a call. If you don't want a call, and you're not short enough to be pushing, is it worth stealing the blinds? Are you raising KJs UTG because you think it's a good idea, or because HOH said that with an M of 15 we "open up" (wtf does open up even mean?)
You're worried about people calling your raises. If you have a better hand than someone who might call, do you want them to call? If they call your cbets 100% of the time, why are you still making them without a hand?
When you play a high buyin SNG, usually everyone is good. The 9 buyins are split fairly evenly, and the little differences between good players and fairly good players make the difference between winning and losing players. When you play a low buyin, when you are good, 4-5 players will kill themselves, you have an edge over the remaining players anyway so you share the 4-5 buyins they donate, and you get a larger percentage because you're better.
I suggest step one. Learn what the phrase ICM means and why it's important. Step 2. Post some hands and we'll help you out however necessary. Step 3. Accept or understand that everytime a donkey does something stupid and busts out you just made some money, even though you didn't gain any chips.
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