1: You need to b/f something like halfpot on river so that lots of worse hands will call but flushes will raise. As played, cry, cry more, cry more, roll around in your tears for a bit, make tear curry and cry in it a bit for extra spice, eat said curry and then throw up and cry in the puke and then fold.

2: cry, cry more, cry more, roll around in your tears for a bit, make tear curry and cry in it a bit for extra spice, eat said curry and then throw up and cry in the puke and then.. erm... fuck knows