Trump is the WWE and Mueller is The Undertaker

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10-01-2018, 09:42 AM
BananaStand

Take a look at this horse shit....

https://www.cnn.com/2018/10/01/polit...ent/index.html

The headline says "New Questions...."

yet, the article doesn't actually present any new questions. It seems to be taking issue with the R's insistence that the FBI probe be expedient and focused.

Who the hell is left that thinks the democrats are making any sense??

Dems: "We want the executive branch to investigate"
EB: "Ok We'll investigate"
Dems: "But we don't want the executive branch involved"
EB: "Ok well ask the senate judiciary committee to do it, they have all the same powers"
Dems: "No, too many republicans, we want the executive branch to do it"
EB: "Ok we'll do it"
Dems: "But we don't want the executive branch involved"
EB: "Ok well ask the senate judiciary committee to do it, they have all the same powers"
Dems: "No, too many republicans, we want the executive branch to do it"
EB: "Ok we'll do it"
Dems: "But we don't want the executive branch involved"
EB: "Ok well ask the senate judiciary committee to do it, they have all the same powers"
Dems: "No, too many republicans, we want the executive branch to do it"
EB: "Ok we'll do it"
Dems: "But we don't want the executive branch involved"
EB: "Ok well ask the senate judiciary committee to do it, they have all the same powers"
Dems: "No, too many republicans, we want the executive branch to do it"
EB: "Ok we'll do it"
10-01-2018, 09:45 AM
BananaStand

What the fucking hell????

Quote:

The latest White House gambit will also, once again, drag the FBI into the heat of the political battle in Washington -- an unfortunate pattern that has repeated itself over the last few years including with the Clinton email controversy, the Russia investigation and Trump's constant pressure on the bureau

The white house is dragging the FBI into the heat of political battle????

The white house is doing it...........????????

They the ones "dragging" the FBI...........???????????

Did CNN really just write that?
10-01-2018, 10:04 AM
BananaStand

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer

More on his character: the Clinton hearing, and "raunchy details", yet he cries when they apply a modicum of that treatment to him

He's not accused of anywhere near the same thing. Not even in the same universe.

The fact that you can take a factual account of the president of the united states getting down and dirty with his own intern, in the oval office and equate that with an alleged drunken teenage gropey horseplay is a better testament to your hypocrisy and demagoguery than anything I could have posted on my own.

That's so immensely preposterous I don't know how you stand yourself.
10-01-2018, 10:32 AM
OngBonga

Oh dear banana called poop a cunt.

Suppose I'd better do some modding.

Poop, don't goad banana while you wait to see if mojo bans him.

/modding
10-01-2018, 10:36 AM
OngBonga

I lied, I did some more modding. A cookie for the first person who finds what I did.
10-01-2018, 10:39 AM
MadMojoMonkey

Quote:

Originally Posted by OngBonga

wait to see if mojo bans him.

It is done.

We'll see if FTR can survive the loss, eh?
10-01-2018, 10:40 AM
OngBonga

yawn
10-01-2018, 10:40 AM
MadMojoMonkey

Quote:

Originally Posted by BananaStand

You're a real dicklicker for accusing me of making shit up when you clearly know NOTHING of what you're talking about.

mod note - unacceptable word removed, replaced with acceptable word
-ong

First guess.

Where's my cookie?
10-01-2018, 10:42 AM
OngBonga

You can't have it now. I'm eating it.
10-01-2018, 10:43 AM
OngBonga

I'm laughing already.
10-01-2018, 10:47 AM
OngBonga

Quote:

Even you Ong

Don't make me sob.
10-01-2018, 10:48 AM
OngBonga

I'm an idiot, fair enough, but I don't deserve AIDS. You take that back.
10-01-2018, 10:51 AM
OngBonga

Well I'm getting it through dirty needles, not by being bummed, ok?
10-01-2018, 10:51 AM
OngBonga

Quote:

Originally Posted by SpatulaItNow

And while I'm at it, I hope every woman you care about gets raped tomorrow

That goes for everyone

I hope you become less angry with internet hall monitors.
10-01-2018, 10:56 AM
OngBonga

Get a fucking avatar already, dickhead.
10-01-2018, 10:59 AM
OngBonga

Quote:

Originally Posted by SpatulaItNow

BANNED

There's only two people who can ban me, and mojo isn't one of them. I'm one, and gmml is the other.

Actually that xianti guy probably can, if he still exists.
10-01-2018, 11:01 AM
OngBonga

Quote:

Originally Posted by SpatulaItNow

All four confirmed faggot cunts.

Hey, leave xianti alone, you don't even know who he is.
10-01-2018, 11:02 AM
OngBonga

Personally I think banana is more fun when he really doesn't give a fuck.

Don't ban him immediately mojo, let this go for a day or two.

For me.
10-01-2018, 11:05 AM
OngBonga

Quote:

Originally Posted by SpatulaItNow

Probably a fascist

That's not an insult to people who actually are fascists.
10-01-2018, 11:06 AM
OngBonga

Quote:

Originally Posted by SpatulaItNow

When did I give a fuck?

I'm pretty sure you gave at least one fuck before, sine you didn't wish AIDS and rape on people before. You're like a dog that only shat on the carpet sometimes, like a dirty protest, but now you'll just shit everywhere without a care.
10-01-2018, 11:25 AM
OngBonga

I come here purely to talk bollocks. The entertainment you provide is merely a bonus.

I'll prove it by not leaving because you got banned. I'm not particularly happy about it, but I won't lose any sleep either.
10-01-2018, 11:27 AM
OngBonga

Are the two connected? Am I going to get AIDS because my friend got raped? Does that mean it's me doing the raping, and my female friends have AIDS?

Thanks for warning me, I won't do any raping now.
10-01-2018, 12:17 PM
OngBonga

Quote:

Originally Posted by SpatulaItNow

I already told you how your'e going to get AIDS. Thanks for proving that everyone here is just a hopeless retard who can barely understand simple english and has a short term memory that would embarrass a gold fish.

Fucking idiots.

You expect me to absorb the tripe you're shouting?

Also, if you're going to mock peoples' English skills, at least capitalise "English".
10-01-2018, 12:22 PM
OngBonga

banana, I'm probably going to boot you within the hour. I don't really want to, but mojo will inevitably do it when he comes back online, and I can't keep leaving him to clean up your shit.

So if you've got anything left to say, get it out of your system. See if you can offend me.
10-01-2018, 12:35 PM
OngBonga

Just me online now? Fine. See you when you set up another profile.
10-01-2018, 12:36 PM
OngBonga

I don't even know how to boot someone without deleting a post. I've only booted spammers.
10-01-2018, 12:40 PM
OngBonga

Maybe I can't do it because mojo already did? Fuck it, bored, he's yours mojo.
10-01-2018, 12:44 PM
MadMojoMonkey

Spatula account deleted and all posts by spatula deleted.
10-01-2018, 12:48 PM
OngBonga

I tried. Admittedly I let him have some fun first, but I was gonna boot him.
10-01-2018, 12:55 PM
MadMojoMonkey

Quote:

Originally Posted by OngBonga

You can't have it now. I'm eating it.

The trauma I've sustained by expecting a cookie, then being denied a cookie has left me unable to focus and I can no longer hold a job.
I'm filing assault charges with the UN and NATO.
Also calling for an FBI investigation.

I'm adding theft and destruction of property for the value of the cookie, my travel expenses to get to your shithole island and back and the added price of a pint of milk to wash down the dried-out, stale excuse for a cookie that is whatever you call a cookie in non-America.
10-01-2018, 01:08 PM
CoccoBill

Aww shucks, just when this was starting to get interesting. What am I to do with all this popcorn now?
10-01-2018, 02:13 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey

The trauma I've sustained by expecting a cookie, then being denied a cookie has left me unable to focus and I can no longer hold a job.
I'm filing assault charges with the UN and NATO.

Heh, I didn't know NATO had that kind of clout over cookies. I always suspected the UN did though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey

Also calling for an FBI investigation.

Only the senate can do that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey

I'm adding theft and destruction of property for the value of the cookie, my travel expenses to get to your shithole island and back and the added price of a pint of milk to wash down the dried-out, stale excuse for a cookie that is whatever you call a cookie in non-America.

I thought banana was back for a minute, until I saw the part about voluntarily setting foot outside of America.
10-01-2018, 02:15 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by OngBonga

I tried. Admittedly I let him have some fun first, but I was gonna boot him.

It was funny how he had a backup account ready just in case he wanted to say "AARARRHHGHGGHH!!! I HATE EVERYBODY!!!" a few more times.
10-01-2018, 02:22 PM
OngBonga

That account was no secret. He made that when spoonitnow created a forkitnow troll account.
10-01-2018, 02:24 PM
OngBonga

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey

The trauma I've sustained by expecting a cookie, then being denied a cookie has left me unable to focus and I can no longer hold a job.
I'm filing assault charges with the UN and NATO.
Also calling for an FBI investigation.

I'm adding theft and destruction of property for the value of the cookie, my travel expenses to get to your shithole island and back and the added price of a pint of milk to wash down the dried-out, stale excuse for a cookie that is whatever you call a cookie in non-America.

Click here to accept cookies.
10-01-2018, 02:25 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by OngBonga

That account was no secret. He made that when spoonitnow created a forkitnow troll account.

I remember it, but at the time the utensilnow theme seemed to indicate a common origin. Obviously could have used the FBI linguistic expert on that one.
10-01-2018, 02:32 PM
MadMojoMonkey

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoccoBill

Aww shucks, just when this was starting to get interesting. What am I to do with all this popcorn now?

found this book for you

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon....4,203,200_.jpg
10-01-2018, 02:34 PM
Jack Sawyer

Quote:

Originally Posted by BananaStand

He's not accused of anywhere near the same thing. Not even in the same universe.

The fact that you can take a factual account of the president of the united states getting down and dirty with his own intern, in the oval office and equate that with an alleged drunken teenage gropey horseplay is a better testament to your hypocrisy and demagoguery than anything I could have posted on my own.

That's so immensely preposterous I don't know how you stand yourself.

Do you know whaat the word "modicum" means?
10-01-2018, 02:38 PM
Poopadoop

Anyways, I just finished watching the better part of 4 hours of Kavanaugh being questioned at the hearing on Thurs. Here's a quick summary.

K: Here's my opening statement. Witch hunt! Aarrggh!!

Prosecutor/assistant lady: Judge K, here's your calendar. What were you doing this night 36 years ago?

K: My calendar says I was lifting weights with my buddies.

Prosecutor/assistant lady: Do you remember going to a party and raping someone?

K: No way.

Chairman: That's enough out of you, lady.

Random Dem senator: Judge K, you're a horrible person. Look at this yearbook. Were you ever too drunk to remember something?

K: I went to Yale!

Random Rep senator: Judge K, you're a wonderful person. All the D senators are assholes.

K: Thanks, I agree with everything you said.

Random Dem senator: Judge K, you're an asshole. Would you like an FBI investigation?

K: I worked hard for everything I got!

Random Rep senator: Judge K, you're a great guy. Those D senators really piss me off with their accusations.

K: Thanks, I agree.

...and so on for three hours.

Can someone please explain to me the point of this little circus? There's not one single impartial person in the whole thing, except the prosecutor/assistant lady, and she got cut off right at the beginning. What are those senators actually doing except slinging poo around?
10-01-2018, 02:39 PM
MadMojoMonkey

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poopadoop

Heh, I didn't know NATO had that kind of clout over cookies. I always suspected the UN did though.

I forget which one has jurisdiction over cookies and which has donuts.

Ich bin ein Berliner!
Is the UN, right?

So it's NATO for cookies?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poopadoop

Only the senate can do that.

Irrelevant. Cookie theft is treason against humanity, so the FBI has an automatic mandate to step in.
What do you think Felony Baking-related Investigations are, you distended goat's spleen?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poopadoop

I thought banana was back for a minute, until I saw the part about voluntarily setting foot outside of America.

lol
10-01-2018, 02:41 PM
MadMojoMonkey

Quote:

Originally Posted by OngBonga

Click here to accept cookies.

[insert gif of furious clicking]

Still no results.
I'm adding fraud and attempted racism to my list of charges.
10-01-2018, 02:42 PM
Jack Sawyer

Oh, banned again? C'mon.

Banana, for once you are unbanned, can you keep a (doesn't even have to be civil) discourse without namecalling people?

Speaking of goldfish memories, you've been banned for literally this same shit before. Do you have impulse control issues? Tourettes? Get a grip man.
10-01-2018, 02:44 PM
Jack Sawyer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opi8X9hQ7q8
10-01-2018, 02:46 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey

Irrelevant. Cookie theft is treason against humanity, so the FBI has an automatic mandate to step in.
What do you think Felony Baking-related Investigations are, you distended goat's spleen?

I think we've found our new banana.

Don't forget to use excessive punctuation, bolding, large fonts, etc.
10-01-2018, 02:46 PM
OngBonga

Jack, you're talking to a ghost.

Get a grip man.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mojo

I'm adding fraud and attempted racism to my list of charges.

I'm not racist, it's nothing to do with you being a monkey and everything to do with you eating bananas.

Fair charge on the fraud. Haha there was no link. I don't even think I've got any cookies. I've got chocolate digestives, will one of those do?
10-01-2018, 02:48 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opi8X9hQ7q8

"This video is not available in your shithole country, you English-type"
10-01-2018, 02:49 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by OngBonga

Jack, you're talking to a ghost.

Get a grip man.

I'm not racist, it's nothing to do with you being a monkey and everything to do with you eating bananas.

Fair charge on the fraud. Haha there was no link. I don't even think I've got any cookies. I've got chocolate digestives, will one of those do?

America doesn't have digestives. Too much healthy fibre.

Calling the Hague War Crimes Tribunal on the cookie fraud. Cookies in England are called 'biscuits'. How long have you lived here, allegedly?
10-01-2018, 02:51 PM
Jack Sawyer

Quote:

Originally Posted by OngBonga

Jack, you're talking to a ghost.

Get a grip man.

Permaban this time? Damn, that's harsh
10-01-2018, 02:56 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer

Permaban this time? Damn, that's harsh

Is it a perma ban?

I personally favoured him getting bans that doubled in length every time like pieces of rice on a chessboard, and watching him not change his behaviour one iota each time, just to prove how stubborn/brain-damaged he was.
10-01-2018, 02:58 PM
MadMojoMonkey

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer

Oh, banned again? C'mon.

Banana, for once you are unbanned, can you keep a (doesn't even have to be civil) discourse without namecalling people?

Speaking of goldfish memories, you've been banned for literally this same shit before. Do you have impulse control issues? Tourettes? Get a grip man.

This ban is permanent.

I've given him far more warnings and lesser reprimands than any adult deserves.
Some have argued that I was a jerk (to him) last time I gave him a temp ban and not a permanent ban.
I didn't see it that way at first, but I see their point now. At least, I think I understand that it looked like I was using my position of authority, here, to toy with him.
That was always the opposite of my intention, but I see how things didn't necessarily play out to my intent.

Anyway... he's banned, and I hope we can still keep discussions alive without his constant injection of intrigue and - for better and worse - his passion.
10-01-2018, 02:59 PM
MadMojoMonkey

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poopadoop

I think we've found our new banana.

Don't forget to use excessive punctuation, bolding, large fonts, etc.

:p

I think I got it out of my system.
10-01-2018, 03:01 PM
OngBonga

Cookies are a type of biscuit. Biscuits are not a type of cookie. How long have you been here?
10-01-2018, 03:03 PM
OngBonga

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer

Permaban this time? Damn, that's harsh

Yep. He won't come back unless mojo gives the nod, which I don't anticipate happening. I don't doubt he'll create a new profile now and then to troll us, and to be honest I hope he does. I'll give him an hour or two.
10-01-2018, 03:04 PM
Poopadoop

Can I suggest we all take turns being assholes just so no-one suffers from abuse-withdrawal?

Jack, your video link on your signature doesn't work either, you broken-link-posting nincompoop. Are you crazy?? ARRRGHGHGH!!
10-01-2018, 03:05 PM
OngBonga

Do they really not have digestives in America? No wonder they don't appreciate tea like we do.
10-01-2018, 03:06 PM
OngBonga

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poopadoop

Can I suggest we all take turns being assholes just so no-one suffers from abuse-withdrawal?

Jack, your video link on your signature doesn't work either, you broken-link-posting nincompoop. Are you crazy?? ARRRGHGHGH!!

If you're going to do it, do it properly, dickhead.
10-01-2018, 03:07 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by OngBonga

Cookies are a type of biscuit. Biscuits are not a type of cookie. How long have you been here?

I have definitely seen things normal persons (i.e., Canadians plus most United Americans) would call cookies being called biscuits here.

"Have a biscuit." they say. "What biscuit?" I say. Then they point to a plate of cookies. Fucking hell, learn the language you cunts.
10-01-2018, 03:09 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by OngBonga

Do they really not have digestives in America? No wonder they don't appreciate tea like we do.

Yup. One of my American friends expressed great delight at being offered a 'healthy' digestive cookie (or 'biscuit' as you would say), as if it were some kind of exotic oddity.
10-01-2018, 03:10 PM
OngBonga

To be fair, there's two different types of cookie...
Big, hot cookies, which are the best. They're not biscuits.
Then there's the small hard ones you get in packets, like Maryland. They are biscuits.

If you can dunk it in your tea, it's a biscuit. If you can't, it's something else.
10-01-2018, 03:11 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by OngBonga

If you're going to do it, do it properly, dickhead.

Or we could all just be assholes at once, douchebag.
10-01-2018, 03:11 PM
OngBonga

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poopadoop

Yup. One of my American friends expressed great delight at being offered a 'healthy' digestive cookie (or 'biscuit' as you would say), as if it were some kind of exotic oddity.

They're just cheap and tasty here, not even the best biscuits. They're just default.

How does a nation like America not have a huge market for dunking biscuits?
10-01-2018, 03:14 PM
Poopadoop

1 Attachment(s)

Quote:

Originally Posted by OngBonga

If you can dunk it in your tea, it's a biscuit. If you can't, it's something else.

Attachment 1076

Are you some kind of foreigner?

If it's a cookie it's full of sugar, mostly round (or irregular if homemade) in shape, and may be either hard or soft. If it's a biscuit, much less sugar, usually rectangular, and definitely hard.
10-01-2018, 03:16 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by OngBonga

How does a nation like America not have a huge market for dunking biscuits?

They've chosen to maximize their waistlines by dunking donuts instead. Please don't tell me theyre also a form of biscuit.
10-01-2018, 03:17 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by OngBonga

They're just cheap and tasty here, not even the best biscuits. They're just default.

Put chocolate on them and I think they're a top of the line cookie. I'm not sure about how they rank among biscuits.
10-01-2018, 03:18 PM
OngBonga

The hardness is a dead giveaway. Biscuits are not soft, hence they are dunkable... they don't fall apart, unless you're eating fucking Rich Tea, which is so called because it enriches your tea with fucking biscuit mush. Cookies that come in packs, they're not really cookies, they're cookie themed biscuits.
10-01-2018, 03:20 PM
OngBonga

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poopadoop

They've chosen to maximize their waistlines by dunking donuts instead. Please don't tell me theyre also a form of biscuit.

Doughnuts are most certainly not biscuits. I thought they dunk their doughnuts in colourful liquid sugar?
10-01-2018, 03:20 PM
OngBonga

Doughnut vs donut... that's probably the only one America got right. Fuck the u g h.
10-01-2018, 03:22 PM
MadMojoMonkey

Quote:

Originally Posted by OngBonga

They're just cheap and tasty here, not even the best biscuits. They're just default.

How does a nation like America not have a huge market for dunking biscuits?

When I hear the word digestive, I do not think of edible food.
I struggle to think of a use of the word digestive I've ever heard in America by an American.

Cookies are sweet. Biscuits savory.
Either can be hard or soft. Biscuits are sometimes more bland than savory, but never sweet.
A scone is somewhere in-between, but since there's like 2 sticks of butter in every scone, we'll eat them sweet or savory.
10-01-2018, 03:24 PM
MadMojoMonkey

Quote:

Originally Posted by OngBonga

Doughnuts are most certainly not biscuits. I thought they dunk their doughnuts in colourful liquid sugar?

No, we drizzle or outright pour liquid sugar (often colored) on the donuts, call it a glaze, then dunk them in coffee.
(I don't dunk donuts, though. Some do and some don't.)
10-01-2018, 03:26 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by OngBonga

The hardness is a dead giveaway. Biscuits are not soft, hence they are dunkable... they don't fall apart, unless you're eating fucking Rich Tea, which is so called because it enriches your tea with fucking biscuit mush. Cookies that come in packs, they're not really cookies, they're cookie themed biscuits.

I think there's also some regional dialect involved here, because everyone in the SE just calls everything remotely cookie-like a biscuit, and everything else (like a brownie, for example) a 'cake'.

It's not a cake! A cake is big and round and you get one on your birthday, you fucking illiterates - is what I would say if I weren't so polite - but it's what I'm thinking inside.
10-01-2018, 03:27 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey

When I hear the word digestive, I do not think of edible food.

Haha that was pretty much my friend's reaction as well. He actually called them 'digestibles' as a joke.
10-01-2018, 03:31 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey

No, we drizzle or outright pour liquid sugar (often colored) on the donuts, call it a glaze, then dunk them in coffee.
(I don't dunk donuts, though. Some do and some don't.)

I do like the concept of ordering a donut and a side of glazing though, then dunking your donut in the glaze before each bite. It's just hard to imagine what kind of receptacle to use for the glaze? A cup seems too big and it'd be hard to navigate your donut around one of those little ketchup holder things, especially before the initial bite. The first bite would inevitably have next to zero glaze on it.
10-01-2018, 03:35 PM
MadMojoMonkey

Quote:

Originally Posted by OngBonga

I'm not racist, it's nothing to do with you being a monkey and everything to do with you eating bananas.

How dare you bring up my banana allergy at a time like this, you detritus from the south end of a northbound elephant!
10-01-2018, 03:36 PM
Jack Sawyer

Danish Cookies (the aluminum round box thing) are the best, closely followed by anything from Pepperidge Farms
10-01-2018, 03:37 PM
MadMojoMonkey

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poopadoop

one of those little ketchup holder things

That's a ramekin.
The slightly larger, but still tiny bowls are called "monkey bowls."

All those years of waiting tables finally pays off!
10-01-2018, 03:39 PM
Poopadoop

1 Attachment(s)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer

Danish Cookies (the aluminum round box thing)

Attachment 1077

Are you also a foreigner?

Seriously, did not know Danish cookies were a thing. And "the aluminum round box" doesn't help me one bit.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer

closely followed by anything from Pepperidge Farms

I thought they made like breadrolls and shit.
10-01-2018, 03:41 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey

That's a ramekin.
The slightly larger, but still tiny bowls are called "monkey bowls."

All those years of waiting tables finally pays off!

Ok, so you go to your local donut shop drive though, grab a six pack of donuts and six small bowls of various glaze of your choice. Sounds good to me!
10-01-2018, 03:41 PM
MadMojoMonkey

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer

Danish Cookies (the aluminum round box thing) are the best, closely followed by anything from Pepperidge Farms

I do like those Danish shortbread cookies.
I like Pepperidge Farms, but my local grocer has a bakery that does better.
10-01-2018, 03:43 PM
MadMojoMonkey

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poopadoop

Seriously, did not know Danish cookies were a thing. And "the aluminum round box" doesn't help me one bit.

https://bigdealsmall.com/i5/dfw/dce0...315bc33.v1.jpg
10-01-2018, 03:43 PM
Jack Sawyer

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poopadoop

Attachment 1077

Are you also a foreigner?

Seriously, did not know Danish cookies were a thing. And "the aluminum round box" doesn't help me one bit.

I think the most common brand is Royal Dansk, just thinking about these makes me go up like 5 kilos

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poopadoop

I thought they made like breadrolls and shit.

I meant specifically their cookie divizion obviously

Mmmmm soft baked oatmeal raisin, tahoe, sausalito
10-01-2018, 03:44 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey

https://bigdealsmall.com/i5/dfw/dce0...315bc33.v1.jpg

They've obviously been found to have mercury in them and banned here.

Have you seen these before Ong?

Also, a butter cookie is very close to crossing the line into biscuit territory imo.
10-01-2018, 03:45 PM
MadMojoMonkey

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poopadoop

Ok, so you go to your local donut shop drive though, grab a six pack of donuts and six small bowls of various glaze of your choice. Sounds good to me!

Bwaaahahahahahaha!

Get 'em by the dozen, you noob.
But yeah... give me a butter glaze dip with a dozen old-fashioned cake donuts and I'll be in a blood sugar coma faster than you can say, "Hypoglycemic attack"
10-01-2018, 03:46 PM
Poopadoop

1 Attachment(s)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer

Mmmmm soft baked oatmeal raisin, tahoe, sausalito

Attachment 1078
10-01-2018, 03:48 PM
MadMojoMonkey

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poopadoop

Also, a butter cookie is very close to crossing the line into biscuit territory imo.

There's sugar crystals on top, so you don't get confused and try to serve them with soup or some nonsense.
10-01-2018, 03:48 PM
Jack Sawyer

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey

I do like those Danish shortbread cookies.
I like Pepperidge Farms, but my local grocer has a bakery that does better.

True af, nothing beats local, mass produced shit will always lag for some reason. Why is this?

We have something here called "mancaron" or "mankaron". Usually made with coconut. You taste one someday, it will feel like you have just been enlightened.

Mmmm takes me back to my childhood
10-01-2018, 03:50 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey

Bwaaahahahahahaha!

Get 'em by the dozen, you noob.
But yeah... give me a butter glaze dip with a dozen old-fashioned cake donuts and I'll be in a blood sugar coma faster than you can say, "Hypoglycemic attack"

I know better than to order 12 of anything tasty. I am about as good at self-control when it comes to sweets as banana was when it came to words.

Even buying six donuts, I'd struggle not to eat all six one after the other, spend the rest of the day feeling like shit, and wondering wtf I did that for, and then I'd prolly do it again a couple of weeks later.

I've literally banned myself from buying bulk ice cream for that very reason. I will do the occasional cookie binge on a small package though.
10-01-2018, 03:51 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey

There's sugar crystals on top, so you don't get confused and try to serve them with soup or some nonsense.

You agree crackers are what go with soup right, or bread? You're not actually dunking biscuits in soup are you?
10-01-2018, 03:53 PM
MadMojoMonkey

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer

True af, nothing beats local, mass produced shit will always lag for some reason. Why is this?

My guess is the added preservatives and other weird stuff they add to keep cookies soft.
I don't know for certain, though.

I have a bread-maker at home, and I use it about half the time I want bread. The other half the time I just buy from the store.
My bread tastes better, but the consistency isn't the same. It's denser on the bottom of the loaf and fluffier near the top. Also, it will definitely start to show visible molding within 5 days, whereas I can get over a week from a store-bought loaf.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer

We have something here called "mancaron" or "mankaron". Usually made with coconut. You taste one someday, it will feel like you have just been enlightened.

Mmmm takes me back to my childhood

Sounds like a Coconut Macaroon. They are amazing.
10-01-2018, 03:54 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Sawyer

True af, nothing beats local, mass produced shit will always lag for some reason. Why is this?

Freshness is my guess.

Try finding a tasty tomato in England, for example. No, forget it 'cause it's been off the vine for a week on a smelly boat from Spain. British strawberries though? Oh fuck yeah.

When I was a kid we had a vegetable garden in our back yard and everything that came out of there was fucking delicious and better than store-bought by a mile. And I didn't even like vegetables.
10-01-2018, 03:54 PM
MadMojoMonkey

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poopadoop

You agree crackers are what go with soup right, or bread? You're not actually dunking biscuits in soup are you?

Crackers go with chili.
Biscuits go with every meal, and are great to butter and dip in soup.

If a biscuit comes in the soup, then it's called a dumpling, dumpling.
10-01-2018, 03:55 PM
Jack Sawyer

Mancaron basic recipe

Another recipe

As you can see, these wildly differ. The ones who make the nut one will never divulge their recipe. I found this to be a baker near the high school I went to
10-01-2018, 03:56 PM
MadMojoMonkey

Quote:

Originally Posted by Poopadoop

I know better than to order 12 of anything tasty. I am about as good at self-control when it comes to sweets as banana was when it came to words.

Even buying six donuts, I'd struggle not to eat all six one after the other, spend the rest of the day feeling like shit, and wondering wtf I did that for, and then I'd prolly do it again a couple of weeks later.

I've literally banned myself from buying bulk ice cream for that very reason. I will do the occasional cookie binge on a small package though.

Sounds like I'm not the only one who's got an over-zealous pancreas.

I have to do similar, but I have a bit more self control after almost putting myself into a coma when I ate 3 donuts on an empty stomach. Having a life-threatening experience gave me a real sense of power over those sweets that taste so, so good.
10-01-2018, 03:57 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey

My guess is the added preservatives and other weird stuff they add to keep cookies soft.

Morticians are using less perservatives on human corpses prepared for burial now than 50 years ago because our tissues have been collecting all the preservatives in the processed crap we eat.

Fact.
10-01-2018, 04:00 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey

I have a bit more self control after almost putting myself into a coma when I ate 3 donuts on an empty stomach. Having a life-threatening experience...

3 donuts almost killed you? Jeezus I hope you never get caught outside in a stiff breeze without your long underwear on.

Confirmed nerdlinger.

Not sure what my fatal dose of donuts is but I'm pretty sure I could choke down at least 10 before I even had to go to hospital. Maybe more, haven't really pushed the envelope on that one tbh.
10-01-2018, 04:03 PM
Jack Sawyer

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey

Sounds like I'm not the only one who's got an over-zealous pancreas.

I have to do similar, but I have a bit more self control after almost putting myself into a coma when I ate 3 donuts on an empty stomach. Having a life-threatening experience gave me a real sense of power over those sweets that taste so, so good.

Do you have some sort of prediabetes condition?
10-01-2018, 04:04 PM
OngBonga

Danish "cookies" rock, but they're biscuits.

Honestly, that tin made me salivate. Pavlov's fucking biscuit tin.
10-01-2018, 04:05 PM
OngBonga

Quote:

Have you seen these before Ong?

I have a few of these empty tins for nails and bits and bobs.
10-01-2018, 04:08 PM
Poopadoop

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey

Crackers go with chili.
Biscuits go with every meal, and are great to butter and dip in soup.

If a biscuit comes in the soup, then it's called a dumpling, dumpling.

You guys are weird.

A dumpling is sort of a sloppy biscuity/cake crumbly thing with oozy sweet stuff inside, usually including fruit. It doesn't belong anywhere near a bowl of soup.

Salty crackers in soup, or bread in soup. No biscuits (or cookies, or cakes or dumplings, or pudding). Never ever.

A piece of bread in the soup when you get it is not called anything. That soup is called French soup and if you ask what the bread inside is called, the waiter takes it back and you get asked to leave to restaurant.

p.s. No coconut in anything. That shit is vile. And i'll eat kale if it's been mixed with something overpowering like lemon.

p.p.s Also tea is a waste of time and effort. You might as well drink a cup of hot water. Coffee or occasionally hot cocoa >>> tea.
10-01-2018, 04:11 PM
OngBonga

The fuck poop? You're in England now, a dumpling is a piece of dough in stew.
10-01-2018, 04:13 PM
OngBonga

Poop is right that bread goes in soup though. For dinner this evening, I had tomato soup, garlic bread and toast. Fucking champion.

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