Don't really know which one I like more the hyphenation of douche bag (douche-bag) or hand 1.

Hand 1: Ugh, really sux here, I think he hit a set, the way i'd play it though. I was thinking AcJc, but you said he playing hands hard and fast. Looks like his hand is real strong with *just* those calls. Heza playin fo yo stack on the river. When he calls the turn though, warning bells r going off.

Hand 2:Call me aggro but ill reraise this preflop 5 handed. Like the flop bet, turnbet too, minraise on the turn=ur beat= fold.