Wasn't being an asshole - I was joking, and I figured you would get the joke since you posted the thread with that title.

You want help? Check the turn against a tight player. Check the river against a looser player. After you check only call a reasonable bet, 1/2 pot or less, and that's just for pot odds, not because you expect to win, because you shouldn't. As played fold to the river raise, you're definitely behind unless you have a read that says otherwise. If you have such a read, you should mention it when you post this hand history.

Helpful?