why does jason statham suck so much

[wufwugy]

discuss

[wesrman]

Who ???

EDIT: i didnt mind him in The Transporter 1.

[ATOTHEC101]

i thought he was good in snatch and lockstock

[bigred]

i like him

[Galapogos]

I really enjoy his movies.

[Jack Sawyer]

wufwugy, taking a break from his daily "haters-anonymous" meeting, writes an utterly false thread.

false as in wrong


jason statham is a pretty good actor imo, don't hate on him

[bigred]

let's turn this hate into love

jack sawyer, ur awesome and people like you

[wesrman]

let's turn this hate into love

jack sawyer, ur awesome and people like you

Im one of those people. <3

[Jack Sawyer]

bigred, wesrman, ur awesome and people like you too

[mrhappy333]

Jason Staham is good. Better than wesley snipes

[wufwugy]

omg wat?

the guy was cool in the guy richie films but thats it. he's like the wannabes answer to bruce willis, and even willis isnt that cool.

there is absolutely nothing about him that stands out that provides that he should play so many 'badass' roles, and he makes those roles even lamer than the movie required. he sounds like a twat. i love british accents more than anybody ever, but i cant stand his. its like jack bauer meets mr bean or something stupid.

he cant even move that well. tom cruise is a better 'action hero' than statham. the only redeeming quality he has is that all the movies he's starred in are subpar writing/directing. at least those who know movies know he would be a disgrace as leading role to actual quality films.

look at it this way:

clive owen in shoot em up >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> statham in crank.

they were supposed to be very similar characters too. owen was super cool and funny, statham was a douchebags wet dream

[Jack Sawyer]

you got a reverse man-crush imo

[Numbr2intheWorld]

god shoot em up was so bad

[wufwugy]

god shoot em up was so bad

dude shoot em up was so excellent. there is no legitimate reason to not like it, and here's why

1) you must be a diehard fan of shoot em up films. if youre not then dont bother. 2) you must understand that shoot em ups are inherently lame. 3) you must understand that Shoot em Up is meant to be both the most over the top shoot em up film as well as a parody of shoot em up films. 4) once you have those prerequisites down then you understand why shoot em ups are so cool (excluding the obv violence part). these reasons are that the protagonist is always major badass (which clive owen did fantastically), there is always a gorgeous babe (which russian chick or whatever was) there is always an over the top bad guy (giamatti fondling dead girl boob omg, giamattis so cool), and its supposed to have a lot of comic relief (shoot em up was funniest shoot em up ever).

if you do not like Shoot Em Up then you simply do not meet the criteria for viewing it.

[wufwugy]

you got a reverse man-crush imo

now if we were talking about michael caine or chris bale or david attenborough then we'd be somewhere. nothing as cool as a cool brit, but also nothing as lame as a lame brit.

[wufwugy]

also i venture a guess that those who like statham are <25 years old. see i have the privilege of being a teen when he first came on the screen, nobody found that there was any legitimate reason for him to start being leading badass, yet suddenly he started playing those. those of you who are say 19 or whatever didnt get to see what the world was like before statham 'became a badass'.

lol

[bigred]

stick to posting pics of butts imo

[wesrman]

stick to posting pics of butts imo

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.
Nice 1 Bred.

[wufwugy]

stick to posting pics of butts imo

so sorry.

perhaps you will accept a can of gerber hotdogs as a peace offering?

[Thunder]

WTF? Statham rocked in Crank!

And though Transporter was a direct to video B movie, he actually looked like a bad mo fo (unlike Bruce Willis).

[wufwugy]

the only good part in crank was the ending.

and by ending i mean when i yanked it from my ps3 and smashed it beneath my foot of destruction

[Thunder]

the only good part in crank was the ending.

and by ending i mean when i yanked it from my ps3 and smashed it beneath my foot of destruction

You're a chick, right?

[dthorne04]

I like Jason Statham, he's been in some good flicks. Transporter, Lock Stock, Snatch were all good stuff.

But Crank was fucking godawful.

[wufwugy]

the only good part in crank was the ending.

and by ending i mean when i yanked it from my ps3 and smashed it beneath my foot of destruction

You're a chick, right?

yea

wanna cyber?

[WillburForce]

I agree with wufwugy. The man can't act. Lock Stock was funny. Snatch was just dull. Stathams attempt at being a tough cockney was a whole other level of shit.
He was married to Kelly Brook though, so props to the man.

[ATOTHEC101]

willbur if you ever blaspheme against snatch again i may have to start a hate thread against you tarnishing your e-name forever.

[WillburForce]

Apologies ATOTHEC101...Snatch is great. All the acting was superb incl Bratt Pitt mumbling incoherently through out. Guy Richie is most defo not a mockney talking, old hag marrying, public school bellend. And Jason Statham is in fact the new Olivier

[a500lbgorilla]

Brad Pitts character was supposed to mumble incoherently?

[bigred]

Apologies ATOTHEC101...Snatch is great. All the acting was superb incl Bratt Pitt mumbling incoherently through out. Guy Richie is most defo not a mockney talking, old hag marrying, public school bellend. And Jason Statham is in fact the new Olivier

Please suggest movies you think I should see so I can avoid them in the future.

[Da GOAT]

jason is so way better than clive owen. owen is fucking shite and im a big fan of them typ eof moives

[WillburForce]

Apologies ATOTHEC101...Snatch is great. All the acting was superb incl Bratt Pitt mumbling incoherently through out. Guy Richie is most defo not a mockney talking, old hag marrying, public school bellend. And Jason Statham is in fact the new Olivier

Please suggest movies you think I should see so I can avoid them in the future.

hehehehe....sorry but I just find all those Brit crime caper films shit.

If you wanna see some good Brit films:

Trainspotting (oldie, but classic), Layer Cake, This is England, The Football Factory, Notting Hill(only fking joking - this is utter shit)

[ATOTHEC101]

haha i actually agree with all the films you just mentioned willbur, though i found this is england a little bit dreary for my tastes, and i still fucking love british gangster flicks by guy ritchie!

[Thunder]

If you wanna see some good Brit films:

Doomsday
28 Days Later
Nil By Mouth
Dog Soldiers
The Descent
Sexy Beast
ID
Christopher Lee Dracula movies.
Snatch
Lock Stock
Casino Royale


And, depending on the judging criteria:
Superman
Aliens
Batman (1989)


Good movies that don't play to the (mainly) US stereotype of all posh voices and sipping tea in 3 piece suits shat.

And none of the typical Brit movies: art house, dull, self indulgen, kitchen sink/period crap. Which means we usually get a film based on the director's upbringing (yawn) like Son of Rambow or angst ridden garbage about two 18th century lesbians in the Lake District, where absolutely nothing happens.

[frosst]

monica bellucci was the chick in shoot em up. crank wasnt that great of a movie. so to use one of his worst movies as a measuring stick to his acting ability is lame. also shoot em up > crank.

[wufwugy]

please name movie where statham is leading role (preferrably supposed to be badass too) that i should judge.

and im not clowning on statham in guy richie films. he was good in those. this miraculous transition to leading badass is whats got my wads in a panty.

and clive owen is fucking awesome. just watch the last bonus ep of Extras. in fact everybody in extras is now awesome. patrick stewart, harry potter, legolas, ben stiller. best cameos ever found in extras.

[pantherhound]

u forgot Ian McKellan

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43sbtkQM6zc

[WillburForce]

If you wanna see some good Brit films:

Nil By Mouth
Sexy Beast

how'd I miss these? Ray Winston is my hero.

FTW... Scum

"What tool? This FACKING tool!"

[Da GOAT]

clive owen!

clive owen!

clive owen!

wufwugy you used to be sound.

[Halv]

I don't like you anymore wuf

[wufwugy]

oh man if i knew everybody here had such a hard-on for statham i would have been poastin teh hatin much earlier.

and clive owen aint spectacular. he's been good in a number of movies, real good in one, and great in a sitcom cameo.

i repeat, tell me the one movie where statham is leading role (preferrably where he is 'tough guy' but doesn't have to be), and i will watch it and evaluate completely unbiased like (standard).

and no snatch and lock stock dont count. he was fantastic in those, but he also wasn't tough guy. as seems unnoticed, my main problem is that he's not a merited tough guy. he's too skinny, too generic, too unfunny, and not classy enough.

[Galapogos]

July should be Jason Statham avatar month.

[Jack Sawyer]

Some guys are better at supporting roles than at leading roles. Thats just how it is.

Morgan Freeman - The Shawshank Redemption, Neo Batman
Jason Statham - Snatch - Lock-Stock
Benicio del Toro - Traffic
Ken Watanabe - Samurai
Djimon Honsou - Biker Boyz - Blood Diamond
Jamie Foxx - That taxi driver thing
Brad Pitt - Pretty much any movie ever
Samuel L. Jackson - Pulp Fiction and a short list 100 movies long
Gary Sinise - Forrest Gump




Others suck at supporting roles, and just are better as lead


Arnold Schwarzenegger - Commando/ Total Recall
Sylvester Stallone - Rambo/ Rocky
Mel Gibson - Braveheart/ Lethal Weapon Saga
Tom Hanks (the terminal, forrest gump, robinson crusoe movie, philadelphia)


Few guys can pull both off, like

George Clooney (Ocean's, Micheal Clayton, etc..)
Kevin Spacey (the usual Suspects, american beauty)
Eddie Norton (that one poker movie, italian job, and pretty much any othermovie that came out)
Tom Cruise (yeah, he used to act, and pretty damn well)




So there you go, if you want to make a blockbuster, make a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger or Sylvester Stallone or Mel Gibson, ft. Morgan Freeman and Jason Statham and watch the cash & the oscars come flowing in

[Jack Sawyer]

as seems unnoticed, my main problem is that he's not a merited tough guy. he's too skinny, too generic, too unfunny, and not classy enough.

classic symptom of a reverse man-crush #4: irrational hatred of the man in question, resulting in FAILed descriptions



and he played the part in transporter pretty well, too.
just don't mind transporter 2, that's just Sony Studios trying to cash in on the under-the-radar popularity of transporter 1

lets be honest here: he's nowhere near bruce willis in die hard, but he can play a tough guy part pretty well (but bruce in die hard nakatomi plaza is godly)

[wufwugy]

July should be Jason Statham avatar month.

i support this because i support funny

[wufwugy]

and so transporter is the one i need to watch? man thats gonna suck. its a 6.4 on imdb. no action or drama has ever been 6.4 and good.

[a500lbgorilla]

wait, you're shit talking Jman Statham and you haven't even seen Transporter?

[Jack Sawyer]

and so transporter is the one i need to watch? man thats gonna suck. its a 6.4 on imdb. no action or drama has ever been 6.4 and good.

W

T

F


Lemme repeat myself

[wufwugy]

wait, you're shit talking Jman Statham and you haven't even seen Transporter?

crank is the better statham movie according to the most reliable review system in existence.

[wufwugy]

and so transporter is the one i need to watch? man thats gonna suck. its a 6.4 on imdb. no action or drama has ever been 6.4 and good.

W

T

F


Lemme repeat myself

i am being facetious about letting this influence my opinion of a movie that i haven't watched, but i call it what it is wrt likelyhood. imdb rating system is very excellent inasmuch as once you understand how it works you realize the ratings are generally accurate to a high degree of likelyhood.

for example: there are few truly quality drama films in the 6 area, and likewise very few drama films lacking in quality in the 8 area.

[frosst]

yea cuz the critics are always right oh, and the people that can relate to you are most definitely posting reviews on imdb......like you did right? b/c they're just like you? so they posted it too? so obv they know what the hell you like right? amirite? (last part must be read as if stewie was saying it on family guy when he was making fun of brian writing his book.the clip)

[wufwugy]

yea cuz the critics are always right oh, and the people that can relate to you are most definitely posting reviews on imdb......like you did right? b/c they're just like you? so they posted it too? so obv they know what the hell you like right? amirite? (last part must be read as if stewie was saying it on family guy when he was making fun of brian writing his book.the clip)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strawman

[frosst]

u posted 2 fast..... iarestrawman

[Thunder]

oh man if i knew everybody here had such a hard-on for statham i would have been poastin teh hatin much earlier.

tell me the one movie where statham is leading role (preferrably where he is 'tough guy' but doesn't have to be), and i will watch it and evaluate completely unbiased like (standard).

Hmmmm. Doesn't look like that's possible.

my main problem is that he's not a merited tough guy. he's too skinny, too generic, too unfunny, and not classy enough.

This always makes me laugh when I hear people say it. Not all tough guys are 6' 4" and built like a shit house. Look at Ben Kingsley in Sexy Beast for a start. Just like real life, some of the average/smaller ones are the most dangerous.

So you see Statham dance in Transporter and he looks like he can kick butt. Dunno what the problem is. And he sure as hell has the face for it - unlike Ashton Kutchner.

Also used to make me laugh how JCV Damme (at 5' 6") would get in the shorter actors and do the whole standing on a box thing when he actually comes across tougher kicking arse at that height as opposed to him trying to look 6' 2" and big 'n' burly.

[wesrman]

OMFG the search feature actually worked for once ! ! ! !

I had to bring this thread back because im sick and have been watching movies non stop for a few days.

I loved Crank, War was good, and im about to watch Transporter 1 + 2 again. The more Statham i watch, the more i like him. Has anyone seen #3 yet???

Off topic i wathced Hancock and the Dark knight and liked both a lot. I also have You dont mess witht he Zohan, but havent watched it yet.

I would love some advice on action movies to watch after these.

[jo]

Bank Job is another Jason Statham movie which is pretty awesome.

Clive Owen is just wank.

[XTR1000]

the transporter 1 & 2 were awesome and so was cranked. haters

[wufwugy]

my impersonation of average FTR member movie evaluations:

"schindlers list sucks, braveheart sucks, spaceballs sucks, daniel day lewis sucks, james cameron sucks, indiana jones 4 rules, martin lawrence rules, michael bay rules, never back down rules, casino royale rules, i'd bang kathy bates"

[XTR1000]

OMFG the search feature actually worked for once ! ! ! !

I had to bring this thread back because im sick and have been watching movies non stop for a few days.

I loved Crank, War was good, and im about to watch Transporter 1 + 2 again. The more Statham i watch, the more i like him. Has anyone seen #3 yet???

Off topic i wathced Hancock and the Dark knight and liked both a lot. I also have You dont mess witht he Zohan, but havent watched it yet.

I would love some advice on action movies to watch after these.

if u liked the transporter u´ll like other productions of luc besson too. taxi and taxi taxi were pretty cool. ronin was awesome as well. if u havent yet watch all of stanley kubricks movies.