A couple points:
1. I think being brought up in a loving and stable household is by far the exception, not the rule.
2. I think you are willfully misinterpreting wuf's post, so as to avoid contemplating that your unconditional love may be anything but selfless. Most parents probably do think that they unconditionally love their children, and most parents probably do. But this is in no way in contrast to wuf's assertion that it is a vicarious love. I would think it would be clear that this is not a conscious distinction in the parents mind. Vicarious and unconditional are not in any way mutually exclusive here.
3. Suppose it was the case that parental love was a vicarious love, and therefore a selfish type of love. Would this make parents bad people? Hardly. It would simply be an interesting facet in the workings of the mind.
4. This part of the discussion is sort of analogous to an atheist proposing that religion has a net negative effect on society. The religious person believes so strongly that their faith is a positive thing that they auto-reject a completely reasonable hypothesis.
5. First hand emotional anecdotes are pretty much useless. What you feel, especially concerning a highly emotional subject, simply has no bearing on what is.
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