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Toilet paper, hoarding and profiteering, and ass hygiene thread

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  1. #1

    Default Toilet paper, hoarding and profiteering, and ass hygiene thread

    There, I did it. Let's get all these into one thread.
  2. #2
    Ok, so I've been moistening TP for a long time now. But what's the proper bidet etiquette? Anyone a pro?

    Also, anyone a pro with the traditional Asian setup? IIRC, in less developed parts of Asia you'd find a large trough of water, a small pale, and a bar of soap. What is to be done with these three tools?
  3. #3
    I'm going to talk about complete random stuff in this thread, just to annoy you.

    Today I said "thank you" to the bin men, just for being at work during this time.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by boost View Post
    Ok, so I've been moistening TP for a long time now.

    I've been blessed with an extremely regular digestive system. I wake up, eat breakfast, drink a coffee, and take a shit, always in that order (one day I may take a shit before I wake up, but I'm not that old yet). Then it's straight from the toilet to the shower. So I literally haven't had to even worry about wiping my ass in years.

    If I did though I'd wet some paper, clean as best I could, then dry with other paper.


    Quote Originally Posted by boost View Post
    But what's the proper bidet etiquette? Anyone a pro? Also, anyone a pro with the traditional Asian setup? IIRC, in less developed parts of Asia you'd find a large trough of water, a small pale, and a bar of soap. What is to be done with these three tools?
    Bidet etiquette - no idea. Third world ass hygiene - don't even want to think about it.
  5. #5
    Bog roll is something I'd consider essential, just not as essential as some things. I'd put in in the second group of "essential goods", along with tampons. Food, water, medicine and shelter are the "group one" essentials.
    It is in category two, and so is other personal hygiene stuff. If hoard lady had gone in and bought all the toothpaste and shampoo in that store, she'd also be a cunt.

    The only thing that makes toilet paper a grey area is that in a pinch you can pretty much use anything to wipe your ass. An old sock, for example. Can't really brush your teeth with an old sock though.
  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    I'm going to talk about complete random stuff in this thread, just to annoy you.
    So, no different from any other thread then?
  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    So, no different from any other thread then?
    Pretty much.

    I replied to your other comment in the appropriate thread.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  8. #8
    Old socks are my first port of call. For arse wiping, of course.

    For teeth brushing, well a toothbrush with no paste is better than nothing.
    Doesn't really get them clean though in my experience.

    Also, what about shampoo? Do you use dish soap or hand soap? Is there something special about why it gets used on the hair is my point. Or is it just soap with a bit of perfume added.
  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    I replied to your other comment in the appropriate thread.
    Think you're taking this anarchy thing a bit far.
  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    Doesn't really get them clean though in my experience.

    Also, what about shampoo? Do you use dish soap or hand soap? Is there something special about why it gets used on the hair is my point. Or is it just soap with a bit of perfume added.
    Shampoo? wtf is that? Is that the stuff girls use to clean their hair?

    If I didn't have any shower gel, I'd use soap to clean my body, and hot water to clean my hair.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  11. #11
    Chewing gum is decent backup toothpaste, by the way. Sugar free, obviously.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    Shampoo? wtf is that? Is that the stuff girls use to clean their hair?
    Yes, girls. And guys who want clean hair.
  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    Yes, girls. And guys who want clean hair.
    Shower gel cleans my hair. It just doesn't smell like coconut, nor does it have a silky feel like it's coated in some shit that girls like the feel of.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  14. #14
    Woah, woah, woah... Poop, you go straight shit to shower? It's up in the air who is more of a savage, you or Ong. Fucking poo water running down your leg? Ehgh! Ultimately you're cleaner, but your shower is far filthier. I hope you don't take baths.

    I will say, I'm terribly jealous of your regularity though. Occasionally I'll get it locked in like that, but then it gets interrupted, and it's all over the place.
  15. #15
    oskar's Avatar
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    itt: people acting confused about how water works.
    Wash your filthy asses you animals!
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  16. #16
    I just farted. I best go clean my arse.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by boost View Post
    Woah, woah, woah... Poop, you go straight shit to shower? It's up in the air who is more of a savage, you or Ong. Fucking poo water running down your leg? Ehgh! Ultimately you're cleaner, but your shower is far filthier. I hope you don't take baths.
    Poo water does not run down my leg. I always have a clean drop.

    Eat yoghurt every day; maybe that's why.


    Quote Originally Posted by boost View Post
    I will say, I'm terribly jealous of your regularity though. Occasionally I'll get it locked in like that, but then it gets interrupted, and it's all over the place.
    I credit the yoghurt for that.
  18. #18
    Cross posting from non-tp thread

    Quote Originally Posted by boost View Post
    If she had two or even five cases of TP, I probably would have thought the woman filming was overreacting. But she cleared out the store and had something like 20 cases. She also could have been supplying an institution in need (such as a nursing home) which had no luck with their typical distributor, but she didn't offer up any of this info when she could have, so we can only assume she's hoarding, or just super socially awkward.
    From her demeanor, she definitely seemed guilty to me. If you're the least bit non-autistic, you gotta realize how that looks to others, and presumably you'd be in a hurry to explain it. The fact she only spoke to insult camera lady suggests to me a guilty conscience.
  19. #19
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by boost View Post
    Ok, so I've been moistening TP for a long time now.
    If I did that, I'd have a wet slop of mush spread across my shitty ass.

    How can you moisten TP without it just disintegrating in the time it takes your hand to move toward your ass?

    (I use Charmin, BTW, not some damn hippy extra-biodegradable-for-your-latrine TP, neither.)


    Though these days, I'm about to be using whatever sandpaper is left on the shelves.
    You can find any pattern you want to any level of precision you want, if you're prepared to ignore enough data.
  20. #20
    Yeah, I definitely am putting my money with you-- but I was pointing out her possible outs only to show how likely it was she was hoarding/price gauging.
  21. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post
    If I did that, I'd have a wet slop of mush spread across my shitty ass.

    How can you moisten TP without it just disintegrating in the time it takes your hand to move toward your ass?

    (I use Charmin, BTW, not some damn hippy extra-biodegradable-for-your-latrine TP, neither.)


    Though these days, I'm about to be using whatever sandpaper is left on the shelves.
    I use red Charmin. I always fold, never scrunch. But yeah, I've probably unconsciously developed a dexterous technique over the years. But come on, you're a smart guy, you know your butthole isn't clean with just dry paper.
  22. #22
    If I need to moisten, I tend to run the tap for a second, then allow most of the water to drain from the sink, and quickly touch the sink with the paper so it becomes moist in the centre where it will make contact with my nipsy. But this is only if it's a particularly nasty shit that dry wiping isn't dealing with.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  23. #23
    Nipsy.

    Lol.
  24. #24
    Nipsy refers to specifically the sphincter, whereas the arse is the surrounding area. For example, you might say to a lady friend "you have a fantastic arse" but you (probably) wouldn't say "you have a fantastic nipsy".
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  25. #25
    Back to hoarder lady:

    There's a difference between hoarding and profiteering. Unless that woman and her entire family all have chronic explosive diarrhea, there is no way she needs all that tp herself. Just like that guy who bought all the hand sanitizer on Amazon, then was selling it out of his garage. She was almost certainly taking advantage of the situation to try to make a buck at others' expense.

    And in this case, there certainly is a clear expense incurred by people having to go around during a pandemic to find tp. Ergo, whether she was acting within the law or not, she's a cunt.
  26. #26
    Not sure I agree. Some people might think this is a SHTF situation. It still might turn out to be. If someone thinks society is about to collapse, they might want a lifetime's supply of bog roll, since there is no obvious way to create your own. You can grow food, you can filter water, but how do you make bog roll?

    Probably it is profiteering, but it's not a given.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  27. #27
    Even if it were SHTF, what right would she have to grab more than her share of the world's remaining supply of tp? Is she someone special? No, she's not, fuck her.
  28. #28
    And giving more thought to camera lady:

    I'm guessing her state of mind went something like: she walks up to the store and sees hoarder lady coming out with 2000 rolls of tp, gives her a funny look, and hoarder lady tells her (by her account) to mind her own business.

    Now, instead of saying 'look, you selfish fucking slut, how about not being a cunt and trying to make money off of this situation', and walking away, instead she decides to make it personal and take out her camera and film hoarder lady so she can shame her on the internet, as a way of getting revenge.

    So really, camera lady's being a selfish cunt herself, putting her own desire to 'win' the confrontation above the common good. So yeah, fuck her too.
  29. #29
    oskar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    Nipsy refers to specifically the sphincter, whereas the arse is the surrounding area. For example, you might say to a lady friend "you have a fantastic arse" but you (probably) wouldn't say "you have a fantastic nipsy".
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  30. #30
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
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    Poop is a socialist all the sudden.
    Huh.
    You can find any pattern you want to any level of precision you want, if you're prepared to ignore enough data.
  31. #31
    This thread just went up in value.

    https://twitter.com/NAChristakis/sta...22941858787328
  32. #32
    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    Even if it were SHTF, what right would she have to grab more than her share of the world's remaining supply of tp? Is she someone special? No, she's not, fuck her.
    She already has every right to do it, it's legal. Rights and morality are not the same thing. But let's replace your word "right" with "moral basis" and I respond on that basis.

    If SHTF for real, ie society is on the brink of collapse, morality goes out of the window. This bitch would be dumb, because she makes herself a prime target for robbery. But being selfish and stockpiling is not just predictable, it's understandable. She might not want a lifetime's supply of bog roll, she might simply see it as an excellent bargaining product in a future anarchic economy. There are better products to stockpile, salt being one, but bog roll will be a high value product because nobody wants an itchy arse all day long.

    And as far as she is concerned, yes she is special. If SHTF for real, I'm special, so are my family and close friends, and fuck everyone else.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  33. #33
    I think TP is a terrible good to build your post apocalyptic power base from, unless you plan to trade up while more optimistic people are under valuing their salt, ammo, guns, horses, etc.

    That being said, I'm mostly with Ong wrt a shit hitting the fan scenario. I don't actually think morality goes out the window though. Morality is useful for societies. If shit hits the fan, society doesn't go away, it simply fractures. Now your society is your family, your friend group, the group of survivors you happen to fall in with, etc.

    We're a social species, and we'll always try to build a better society, so moral actions will ultimately pay social dividends. It's just that morals are context dependent.
  34. #34
    It depends on the level of SHTF. Morality is important if you're in an anarchic society that revolves around community, and I'd like to think that's where we'd be. On the other hand, if it's every-man-for-himself, well then the survivors will be those who have no morality.

    Personally, I'd bank on community. If it's EMFH, I'd rather die sooner than later, as it wouldn't be a very nice world to live in at all. At least with community, life is still enjoyable.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  35. #35
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    It depends on the level of SHTF. Morality is important if you're in an anarchic society that revolves around community, and I'd like to think that's where we'd be. On the other hand, if it's every-man-for-himself, well then the survivors will be those who have no morality.

    Personally, I'd bank on community. If it's EMFH, I'd rather die sooner than later, as it wouldn't be a very nice world to live in at all. At least with community, life is still enjoyable.
    I'm with you almost completely-- my only objection is that I don't think EMFH is a possible reality. Even in the face of the 40-60% mortality rates of the black death, social cohesion didn't give way. We're social creatures, and we're always going to be attracted to other humans. But obviously this is just speculation on my part and my mind may just not be capable of conjuring up the parameters that would cause a true EMFH scenario.
  36. #36
    Quote Originally Posted by boost View Post
    But obviously this is just speculation on my part and my mind may just not be capable of conjuring up the parameters that would cause a true EMFH scenario.
    In any such scenario, it would take about 2 seconds for people to start making alliances. A lone wolf in an apocalypse is going to get his ass kicked.
  37. #37
    Quote Originally Posted by boost View Post
    I'm with you almost completely-- my only objection is that I don't think EMFH is a possible reality. Even in the face of the 40-60% mortality rates of the black death, social cohesion didn't give way. We're social creatures, and we're always going to be attracted to other humans. But obviously this is just speculation on my part and my mind may just not be capable of conjuring up the parameters that would cause a true EMFH scenario.
    I hope EMFH isn't a possibility. But humanity never ceases to amaze me.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong

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