things that tilt you

[kingnat]

Large groups of affluent white males getting together to "teabag"....

Actually it's not tilting.. it's hysterical.

[frosst]

being 52% favorite and losing

[bigspenda73]

hot Asian chicks dating goofy white boys

[dthorne04]

hot Asian chicks dating goofy white boys

[dthorne04]

people on public transit that listen to their ipods so fucking loud i can hear the goddamn lyrics

[kmind]

hot Asian chicks dating goofy white boys

This absolutely the worst. Major props.

[givememyleg]

KMIND TILTS ME

kmind71 (2:54:21 AM): $100 flip at ftp?
givememyleg (2:54:41 AM): oh why must you take advantage of my degeneracy
givememyleg (2:54:45 AM): are you tilting
kmind71 (2:54:51 AM): yes and because i love you
givememyleg (2:54:56 AM): haha
givememyleg (2:55:03 AM): what gaaaaaame ?
kmind71 (2:55:12 AM): just a 100nl HU table?
givememyleg (2:55:15 AM): okay lol
kmind71 (2:55:24 AM): k cool
givememyleg (2:55:26 AM): but just 1 flip, i dont want this to get crazy
kmind71 (2:55:31 AM): yeah for sure
kmind71 (2:55:33 AM): thanks
givememyleg (2:55:37 AM): haha why you tilting?
kmind71 (2:56:01 AM): because they have flushes always and because EV doesn't mean shit when you click "cashier"
kmind71 (2:56:09 AM): and i cheated on a test and got a 65 still
kmind71 (2:56:10 AM): fml
givememyleg (2:56:13 AM): damn son
givememyleg (2:57:17 AM): ok im ready to GO GO GO i think
givememyleg (2:57:19 AM): are you sitting/
kmind71 (2:57:20 AM): yayyyy
kmind71 (2:57:21 AM): yes
givememyleg (2:57:25 AM): OK GOOD LUCK
givememyleg (2:57:28 AM): i hope i get the aces
kmind71 (2:57:34 AM): me too!
kmind71 (2:57:49 AM): not sure if i have ever won a flip


Full Tilt Poker Game #11727142856: Table Fulmer (deep hu) - $0.50/$1 - No Limit Hold'em - 2:57:49 ET - 2009/04/17
Seat 1: SuitsUs ($100)
Seat 2: JohnnyChanloljk ($100)
SuitsUs posts the small blind of $0.50
JohnnyChanloljk posts the big blind of $1
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to JohnnyChanloljk [Jh 7s]
SuitsUs raises to $100, and is all in
JohnnyChanloljk: GOOD LUCK
JohnnyChanloljk calls $99, and is all in
SuitsUs shows [2d As]
JohnnyChanloljk shows [Jh 7s]
*** FLOP *** [Kc 6s Th]
*** TURN *** [Kc 6s Th] [4s]
*** RIVER *** [Kc 6s Th 4s] [9s]
SuitsUs shows Ace King high
JohnnyChanloljk shows King Jack high
SuitsUs wins the pot ($199.50) with Ace King high
JohnnyChanloljk adds $100
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $200 | Rake $0.50
Board: [Kc 6s Th 4s 9s]
Seat 1: SuitsUs (small blind) showed [2d As] and won ($199.50) with Ace King high
Seat 2: JohnnyChanloljk (big blind) showed [Jh 7s] and lost with King Jack high

kmind71 (2:57:50 AM): gg
kmind71 (2:58:08 AM): gg
givememyleg (2:58:44 AM): haha wanna go 1 more netx hand?
givememyleg (2:58:46 AM): im a degen
kmind71 (2:58:54 AM): yeah
kmind71 (2:59:02 AM): that's it though


Full Tilt Poker Game #11727155367: Table Fulmer (deep hu) - $0.50/$1 - No Limit Hold'em - 2:59:19 ET - 2009/04/17
Seat 1: SuitsUs ($200.40)
Seat 2: JohnnyChanloljk ($100)
JohnnyChanloljk posts the small blind of $0.50
SuitsUs posts the big blind of $1
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to JohnnyChanloljk [2h 2d]
JohnnyChanloljk raises to $100, and is all in
SuitsUs calls $99
JohnnyChanloljk shows [2h 2d]
SuitsUs shows [Ac 5h]
*** FLOP *** [4s 9c 5d]
*** TURN *** [4s 9c 5d] [4h]
*** RIVER *** [4s 9c 5d 4h] [Js]
JohnnyChanloljk shows two pair, Fours and Twos
SuitsUs shows two pair, Fives and Fours
SuitsUs wins the pot ($199.50) with two pair, Fives and Fours
JohnnyChanloljk is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $200 | Rake $0.50
Board: [4s 9c 5d 4h Js]
Seat 1: SuitsUs (big blind) showed [Ac 5h] and won ($199.50) with two pair, Fives and Fours
Seat 2: JohnnyChanloljk (small blind) showed [2h 2d] and lost with two pair, Fours and Twos

kmind71 (2:59:32 AM): hahahahah
givememyleg (2:59:37 AM): well there you go lol

[kmind]

You didn't show the in between hand where I won (we checked down). That tilts me.

[pantherhound]

when you go for a piss after having sex and the piss comes out in like 2 separate streams, one of which always sprays on the floor.

I'm curious to know if anyone else has this?????

[Reidak]

that means you did it right

[kmind]

i thought everyone does that

[bjsaust]

Everyone does that.

Tilting is living with a chick who brings home a fella who does that and doesnt see it as her responsibility to mop that ship up when he leaves it.

[ChrisBCritter]

The trick is to take your piss BEFORE it dries out, as in, within 10 minutes or so of finishing. That, or go outside (my personal choice, but I do live in the woods...)

and bjsaust, WTF man, tell that retard to clean his own piss or expect the mop to be shoved up his ass. That's Bullshit.

[wufwugy]

fold before living with a chick

[BennyLaRue]

Everyone does that.

Guys, be proactive. Take the two seconds and squeeze the tip to bust up the gluey bidness.

[bjsaust]

Well I was going to post advice but didnt think this was the place. I use a little toilet paper and squeeze it out, all fixed.

This was 10 years ago at Uni. Guy was a one night stand. She had a lot of them.

[givememyleg]

when you go for a piss after having sex and the piss comes out in like 2 separate streams, one of which always sprays on the floor.

I'm curious to know if anyone else has this?????

wtf this happens even when i don't have sex

[yourfather]

It's like a Benny Hill episode. Benny Hill does not tilt me.

[triumphant cracker]

IRENE!!! why am i peeing like i had sex last night??!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtQ0qvNBftw

[kingnat]

People that claim that some recently released perhaps decent (but not spectacular) film is better than or as good as some classic film.

[will641]

People that claim that some recently released perhaps decent (but not spectacular) film is better than or as good as some classic film.

qfthis. it really annoys me when people just have no taste whatsoever in movies and think that the only good movies that are made came out post 1990.

[givememyleg]

haha all of our snow FINALLY finished melting last week.

we just got another foot. IT'S ALMOST FUCKIGN MAY.

hopefully it'll be gone soon.

[will641]

clearly global warming and humans are to blame.

[givememyleg]

it's all al gore's fault

[bigred]

LACK OF SLEEP

[boost]

clearly global warming and humans are to blame.

[ ] the theory of global warming states what you think it states

[Lukie]

when there is a debate on the interwebs, somebody makes a decently long point that flows together-- i.e. it may take a full paragraph to present a certain point or argument.

then some fool decides to break down each sentence or sometimes phrase and do all sorts of goofy shit to try to disprove each individual sentence, sometimes with straw man arguments and irrelevant analogies that are hard to disagree with (yet, still irrelevant) as if they somehow disproved everything yet they missed the entire point of the argument.

hyachachach

[BennyLaRue]

MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCKERS!!!

[gonefishin420]

-When people walk redicoulously slow in front of you and then stop like ass's
-When people totally suck at poker and they are luckboxes
-When the squirrels get into and break my bird feeders..i wanna shoot em
-When people lie

[JKDS]

having two finals on my 21st, a final the morning after, and another the day after, all of which need massive cramming in order to get the grade i want.

fml

[will641]

-When people walk redicoulously slow in front of you and then stop like ass's

what if its a really hot chick? either she walks ridic slow or you do, works either way imo.

-When people totally suck at poker and they are luckboxes

its totally sweet when people totally suck at poker

-When the squirrels get into and break my bird feeders..i wanna shoot em

build a squirrel catapult ldo.

-When people lie

if the lie does more damage than good to tell the truth then its okay.

[dranger7070]

Going to a party where there is literally ONLY fat chicks, and you are like one of three guys there, so you basically get raped if you drink at all. Fuck Friday night. (No, I didn't pound a porkchop lul).

My roommate. I buy a 1/2 gallon of chocolate milk like once a week so I can drink it with my breakfast and stuff. Every monday/wednesday (days i work from 3-11pm) I'll come home and sure enough, that bitch is gone. Fat piece of shit. Never offers to buy anything, and mooches off of fucking EVERYONE. Pretty sure I'm gonna karate chop him in the neck before school is out.

[BennyLaRue]

Going to a party where there is literally ONLY fat chicks

Learn how to table select. You got yourself into this.

[Luco]

It's just more cushion for pushin

As a poker player that should be second nature.

[dranger7070]

Going to a party where there is literally ONLY fat chicks

Learn how to table select. You got yourself into this.

Of course FML!!!

[Lukie]

Going to a party where there is literally ONLY fat chicks, and you are like one of three guys there, so you basically get raped if you drink at all. Fuck Friday night. (No, I didn't pound a porkchop lul).

My roommate. I buy a 1/2 gallon of chocolate milk like once a week so I can drink it with my breakfast and stuff. Every monday/wednesday (days i work from 3-11pm) I'll come home and sure enough, that bitch is gone. Fat piece of shit. Never offers to buy anything, and mooches off of fucking EVERYONE. Pretty sure I'm gonna karate chop him in the neck before school is out.

1. take a picture of you jizzing in your milk
2. replace milk carton with said picture
3. ??????
4. hilarity ensues

[BennyLaRue]

1. take a picture of you jizzing in your milk
2. replace milk carton with said picture
3. ??????
4. hilarity ensues

5. karate chop his neck while he is all exasperated
6. steal kidneys
7. ??????
8. profit

[will641]

results of the scrubs poll tilts me

[wufwugy]

when there is a debate on the interwebs,

it's called 'internet', fool

somebody makes a decently long point that flows together-- i.e. it may take a full paragraph to present a certain point or argument.

then some fool decides to break down each sentence or sometimes phrase and do all sorts of goofy shit to try to disprove each individual sentence

who says its goofy? last time i checked goofy was a disney character

sometimes with straw man arguments and irrelevant analogies that are hard to disagree with (yet, still irrelevant) as if they somehow disproved everything yet they missed the entire point of the argument.

i dunno why u insist on using ad hominens. correlation != causation and occam's razor cuts loki's wager

hyachachach

how dare you? if he didnt run so bad he would be able to buy a big house for his daughter

[kingnat]

I hate pattern type questions using words... e.g.

banana boxes drums airplane __________

Is the next word likely to be: Georgia, Persephone, meat thermometer, or sandals?


I never get them right.. like fucking never... i open some book of Mensa questions.. and I pwn the shit out of every question, and then I'll get to this and I epically fail every fucking time. So much hate.

[gonefishin420]

-When people walk redicoulously slow in front of you and then stop like ass's

what if its a really hot chick? either she walks ridic slow or you do, works either way imo.

-When people totally suck at poker and they are luckboxes

its totally sweet when people totally suck at poker

-When the squirrels get into and break my bird feeders..i wanna shoot em

build a squirrel catapult ldo.

-When people lie

if the lie does more damage than good to tell the truth then its okay.

lol thanx for breakin that down

[will641]

so its 2:30 pm, im driving down the 3 lane highway. should be clear of heavy traffic. all of a sudden we start going 20 mph, pretty lame. this goes on about a minute when i see a fucking cop who pulled somebody over and was searching their car or something. then immediately after traffic passes the cop its totally smooth. fucking rubber neckers.

oh also today at the store, i had exactly 1 item in line, so i go to the express lane (10 items or less). there is a woman with at least 30 items, she smiles and says hi. doesnt offer to let me through. i say hi, do you mind if i cut ahead, i only have 1 item. she then grudgingly sighs and says okay, like its some huge inconvenience.

[kingnat]

wife.

[BennyLaRue]

wife.

SHE DIDN'T TOUCH THE BBQ, DID SHE?

[XTR1000]

losing my wallet

[Deuce Blue]

People who wait for the last second to get in the turn lane, then don't even fully get in so you can't get around them.

People who slow WAY down to turn, then start by turning the opposite way a bit, like they are driving a damn 18 wheeler or something.

Truck drivers that want to chat everytime I back out of their truck after loading a pallet on. Then I have to stop, turn of the forklift or scream what!!! EVERY DAMN PALLET.... c'mon dude, we can chat when I'm done. Eventually I tell them to go wait in the truck.

[XTR1000]

Eventually I tell them to go wait in the truck or else Im gonna tear down to whole fucking warehouse

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ezI_LLOTVw

[Deuce Blue]

Eventually I tell them to go wait in the truck or else Im gonna tear down to whole fucking warehouse

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ezI_LLOTVw

We have that exact same pallet racking, and I put the shit up so I know it ain't stable.

[dthorne04]

the piece of shit deadbeat next door that does nothing all day but drive around in his assortment of shitty, loud vehicles, from some retarded minibike to a motorcycle, and his retarded piece of shit old honda with a dumb fucking loud exhaust system on it. and now he's been outside working on something for the past 90 minutes+ blasting shitty fucking rap with the bass cranked. YES, I WANT YOU TO FALL IN A PIT YOU FUCKING REDNECK PIECE OF SHIT FREELOADING SCUMBAG. I'M TRYING TO PLAY POKER AND IMPROVE MY WEALTH, NOT LISTEN TO YOUR SHITTY ASS SOUND SYSTEM. GOD. alsjk;dfaweriopu

[Warpe]

snow...on May fucking 9th.

[a500lbgorilla]

the piece of shit deadbeat next door that does nothing all day but drive around in his assortment of shitty, loud vehicles, from some retarded minibike to a motorcycle, and his retarded piece of shit old honda with a dumb fucking loud exhaust system on it. and now he's been outside working on something for the past 90 minutes+ blasting shitty fucking rap with the bass cranked. YES, I WANT YOU TO FALL IN A PIT YOU FUCKING REDNECK PIECE OF SHIT FREELOADING SCUMBAG. I'M TRYING TO PLAY POKER AND IMPROVE MY WEALTH, NOT LISTEN TO YOUR SHITTY ASS SOUND SYSTEM. GOD. alsjk;dfaweriopu

my degenerate gambling fck of a neighbor is up at all hours of the night masturbating furiously with curtains open. Today, I was trying to work on my late father's favorite honda while listening to that rap music he used to love. Really emotional scene. And that degenerate slime is nude doing kegel excersises in sync with the loud bass playing online poker shouting "one time!" Curtains still open.

two sides to every story, dthorne.

[will641]

[20:12] Bigspenda: Dr. C.H. Lang and colleagues from Penn State University found that even moderate drinking decreased the rate of protein synthesis by 20 percent. Alcohol interferes with the way amino acids are lined up to make specific proteins. It also blocks the action of the powerful anabolic hormone, insulin-like growth factor (IGF-1). This is important information for athletes and other weight trained athletes. Even a few drinks can erase all the work you did in the gym.
[20:14] will: so drink...just not the night you work out?
[20:15] bigspenda: or the day of
[20:15] bigspenda: preferably not the night before either
[20:15] bigspenda: but i know that's asking a lot
[20:15] will: i.e. never

[Ragnar4]

wife.

Says "nope, don't need to do anything special for Mothers day hun, go do whatever you want."

I get back from a day of doing whatever I want, and she is pissed at me, why? Because she was away from her husband all day on mothers day.

ON FUCKING TILT.

[Lukie]

[20:12] Bigspenda: Dr. C.H. Lang and colleagues from Penn State University found that even moderate drinking decreased the rate of protein synthesis by 20 percent. Alcohol interferes with the way amino acids are lined up to make specific proteins. It also blocks the action of the powerful anabolic hormone, insulin-like growth factor (IGF-1). This is important information for athletes and other weight trained athletes. Even a few drinks can erase all the work you did in the gym.
[20:14] will: so drink...just not the night you work out?
[20:15] bigspenda: or the day of
[20:15] bigspenda: preferably not the night before either
[20:15] bigspenda: but i know that's asking a lot
[20:15] will: i.e. never

file this under the 'even if it's correct, it's still not reasonable' category.

i think having a few drinks is negligible in the grand scheme of things, i'd love to read the study though.

[Lukie]

tilt: working your ass off for 4 months cutting up and looking 100x better, but since you're not fat anymore and don't fill out an oversized shirt all of a sudden you're too skinny to your family

hyachachcah

[bigspenda73]

file this under the 'even if it's correct, it's still not reasonable' category.

i think having a few drinks is negligible in the grand scheme of things, i'd love to read the study though.

I didn't read a study, just googled that to prove to Will that drinking can have an impact on muscle growth b/c he said it wasn't possible or something like that.

[will641]

i didnt say it was impossible exactly...i just didnt (and still dont) want to believe it.

[Lukie]

i didnt say it was impossible exactly...i just didnt (and still dont) want to believe it.

the effect seems overstated in the convo, specifically pointing out "even a few drinks can erase all the work you did in the gym".

regardless even if it makes a small difference, and it most certainly does, i'd argue that unless you're a professional athlete or aspiring to be one, there is a certain line that has to be drawn. like most of the time when i go out at night there is some drinking going on, whether it be at a buddy's house, a bar, party, or whatever. so while i can honestly say i don't get hammered anymore (or rarely anyway), i'm not going to completely abstain from booze just to potentially increase the results of my workouts a small amount. and i work extremely hard when i lift, believe me. i have the crazy/rage gene or whatever, apparently.

it's about being happy in life, or something like that.

[will641]

thats a good point lukie. i guess what i want out of working out is basically to sustain a good body, while doing the things i want to do. i dont really care about having totally chiseled abs or w/e and even if i did i wouldnt fool myself into thinking i have the discipline to get them.

[Lukie]

as a guy, i'd say u at least need some decent ab definition (not necessarily 'chiseled') to qualify as sustaining a 'good body', but i doubt many people would agree with me there.

sometimes that means working smarter, not harder. that means you have to accept that you're not going to be able to do everything perfect and some leeway must be given at times (for example, when out with friends or whatever). similarly, eating healthy doesn't have to be a chore.. like if you're a halfway decent cook you can spice up food to actually taste good. you can cut the standard 6 meals a day down to 4 or so and not be much worse off, if at all. for cardio you can do something you enjoy like play basketball or something, or even as something as simple as working around the house a bit before breakfast might even suffice. just be happy about it and don't constantly stress over everything, because usually the stress itself is inherently worse than what you are actually stressing about (for example, missing a meal or eating a little bit of crap).

being in great shape doesn't have to mean hitting 6 meals a day like clockwork, spending hours a day obsessing at the gym and doing cardio every morning while never eating anything and never having a drop of alcohol.

infact even if you could follow a routine like that you'll hate it anyway and eventually burn out.

blahblahblah ramblerambleramble rahrahrah

spenda abuse mod power again?

[BennyLaRue]

wife.

Says "nope, don't need to do anything special for Mothers day hun, go do whatever you want."

And you believed her? First time around women?

[will641]

here is why economics is retarded. in 5 long and boring paragraphs they explain the effects on u.s. labor markets when u.s. firms outsource, and when other countries outsource our laborers. at the end of the boring paragraphs, there is a simple sentence: "in the nations where the firms engaging in outsourcing are located, the effects are lower wages and decreased employment, and vice versa."

[BennyLaRue]

When people CC themselves on emails.

IT'S CALLED A SENT FILE, MOTHERFUCKER! USE IT.

[triumphant cracker]

Eventually I tell them to go wait in the truck or else Im gonna tear down to whole fucking warehouse

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ezI_LLOTVw

thats a good vid...
this ones better...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TcZPqdP85o&NR=1

[will641]

when discussing why we should legalize weed, somebody uses as an argument: ofc we should legalize it, i mean, its from the earth, its natural.

im for the legalization of weed, but that argument just makes all of us look bad.

[triumphant cracker]

that's a stupid argument...tobacco is from the earth too... shove that one in their face will...

[a500lbgorilla]

the day we legalize weed will be glorious. I'll shed a single tear like a true and native american.

[givememyleg]

that i don't have high def to watch planet earth

[XTR1000]

People looking forward to meet me on the felt

[OP]

that i don't have high def to watch planet earth

fold life imo
i dont even enjoy watching nature programs all that much, but hot diggity damn that show looks amazing in HD, sometimes I just leave it on in the background while I eat breakfast and get ready for work....creates a nice ambiance

[Luco]

Getting the hiccups during intercourse

[wufwugy]

running worse than anybody has ever run

[Galapogos]

running worse than anybody has ever run

I lost 17 bi in 8k hands over the past couple days playing my normal stakes bumhunting. Suck it.

[a500lbgorilla]

running worse than anybody has ever run

I lost 17 bi in 8k hands over the past couple days playing my normal stakes bumhunting. Suck it.

yah, but for you, that's pretty close expectation.

[wufwugy]

running worse than anybody has ever run

I lost 17 bi in 8k hands over the past couple days playing my normal stakes bumhunting. Suck it.

whats winning a hand like? is it even possible?