So, I crush my BF in most games...

[aubreymcfate]

Speaking of the inequality in treatment of gay men vs gay women... It could be that with guys it's more common for them to be "straight" or "gay" because of societal pressures which don't give room for bisexuality among men. While if a woman munches some rug, people don't suddenly think of her as less of a woman, or something equal to feminine but entirely separate.

This is totally true. In our society, masculinity is valued over femininity (generally speaking). Not that girls have never gotten shit for not being girly, but tomboyish girls are more accepted than feminine men, who are dismissed or ridiculed as "pansies" or "sissies." Just look at Arya from Game of Thrones. People love her. Not without good reason or anything, but it's a good example. And just generally speaking, girls can play around with their gender expression more and play up their masculinity (although truly butch women have their own unique host of problems). America loves lesbians. Flamboyant gay men are accepted because it makes sense to simple-minded folk: well he's queer so he must be girly, so fine I guess I'll live with it. And then the super-straight acting gay guys are generally regarded as a pleasant surprise. But then you have a bisexual guy, and it's almost like an affront to people's sensibilities. Like, how dare you think you can be in the boy's club and be all masculine but ALSO suck dick like a girl. Pick one or GTFO.

Clearly I think about this stuff a lot. As a fellow bisexual (I have problems with that term but it will suffice for now) and person who has done her fair share of research on queer and gender theory, I have a wealth of opinions on this.

[Chelle]

This is totally true. In our society, masculinity is valued over femininity (generally speaking). Not that girls have never gotten shit for not being girly, but tomboyish girls are more accepted than feminine men, who are dismissed or ridiculed as "pansies" or "sissies." Just look at Arya from Game of Thrones. People love her. Not without good reason or anything, but it's a good example. And just generally speaking, girls can play around with their gender expression more and play up their masculinity (although truly butch women have their own unique host of problems). Plus, America loves lesbians. Flamboyant gay men are generally accepted because it makes sense to simple-minded folk: well he's queer so he must be girly, so fine I guess I'll live with it. And then the super-straight acting gay guys are generally regarded as a pleasant surprise. But then you have a bisexual guy, and it's almost like an affront to people's sensibilities. Like, how dare you think you can be in the boy's club and be all masculine but ALSO suck dick like a girl. Pick one or GTFO.

Clearly I think about this stuff a lot. As a fellow bisexual (I actually hate that term but it will suffice for now) and person who has done her fair share of research on queer and gender theory, I have a wealth of opinions on this stuff.

Sometimes I wish FTR had a "like" button, so I could like the shit out of this.

I don't understand why people seem to think a male can't be bisexual as well. Both genders have their positives and their negatives. I mean, hell, I love the female body, and I love the male body. Even though I've never been in a relationship with a female, I wouldn't take it off the menu if boyfrand and I broke up. I've always had this weird feeling about being attracted to females even as a young teenager, and always denied it because of the area I was raised in. When I really accepted who I was, what I liked, what I thought was attractive, I started really finding myself.


As far as playing any sort of game with a significant other - I don't play video games 'cause my older brother always beat the shit out of me in all the video games and never let me win, and I'd cry. Plus - they don't seem interesting to me. I'd rather paint, read, do some crafty shit, cook, internet, or play with hair/make-ups. I have to figure out how to do my hair/make-up all 50's pin-upish for this coming weekend cause I have a modelin'-typea-shoot. But, oh god, when I do get competitive, it's bad. I brag a loooot about my cooking skills, and being able to get a wad of paper in a trash can when he misses it 90% of the time. I like to show off the things I know I'm good at, or at least hope I'm good at.

[kiwiMark]

Sometimes I wish FTR had a "like" button, so I could like the shit out of this.

HOW MANY MORE REQUESTS TILL I GET MY REPS BACK

[aubreymcfate]

Sometimes I wish FTR had a "like" button, so I could like the shit out of this.

Thanks.

I'm glad you got the chance to explore your sexuality despite your upbringing. I was lucky enough to grow up in a liberal suburb less an hour from NYC. My high school alone had a gay principal with a black tribal armband tattoo, a thriving gay-straight alliance through which I participated in an annual "Day of Silence" like the righteous little high schooler I was, and a drama/choir clique that was not ironically popular but significantly high in the social hierarchy. And I had constant, unsupervised Internet access. Despite what struggles I did have, not having access to information or general support on a community level was not one of them.

I'm pretty sure being in tune with one's sexuality is essential to achieve happiness. Our society has fucked with people so hard in regards to what they should act like, dress like, and who they should want, and how they should want them, and what you're allowed to do what with what body, and the list goes on and on. No wonder so many people are depressed as fuck and don't know why.

[Chelle]

Thanks.

I'm glad you got the chance to explore your sexuality despite your upbringing. I was lucky enough to grow up in a liberal suburb less an hour from NYC. My high school alone had a gay principal with a black tribal armband tattoo, a thriving gay-straight alliance through which I participated in an annual "Day of Silence" like the righteous little high schooler I was, and a drama/choir clique that was not ironically popular but significantly high in the social hierarchy. And I had constant, unsupervised Internet access. Despite what struggles I did have, not having access to information or general support on a community level was not one of them.

I'm pretty sure being in tune with one's sexuality is essential to achieve happiness. Our society has fucked with people so hard in regards to what they should act like, dress like, and who they should want, and how they should want them, and what you're allowed to do what with what body, and the list goes on and on. No wonder so many people are depressed as fuck and don't know why.

Oh god - you were lucky. I was raised in a very small town in the rural part of North Carolina foothills. There aren't very many open minded people when it comes to sexuality or religion, and sometimes race. I've always been the rebellious one in my family, especially when it came to the things I was brought up being spoon-fed. Even before my family got a computer in 98, I started questioning a lot of things I was being taught, then when I really learned to internet, there was no stopping my rebellious nature.

Alright - but, enough about the stories of the south. JKDS, tell your boyfran to stop being silly, if he plays you at the video games then he can expect to possibly lose. If he doesn't like it, then tell him to get better or stop playing. p.s., I'm happy for you.