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Originally Posted by aubreymcfate
before you know it, the weirdness will turn into normalcy, and the spirit of a new day will come back to you. i promise. time is the only thing that heals. that enraged me when people told me, and in an effort to be honest and not sugar-coat my advice, i expect it will be even harder for you given where you were in life with him. you won't ever forget him and you'll always carry him, but as the years go on, the loss will be come more cemented, more integrated in your life. and you are so amazing, i'll say it again, i'm in such awe. the vicious vortex of denial that i threw myself into after james died was so unhealthy - and it helped me cope, i guess - but you are like this blinding ray of sunshine in the darkest of places. i really admire you so much. <3
on a much more trivial note, does anyone here use twitter? I'm trying to maintain a livelier, more active presence on mine for work and networking purposes, and I feel like it might help if more people I know on a personal-ish level use it. i fully expect a chorus of crickets in response to this but eh, worth a try... :P
Lol, thank you. It's still odd to hear or read that from anyone. I'd really love to do very dumb things to numb myself, but I guess in my head I've worked a hell of a lot to get just where I am, and Justin was so proud of how much I had helped myself and how I had gotten in a good mental state. Of course I have moments where all I can do is cry, even as much as I fight it. But, I just keep reminding myself he didn't feel pain, and he'd want me to be happy, even if I want to be sad.
Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey
Time heals no wounds.
Only love heals.
Love yourself and understand your loss.
Strive to be open to being loved; allow your friends and family to understand and help you.
Love others and realize that no matter what happens, you are not alone.
Yep. I'm very much on self-love [in the non-pervy way], and that's how I've gotten as mentally healthy as I am. I'm not on any SSRI's, and do not want to be. Self-love, self-care, and self-worth[even though i have issues with that still] have gotten me a hell of a lot further than any medication has or ever will.
We all get caught up in such dumb mundane things, we get offended and hurt by words of others, and hell it's fucking easy to. But we all are human, we all hurt, we all love, and we all bleed. I know I sound like a damn hippie bitch right now, but if people just started loving each other, just showed each other compassion and respect the world wouldn't have as much hate and bullshit in it. I don't want to brag, but I've had a shitty card most my life, and I know we all have a certain type of shitty card, but even though all of this, I know it's going to be okay somehow. Hell, I don't want it to be, I don't want to feel better, because why should I feel better when he's gone? But, I know I will, as much as I fight the healing, it's already happening. I'm going to have scars so deep they won't be able to be repared, but I'm going to learn to cope, and to spread love. That's what I'm good at, is showing love and care and compassion, even if I lack it with myself sometimes, I love people. Even when people hurt me and treat me like shit, I love them, and I want to help them.
In other news - I bought a mic and pop filter and I'm possibly going to start recording vocals and shit. I'unno yet though, I've not even wired my desktop up.
y'alls a bunch of faggots but ily
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