Select Page
Poker Forum
Over 1,288,000 Posts!
Poker ForumFTR Community

Randomness thread, part two.

Page 346 of 400 FirstFirst ... 246296336344345346347348356396 ... LastLast
Results 25,876 to 25,950 of 29989
  1. #25876
    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    fyp.

    What he didn't mention is how long they'd been putting up with his general banana-ness before this happened.

    It's interesting that everyone at the table seemed to enjoy him getting roasted by this woman. I wonder why that might have been?

    I'll tell you one thing. If you act like a decent guy, most people don't get off on seeing you getting abused.
    It has to be said, I shared my opinion based on what little information I have been given. You shared an opinion based on your prejudgments and assumptions of banana as an individual.

    You should try to be more objective.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  2. #25877
    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    Haha, that's probably exactly what he would do.
    you're not totally wrong
  3. #25878
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    It has to be said, I shared my opinion based on what little information I have been given. You shared an opinion based on your prejudgments and assumptions of banana as an individual.

    You should try to be more objective.
    My opinions were based on experiencing his behaviour. Could be wrong, maybe he's Joe Polite in the card room, but somehow I doubt it.

    You, on the other hand, assumed everything he said was the truth, which strikes me as broadly naive. Pretty much everyone I've ever known tries to make themselves look better and their opponent look worse when they relate these kinds of incidents.


    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    You should try to be more objective.
    You should try to understand it usually takes two to fight.
  4. #25879
    If my kid's teacher was telling me that he called another kid a "cunt", I'd give the little shit a bollocking for saying it loud enough for an adult to hear. I'd teach him some milder words that would come across as badass for a kid to insult other kids, but funny enough that the teachers would struggle to take the matter seriously. One suggestion would be turd burglar. Or dinner masher. Arse bandit. Vagina decliner. They all mean the same thing. Perhaps intelligent insults too, such as Oedipus, which is basically a clever way of saying motherfucker.

    Cunt is an ok word to use if you're cool with the consequences, which in this case is docked pocket money, which I'll spend on a beer for me to drink while I sit there secretly proud of my son.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  5. #25880
    You, on the other hand, assumed everything he said was the truth, which strikes me as broadly naive.
    There's the difference between you and me, I guess. You're looking for reasons to assume something isn't true, while I'm not. If what he says isn't the whole story, then my opinion may well change. Until those facts are disclosed, my opinion doesn't change.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  6. #25881
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    If my kid's teacher was telling me that he called another kid a "cunt", I'd give the little shit a bollocking for saying it loud enough for an adult to hear .
    Would you still do that if you were just kicked out of a casino the night before for calling someone a cunt? Seems to me that'd be a bit hypocritical.
  7. #25882
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    There's the difference between you and me, I guess. You're looking for reasons to assume something isn't true, while I'm not. If what he says isn't the whole story, then my opinion may well change. Until those facts are disclosed, my opinion doesn't change.
    I'm not looking for reasons to believe or disbelieve anything. It's just common sense that there's two sides to every story and onny hearing one side gives you a biased view.
  8. #25883
    why in the world would i give a biased account of things? Do you really think im trying to win hearts and minds in this forum???
  9. #25884
    I don't think any of the shit being given to you is necessarily fair but at the same time you are so in the wrong and come across as such a dick that you're a loser. The fact you go about your ex being a cunt so badly is hilarious and you're basically an up your own ass cunt. You'll never change and I'm glad about that because I don't particularly like you.
  10. #25885
    Your post about being an angry cunt is really funny because your ex got you to go to angry cunt class from all of this whilst you literally got nothing and were never going to benefit from the situation. The way you tried to spin it is admirable but at no point was she ever losing bar (LOOOKING CRAZY) yet you still have to go to anger classes and pay ridiculous money for your kids. Which you recently told me you didn't have to.

    This has literally made me laugh so much I'm tempted to pay for your travel.

    In fact where do you live? I might fly down there just to drop a load in your ex for lulz.
  11. #25886
    Quote Originally Posted by Savy View Post
    Your post about being an angry cunt is really funny because your ex got you to go to angry cunt class from all of this whilst you literally got nothing and were never going to benefit from the situation. The way you tried to spin it is admirable but at no point was she ever losing bar (LOOOKING CRAZY) yet you still have to go to anger classes and pay ridiculous money for your kids. Which you recently told me you didn't have to.

    This has literally made me laugh so much I'm tempted to pay for your travel.

    In fact where do you live? I might fly down there just to drop a load in your ex for lulz.

    In b4 banana threatens your life, gets banned from FTR, and goes on another online forum to tell his story of how unfair it all is and how he couldn't have handled it any better.
  12. #25887
    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    In b4 banana threatens your life, gets banned from FTR, and goes on another online forum to tell his story of how unfair it all is and how he couldn't have handled it any better.
    I'm more than happy to meet the chap if he's up for a visit, same is true for anyone from FTR. If you're in Manchester let me know we'll go for a pint.

    That being said his recent rants show him for a pretty sad get angry man who thinks that getting someone to shut up is the optimal decision. I don't think the following is true but he also comes across in his own posts as pretty abusive to his ex which is fairly worrying.

    I'm from the UK and use the word cunt much more liberally than 90% of people and even I understand that it's a particularly offsensive word to call a woman. Whilst he is wrong about all that poker stuff I don't even mind shutting her down but you can do that so much more effectively and with less backlash than calling her a cunt.
  13. #25888
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    That is definitely not how the word cunt works here in England. It's derogatory to anyone it is directed at.



    Is it gender based? Really? Just because it refers to female genetalia, doesn't mean it's a women-only insult. Just like a person of any gender can be a dick. Or a cock. Or a pussy. Or any other insult that is also used to describe gender-exclusive body parts.

    She called him a retard. At that point, the gloves are off. You cannot call someone a retard, and then claim to be offended when they call you a cunt. And yes, she chose to be a cunt. To be a cunt is not necessarily to have a cunt.

    There was no bigotry.
    I missed this before.

    Cunt has a different connotation as an insult in the UK than in N. America. It's much more commonly-used and less offensive here.

    In N. America, you would never call a man a cunt. So yes, it has a gender connotation. And it's super rude. I don't even know what the equivalent would be here but think of a word like 'tart' and multiply the insult factor by about 2. Think of a word that if a guy called your gf that you'd be tempted to punch him in the face. That's what it means to call a woman a cunt in N. America.
  14. #25889
    Quote Originally Posted by Savy View Post
    If you're in Manchester let me know we'll go for a pint.
    Sounds like fun.


    Quote Originally Posted by Savy View Post
    I'm from the UK and use the word cunt much more liberally than 90% of people and even I understand that it's a particularly offsensive word to call a woman. Whilst he is wrong about all that poker stuff I don't even mind shutting her down but you can do that so much more effectively and with less backlash than calling her a cunt.
    Come to think of it i've never heard a man call a woman a cunt here either, at least not in public and not to her face. I've only seen it thrown around in general terms, like saying 'he's a cunt' or so forth.
  15. #25890
    The funny thing is I'm about to get kicked out of my wow guild because a trial was being really arsey with me and I destroyed her. The difference is I realise I acted completely inappropriately and am out of order. I just enjoyed the reaction/
  16. #25891
    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    Sounds like fun.
    Yeah because if you're in Manchester with no one who knows anyone on a business trip you're far too busy....

    Also I didn't get kicked. Bad times.
  17. #25892
    Quote Originally Posted by poop
    Think of a word that if a guy called your gf that you'd be tempted to punch him in the face.
    I think the words "slag" and "slut" spring to mind. If that's how the word "cunt" is perceived in USA, well I guess I have to concede that banana used discriminatory language, which is going to fuck his sexual discrimination litigation right up the arse.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  18. #25893
    If ever I'm in Manchester, I won't be able to meet you for a pint because I'll be too busy doing whatever I'm doing as fast as possible so I can get the fuck out of Manchester.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  19. #25894
    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post
    I don't imagine if one of your kids was in trouble at school for dropping the c-bomb on someone that you'd just pat them on the back and say, "nice one.
    I had a conversation recently with my 9 year old about some kids who were hassling her at the after school program. The "adults" on duty are barely babysitters and if there's a spat between two kids, they just shut it down and scold both kids. So my daughter is getting picked on, and is afraid to retaliate because she's afraid of getting in trouble.

    I explained to her that she should retaliate...hard. No one is going to solve her problems for her. She can't rely on helicopter adults to swoop in every time there is a problem and set things right. Growing up is hard. Not every kid she meets is going to be nice and friendly. But the bully kids figure out pretty quickly who they can pick on, and who they can't. Let them know that they can't pick on you, however you have to.

    If you get in trouble, and face consequences, take them. Schools have to manage lots of kids, so they have to set rules and stick to them, even when it's not always the exact right thing to do. Missing recess is a small price to pay for letting a bully know that you won't be fucked with. And if you come home and tell me that you got in trouble for standing up for yourself, I'll never be angry.

    Jesus said 'the meek will inherit the earth'. What little bible study I have done says that the word 'meek' was either improperly translated, or that the definition has moved over the last two thousand years. It didn't always mean 'gentle and submissive'. It was more like "Those who have swords, and know how to use them, but keep them sheathed except when absolutely necessary, will inherit the earth"

    We've gotten to a place in society where moral virtue is equated with obedient cowardice. That's flat out wrong. Moral virtue means that you have the capability to be a monster, but control it, and choose to follow the rules. But you're more than willing to break the rules for a just cause. And god help whoever compelled you to break the rules. That's what morality is.

    So yeah, if some 4th grade whore was bullying my kid, and my kid decided to respond by saying "Hey cunt, how's your mom's pill addiction? Why don't you tell the rest of the class how many sleepover friends she's had this month?"....then I'd probably take her out for ice cream.
  20. #25895
    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    All of 1-3 are out as wussy,
    +1. MMM, if you need this explained to you, grow some balls.
  21. #25896
    Quote Originally Posted by Savy View Post
    Your post about being an angry cunt is really funny because your ex got you to go to angry cunt class from all of this whilst you literally got nothing and were never going to benefit from the situation.
    What the fuck are you talking about? Can you even read? She spent $30,000 hiring a professional harasser to harass me. Did you read how much shit they tried to pile on me? The best they could do after two friggen years is make me go to 8 hours of angry cunt classes.

    What do you mean I got nothing? What do you mean I was never going to benefit from the situation? Of course I would never benefit! She created this whole situation by being a failure as a mother. She chose to deal with that by trying to label any criticism of her behavior as hate-motivated personal disparagement. Who really loses when that happens? Hint: it's not me.

    Last year I went an entire school year without getting a letter from the Principal complaining about excessive absences and tardiness. First year that's ever happened. How can you say "I got nothing"? Just that is a monumental victory for the kids.

    I'm sure you're thinking that there are two sides to every story. But the fact is, she was not even forty and had more rings than Belichick. I know you're British, so go google who that is. Now imagine what kind of sicko cunt you have to be to accumulate that kind of jewelry collection in under four decades.

    The way you tried to spin it is admirable but at no point was she ever losing bar (LOOOKING CRAZY) yet you still have to go to anger classes
    Going to anger classes was the best possible outcome for me. She wasn't ever going to agree to a full surrender. Ever. I'd have to hire a lawyer and fight her and win. A fucking trial lawyer is NOT cheap (she spent $30K on hers). and I still have to pay him, even if I lose.

    Pretend you liked me for a minute and think about this. If you were my friend, what advice would you give me A) Drop five figures and fight the bitch. Try to convince a randomly selected judge that it's ok to impugn a mother of 3 during the #metoo era. B) Burn a sick day at kumbaya school

    I was literally facing the possibility of losing parental rights and owing my ex wife thirty grand. Instead, I leveraged a position so strongly that this is all I have to do. Without a lawyer of my own! She eats the money. She gets no apology. And she cleans up her act. I'm quite SURE both lawyers told her "i can't defend you when you can't even get your kids to school, cunt!" One of them didn't even give her the chance. She just quit!!

    and pay ridiculous money for your kids. Which you recently told me you didn't have to.
    Wut? The total stands at $0

    This has literally made me laugh so much I'm tempted to pay for your travel.
    There is literally no force on earth that would get me to leave North America.

    In fact where do you live?
    New Better Hampshire.

    I might fly down there just to drop a load in your ex for lulz.
    I'll film it. We can title the DVD "Stubby Wanker Cunt Hunt"
    Last edited by BananaStand; 08-08-2018 at 01:48 AM.
  22. #25897
    Had my first anger class today. It went like this:

    Me: [Here's my story about my cunt ex wife]
    Him: Holy shit I have my work cut out for me!
    Me: Wut? Really?
    Him: No, not really. That was sarcastic. Wanna just check in and chat by phone for the next seven weeks?

    #optimalsolution.
  23. #25898
    Dude anger management is easy. Roll a fucking joint.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  24. #25899
    Peanut butter and jam sandwiches (and on toast) wtf is that about? 3/10 would not eat again
  25. #25900
    try marshmallow fluff
  26. #25901
    CoccoBill's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    2,256
    Location
    Finding my game
    The US has hands down the best junk food in the world. It's just that that's all they have.
    Our brains have just one scale, and we resize our experiences to fit.

  27. #25902
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    try marshmallow fluff
    That seems like effort.

    Quote Originally Posted by CoccoBill View Post
    The US has hands down the best junk food in the world. It's just that that's all they have.
    US chocolate is pretty awful though.
  28. #25903
    Quote Originally Posted by Savy View Post
    That seems like effort.
    It's the same effort as peanut butter.

    Quote Originally Posted by Savy View Post
    US chocolate is pretty awful though.
    On the back of the marshmallow fluff container, you'll find a fudge recipe that's pretty unstoppable.
  29. #25904
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    It's the same effort as peanut butter.


    On the back of the marshmallow fluff container, you'll find a fudge recipe that's pretty unstoppable.
    Fudge isn't chocolate. I agree with the general statement that the US has the best sweet treats but mostly by virtue of having the most period.

    And it isn't because I buy peanut butter occasionally to eat and my mum usually has some form of jam in the house which I wouldn't usually eat but thought I'd try a PB&J butty. Marshmallow fluff doesn't get bought and isn't even a common thing in the UK. After looking on tesco's website they don't even seem to sell it.

    I would really like to try a proper deep dish pizza though.
  30. #25905
    Quote Originally Posted by Savy View Post
    Fudge isn't chocolate. I agree with the general statement that the US has the best sweet treats but mostly by virtue of having the most period.
    We also invented apple pie. But we don't get to brag about that anymore since there are a fair number of epic retards who make it with nutmeg instead cinnamon. So anytime you eat an apple pie in America, there is like a 40% chance it tastes like sewage. I sincerely hope all the nutmeg people get kidnapped by Al Qaeada.

    And it isn't because I buy peanut butter occasionally to eat and my mum usually has some form of jam in the house which I wouldn't usually eat but thought I'd try a PB&J butty.
    You live with your mum? She still buys your food?

    Marshmallow fluff doesn't get bought and isn't even a common thing in the UK. After looking on tesco's website they don't even seem to sell it.
    If the British government ever let you fully realize what life is like off that wretched island of yours, they'd never be able to keep the peace. How can you expect there to be order if Brits found out that there were places where you could get marshmallow spreads, or where the sun shines more than 4 days a year, or where 6 out of 10 newborn babies aren't named Mohammed.

    I would really like to try a proper deep dish pizza though.
    Your mum should let you out of the house more. There's really nothing special about deep dish pizza. It's just pizza cooked in a deeper pan. What's preventing this from existing in the UK?
  31. #25906
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    We also invented apple pie. But we don't get to brag about that anymore since there are a fair number of epic retards who make it with nutmeg instead cinnamon. So anytime you eat an apple pie in America, there is like a 40% chance it tastes like sewage. I sincerely hope all the nutmeg people get kidnapped by Al Qaeada.

    You live with your mum? She still buys your food?

    If the British government ever let you fully realize what life is like off that wretched island of yours, they'd never be able to keep the peace. How can you expect there to be order if Brits found out that there were places where you could get marshmallow spreads, or where the sun shines more than 4 days a year, or where 6 out of 10 newborn babies aren't named Mohammed.

    Your mum should let you out of the house more. There's really nothing special about deep dish pizza. It's just pizza cooked in a deeper pan. What's preventing this from existing in the UK?
    People were eating apple pies before your country existed lol.

    I do live with my mum and unfortunately she doesn't buy my food or cook for me. Well slightly less unfortunate as I wouldn't choose to eat her food through choice.

    I'm confused what you're on about Americans are renowned for not travelling and when they do they go to places right next time them whilst I can literally get on a train and go to pretty much any country in Europe.

    I'm sure they do exist in the UK but they just aren't a common thing. Most american stuff tends to be pretty meek immitations of immigrants from various European countries. So our pizzas tend to be much more like Italian variations.
  32. #25907
    Quote Originally Posted by Savy View Post
    I do live with my mum and unfortunately she doesn't buy my food or cook for me.
    Nudes?
  33. #25908
    We also invented apple pie.
    Nope, that's ours as best I can tell. We have a recipe dating back to 1381. That's around the time of the decline of Cahokia, to give you an idea of what stage of North American history that was.

    We brought apple pie to USA, along with the Dutch, who also have recipes dating back further than the entire history of USA.

    Also, apple pie is vastly inferior to apple crumble.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  34. #25909
    Apple strudel is better, too. Europeans can do apple better than USA.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  35. #25910
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    We brought apple pie to USA, along with the Dutch, who also have recipes dating back further than the entire history of USA.
    Learn your history. What you brought to the USA might have been called apple pie but it was actually tree turds baked in dough. It's not the same thing.

    People didn't do shit with apples, except make cider and bad pie, back in those days. They didn't even taste good until the American colonists flouted your pansy plant cloning techniques and planted the seeds directly in our capitalist soil. After that a new array of native species were born, and Johnny Appleseed planted them from sea to shining sea.

    350 years later we put a man on the moon an Britain didn't.

    You do the math.
  36. #25911
    So what you mean to say is America reinvented apple pie.

    I must ask though, how the fuckity fuck do you know apple pie tasted shit when we brought it to USA?

    And also, since you guys have such a hard on for apples, why don't you make good cider?
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  37. #25912
    Also, since you have such a hard on for the moon, might I ask, who got into space first? That was the Soviets, so the space you had to travel through to get to the moon was Soveit territory. I hope you're losing that boner.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  38. #25913
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    I must ask though, how the fuckity fuck do you know apple pie tasted shit when we brought it to USA?
    Because no one, and I mean literally ZERO people said "Hey, fuck these new and better apples, I like the tree-turds we used to get from those faggy Brits"


    why don't you make good cider?
    Trick question. No cider is good.
  39. #25914
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    9,661
    Location
    St Louis, MO
    Reinvented? Made it not suck, you mean.

    Just like we did with your ridiculous version of the English language that didn't have words like robot and cyborg until we came along and showed you how extremely dumb it is to have a language without those words.

    And you still cry about how you invented the language and get to say how to use it. lol.
    You gave us an inadequate POS language and we made it into ebonics.
    You're welcome.
  40. #25915
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    the space you had to travel through to get to the moon was Soveit territory. I hope you're losing that boner.
    I don't get it. Conquering soviet territory is supposed to make me soft?
  41. #25916
    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post
    Reinvented? Made it not suck, you mean.

    Just like we did with your ridiculous version of the English language that didn't have words like robot and cyborg until we came along and showed you how extremely dumb it is to have a language without those words.

    And you still cry about how you invented the language and get to say how to use it. lol.
    You gave us an inadequate POS language and we made it into ebonics.
    You're welcome.
    not so fast there monkey boy. We did erroneously stigmatize the word 'cunt'. So let's not go around flexing the linguistic muscles too much.

    That being said, it's 100x more bad ass to say "fuckin'" instead of "bloody"
  42. #25917
    That being said, it's 100x more bad ass to say "fuckin'" instead of "bloody"
    Here's where you demonstrate how actually you guys haven't mastered our language. I mean, these words are similar, but totally different. You can say "bloody 'ell" in front of your Nan and you'd get nothing more than a tut. Say "fuckin' hell" in front of her and she might write you out of her will.

    You can't say "bloody" in front of kids though. Replace with "bloomin'" if there are minors within earshot.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  43. #25918
    As for apples, I'm sure the old ones are shit compared to the new ones. However, if I only knew the old ones existed, then maybe they taste good.

    When you got your first blow job, did you suddenly think hand jobs were shit?
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  44. #25919
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    Here's where you demonstrate how actually you guys haven't mastered our language. I mean, these words are similar, but totally different. You can say "bloody 'ell" in front of your Nan and you'd get nothing more than a tut. Say "fuckin' hell" in front of her and she might write you out of her will. .
    My statement was about which phrase sounded more badass. You basically just agreed with me while simultaneously declaring that your Nan is a prude bitch.
  45. #25920
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    When you got your first blow job, did you suddenly think hand jobs were shit?
    Yeah. That's the point. I'm not sure what your point is.

    Are you saying that it's reasonable for a man who has been getting blowjobs to suddenly turn to his partner and say "How about you rest your gag reflex tonight and give me the 'old fashion' instead baby?"

    That would be the equivalent of going back to British apples. Only a feminized cuck pussy would do that.

    The rest of us grab her by the hair and choke the shit out of her.
  46. #25921
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    My statement was about which phrase sounded more badass. You basically just agreed with me while simultaneously declaring that your Nan is a prude bitch.
    I dunno, I mean you guys are so fixated on what *sounds* badass. Who gives a fuck? What matters is what *actually is* badass.

    I mean, picture these two scenarios...
    1) 15 year old kid on a bike tells you to fuck yourself, before cycling off at speed, or
    2) gentleman with a tie pointing a gun at you, threatening to "take your bloomin' face off".

    Which is more badass?
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  47. #25922
    Are you saying that it's reasonable for a man who has been getting blowjobs to suddenly turn to his partner and say "How about you rest your gag reflex tonight and give me the 'old fashion' instead baby?"
    Not at all. However, imagine your lady friend has just returned from the dentist, and she is unable to do her duty with her mouth. You're gonna turn down a hand shandy because you like new apples?
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  48. #25923
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    Not at all. However, imagine your lady friend has just returned from the dentist, and she is unable to do her duty with her mouth. You're gonna turn down a hand shandy because you like new apples?
    no, I'd bend her over the arm of the couch and show her how I make Banana cream pie.
  49. #25924
    Quote Originally Posted by OngBonga View Post
    I mean, picture these two scenarios...
    1) 15 year old kid on a bike tells you to fuck yourself, before cycling off at speed, or
    2) gentleman with a tie pointing a gun at you, threatening to "take your bloomin' face off".

    Which is more badass?
    Kid on a bike. Not even close.
  50. #25925
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    Kid on a bike. Not even close.
    Like I say, fixated on what "sounds" badass. All the kid did was swear and then fuck off. Am I badass for simply saying that? Gentleman has a gun and is pointing it at someone, making threats. He could have a stutter and he'd still be badass.

    "I-I-I'm g-g-g-gonna take your b-b-b-bloomin' FFFace off"
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  51. #25926
    Jack Sawyer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    7,669
    Location
    Jack-high straight flush motherfucker
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    That costs shitloads of $$ because we don't live in some socialist cuck-paradise.
    This had me literally ROFLing, but even so ...


    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    So this really isn't a complaint about different rules or double standards. And I really don't want to go out on the sexism/misogyny tangent.

    Here's why I bring this up...I'll try to be brief. [EDIT: Sorry I wasn't]

    My ex wife is a cunt. I mean, she's a real disgusting, stretched out, busted ravioli with a yeast infection. That being said, I don't care. She has to live with herself now, I don't. I'm only concerned with her behavior to the degree that it affects the children. They're young and can't speak for themselves.

    My oldest can't say to my ex-wife: "Mom, it's not ok for me to be tardy 18 times in one school quarter. This is the fifth year in a row the school has sent you a letter about this. Get your fucking act together in the morning"

    My middle daughter can't say: "Mom, my cheer leading team performs at the football games. I can't miss one because you're hungover"

    My youngest can't say: "Mom, I go to an outdoor summer camp where I play outdoors in wooded areas and swim in lake water. I constantly apply bug spray and sunscreen all day long. I need to be bathed more than once a week"

    I have to say those things. And many many many many many many many many others. Now this cunt is a weak, spineless snowflake and absolutely hates criticism. So she ignores these things. And then I'll repeat them a little more emphatically. Then she dodges. Then I repeat. And she deflects. Then I repeat, and she denies.

    Deny, dodge, deflect, deceive. That's her playbook. So then every conversation is a cross-examination. Eventually, through incremental increases of "minimum necessary force" these conversations escalate to the point where I express all of my anger and frustration and say something along the lines of "Knock off the fucking innocent act. Get your shit together and be a better mother.". At those times, I'm emphatic, forceful, foul-mouthed, and authoritative.

    She hates that. She'd rather be stabbed in the taint than be criticized. It's why she had 3 ex's before age 40. I once joked with her lawyer "Your client has more rings than Belichick! Do you really think she's easy to get along with!!" Sadly, that's not really a joke. She will not admit fault, or apologize, ever. For anything. She will fight, and debate, and pull every bullshit argument from the bowels of her imagination to avoid losing a fight.

    When you're married to a person, and have to live with them, you often 'ease-up' when your message is finally received. You don't push for total victory. You might make some concessions in the name of peace.

    I no longer have that problem. So now when we have these arguments, there's no calming reconcilation. There's no "we're both sorry" moments. It's just her, and her failures. And me, calling them out and demanding that she address them.

    Now I choose my words very carefully. She would have a point if I was going around, dropping c-bombs on her all the time, calling her names, and insulting her personally. Every criticism that I've made of her has been in direct response to one of her behaviors that had a direct negative result on the children. It just so happens that there were ALOT of those criticisms.

    So rather than address her own baggage, this cunt hired a lawyer. Told the lawyer that I'm verbally abusive. Now there is some language in the divorce decree that says we can't go around shitting on each other and saying critical things. For example...this post is a major violation of that clause. So she felt like she had a legal case to enforce some consequences.

    The lawyer sent me a letter stating the complaint. It gave examples of harsh things I've said. It threatened to take further action, etc etc etc.

    I responded to the lawyer telling the WHOLE story.



    Then that lawyer QUIT!!!

    Can you imagine??!! She hired a lawyer saying "Please help me stop this abuse". Then the lawyer looked into it, and told her "You deserve the abuse, fuck off"

    I made it very clear in my response that all of these problems would go away if she would just meet some minimum standard of parenting. She resented that, and things continued as they always have.

    Eventually, she got a new lawyer and tried again. This time, they didn't send me a warning letter. They went directly to filing a restraining order. Now I don't know what you know about RO's. But you can just go to the police, and ask for one. They'll give it to you with almost no requirements at all. Then about a month later, you go to court and argue whether or not its legit.

    Almost immediately after filing the RO, they followed up with an "offer". (Fucking games, right?). Basically they said I have to stay away from her house (I've never gone there uninvited), and I can't say mean things to her anymore. Then they figured that while they have me over a barrell, they'd try and get me to agree to let my ex wife have full decision making rights over the children's mental health treatment.

    My kids don't have mental health problems. She just thinks they would be easier to manage if they were on drugs.

    Anyway, I told them to fuck off. "see you in court". I knew, and they knew, that the RO would fail. I've never threatened anyone. I'm not violent. It's a completely ridiculous measure whose only real intent is to bully me into an unfavorable agreement, for no reason.

    So I stood my ground and told them to fuck off. Eventually, at the 11th hour, they decided to withdraw the RO (imagine that). And instead they decided to file some kind of motion of violation of divorce agreement blah blah blah. What followed was a year and a half of hell.

    Shortly after that, I convinced them to drop the motion as well. They realized that their position was just untenable. And they gave up. But not without warnings to "be nice". Then some months later she fucked up again. This time regarding some dental work my middle daughter needed. My kid had some fear of the dentist and my ex wife decided that wasn't something she wanted to contend with. She just decided to let the kid get the tooth pulled under anesthesia.

    That costs shitloads of $$ because we don't live in some socialist cuck-paradise. I insisted that we work with the kid to face her fear, and let this be a lesson learned about brushing your damn teeth. In any event, I'm not paying half of an $8K bill to pull a baby tooth just because the kid is nervous around needles. My exact statement to my ex was...

    "You can't be this ineffective"

    ^That's it. That's the verbal abuse that set the whole world off. They re-filed their motion with two years of my greatest quotes. This time they wanted ALL medical decision making rights. They wanted me to reimburse $30K in legal fees. They wanted me to go to couples therapy with her. And "any other measures the court deems necessary"

    All because I called her ineffective parenting "ineffective".

    So once again, I walked the lawyer through her client's failings. Explained WHY I said the things I said. I explained, and illustrated with documented texts the ENTIRETY of these conversations that doesn't paint my ex in a very good light.

    Then suddenly....they dont' want to go to court. But after dropping the RO, and dropping this motion once already....they can't do it a third time without looking like total fools who are just out to harass me. So they're in kind of a bad spot. They can't give up. But if they go forward, they probably won't win. They might, but they probably won't.

    That put me in kind of a bad spot. They won't drop this, so I have to go before a judge and explain why it's totally justified and reasonable to continually call my ex wife a bad mother, lazy, useless, and ineffective.

    She's got a lawyer. I don't. She's a woman. I'm a man. She can cite her PhD as a reason why she should have sole responsibility for the kids' psychological care. I can only cite anecdotes of her idiocy.

    So my chances of losing are low, but they aren't zero. And the stakes are high. If she's allowed to put these kids on pills, they're done. They might as well just get lobotomized now. I dont' want to lose medical rights regarding my kids. I don't want to risk having to pay her $30K. I don't want her feeling empowered, justified, or righteous here. She really is a fucking cunt to these kids.

    So after a year and a half of hell, I finally negotiated the best possible settlement I could. No money. I retain all parental rights. No adjustments to the parenting plan. No adjustments to the divorce decree. No admission of guilt. No acceptance of fault. No apologies required. No battles in court. All I have to do is go to 8 sessions of anger-management therapy and she agreed to drop this.

    Because in her mind, if my utterances are just the rantings of an unhinged maniac, she doesn't have to contend with what I'm actually saying. And in order for her to be able to label me as such, there has to be some kind of "punishment".

    That's how she works. She has to win something. After all this, she thinks she's victorious. Even though the last thing I said to her during mediation was "Yes I said these things, and I realize how some of them might have been tactical errors, but the sentiment was sincere"

    Her parenting has DRAMATICALLY improved. Literally night and day. So I feel quite victorious.

    But tomorrow, I go for my first anger-management therapy session. And I have no fucking idea what to do. In this situation with my ex wife, I feel like I did everything a reasonable person could do before escalating. I feel like I used incremental amounts of minimal-necessary-force until I got the result I needed. I feel like I actually did get results from her. Being nice didn't work. Being tough does. Why be nice?

    I feel like my anger was managed entirely appropriately. I used as much restraint as possible. The words I used were apt, and appropriate. And I always acted in the best interest of my children. I never engaged in any kind of petty personal issue. The kids need to get to school on time. They need showers. They need food packed in their lunchboxes that doesn't have mold on it. These really shouldn't be things I have to say at all. Yet I did say them, and got no response. When I was a bully, shit got done.

    Same thing with this poker skank. I did nothing to provoke her. She was asked nicely to stop, twice. She should know better anyway. I can't allow her to continue. I can't respond in kind. That will escalate the problem to worse levels. I want her behavior to stop, immediately, and I shouldn't have to work very hard to make that happen. She's already shown that she doesn't respect civil requests. She's already shown that she's not going to respect any lines of decorum. So what options are left? Just a finishing blow.

    So I'm truly asking the group. Does this sound like someone who needs anger-management? Does this sound like someone who needs therapy to control his anger? Because I feel pretty strongly that I showed incredibly proficient control over my emotions. I chose my words carefully. I knew exactly what my goal was, and chose the minimum necessary force to achieve that goal.

    Now I realize why I got thrown out of the place. They have 250 poker players in a room, I don't blame them for having a zero tolerance policy. And I have no problem taking a night off if it gets my point across. When I got thrown out, I didn't argue. Didn't make a scene. Didn't say another word. I just racked up, cashed out, and left. I'm not here complaining about how I was treated by anyone other than this skank.

    I guess my question is...what do I say to this therapist tomorrow? I feel like I can be uncivil to people in a way that is controlled, appropriate, and completely apt for the situation. I feel like I do this to minimize conflict by ending it immediately. I feel like I do this with the best intentions, and often I get the result I desire. Almost no one who knows me would describe me as an angry person. The only people who think of me like that are people who either A) Abused my children or B) Made unprovoked, unnecessary or inappropriate insults toward me and refused civil requests to stop. So really it's just three people. My ex wife, this poker skank, and Oskar.

    TL/DR: I'm a nice guy until being a nice guy doesn't work anymore. Then I'm a bully. That works. Why be nice?
    Dude, I know we've had our differences. But I truly feel bad for you.

    If you ever need to vent or smth, you know where to find me.
    My dream... is to fly... over the rainbow... so high...


    Cogito ergo sum

    VHS is like a book? and a book is like a stack of kindles.
    Hey, I'm in a movie!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYdwe3ArFWA
  52. #25927
    Sometimes when people ask me what I do for a living, I will say

    Ive spent the last five years looking for my ex wifes killer.......no one will do it
  53. #25928
    Quote Originally Posted by BananaStand View Post
    Sometimes when people ask me what I do for a living, I will say

    Ive spent the last five years looking for my ex wifes killer.......no one will do it
    Just stop paying her food bill.
  54. #25929
    CoccoBill's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    2,256
    Location
    Finding my game
    Quote Originally Posted by Savy View Post
    I agree with the general statement that the US has the best sweet treats but mostly by virtue of having the most period.
    No. No no no. Absolutely not. Nuh-uh. They have the best junk food, aka burgers, tex mex, bbq etc unhealthy savoury crap, but that does not include candy and sweets. I'm even hesitant to add bakeries and dessert stuff like that. Important distinction.
  55. #25930
    oskar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    6,712
    Location
    in ur accounts... confiscating ur funz
    Quote Originally Posted by Savy View Post
    proper deep dish pizza
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxymoron




    When it comes to sweets, I think the US is only the second worst country, thanks to Turkey. All your stuff is way too sweet.

    Apricot dumplings. Plums and peaches also work great:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jTAScEQ7ZvU
    I make those all the time. I usually make a couple dozen at once and freeze them. I like them with potato dough. I couldn't find a recipy I like, but this is close enough.

    Banana bread:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mn-zWM5Qz3s
    The entire channel is amazing.

    Tangyuan:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eU7hJF5rbek
    Last edited by oskar; 08-12-2018 at 08:53 AM.
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  56. #25931
    Was my Grandma's 90th Birthday so we bust out the old photos. Two I'd never seen before. 1862, taken in Britain. My great great great grandfather, the spittin image of Charlie Day, looking his dapperist. And my great great great grandmother looking young and beautiful, perfecting her bitchy resting face.

    I can't stop thinking about them. The only person we both knew was my great grandmother, whom I knew as old and frail yet they knew as a vibrant child. Their generation is so distant from mine that none of their offspring left living even looks like them. And, yet, it's utterly fascinating to me, to see these this young couple that lived during the era of the Civil War. They could never know of the world I know, they probably didn't even imagine that 150 years later, their descendants would know what they looked like.

    It riles the imagination. Who even were they?
  57. #25932
    oskar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    6,712
    Location
    in ur accounts... confiscating ur funz
    really gets the noggin joggin
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  58. #25933
    I wonder about that too. I've seen pictures of most of my great grandparents and know what they did for a living, who served in what war, etc., but not really anything else. My one grandma told me a bit about her parent's personalities but that's the extent of it. Forget anyone from further back, they could be anyone for all I know.

    Then I think, there's 8 great-grandparents and 16 great-great and so on. So you go back 200 hundred years to 1818 and there's over 1000 different people in your lineage, assuming 20ish years per generation. Were any of them great? Were any murderers? What did they think about things? It's fascinating to ponder.

    Then I go back another 200 years to 1618 and there's over a million ancestors. It's crazy. We're probably all related in some way or another; banana is Oskar's fifty-ninth cousin from the eighteenth century or something.
  59. #25934
    oskar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    6,712
    Location
    in ur accounts... confiscating ur funz
    There's a great visualization in Richard Dawkin's childrens book Magic of Reality. If you were to print a series of books that contained pictures of all your ancestors, and you lined them up, you would need a shelf a couple dozen kilometers long. Let's say you are standing by the latest volume and you take a couple of steps and decide to open one of the volumes at random. You'd probably expect to see some type of caveman with raggedy hair, but what you'd actually see would be a lot closer to a fish.
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  60. #25935
    And at the far end you have your great-to-the-billionth grandfather Amos the Amoeba.

    I wonder how much of the fishfather's genes are still in you. Is there something distinct about you that can be traced back to him/her/it, like the size of your fingers or whatever? I guess if you have webbed toes you know who to blame at least.
  61. #25936
    oskar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    6,712
    Location
    in ur accounts... confiscating ur funz
    Everyone probably knows that we share 98.something % of our dna with chimps. What not everyone is aware of is that they share 90.something % of their dna with their cat. We have all the same parts, they're just arranged a bit differently. Our overall shape is reasonably removed from a Tiktaalik, but all the basic building blocks were already there. Consider that birds have five fingers as evidence for the stupifying lack of creativity of evolution.
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  62. #25937
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    9,661
    Location
    St Louis, MO
    Humans share over half of our DNA with bananas, FFS.
  63. #25938
    oskar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    6,712
    Location
    in ur accounts... confiscating ur funz
    Speak for yourself.
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  64. #25939
    Ya but those 50% genes are probably just doing boring maintenance shit, like repairing cell walls and producing sugars. Then add in some animal cells for breathing and circulation and you're up to 90% right there. It's the final 5-10% that are the cool ones.
  65. #25940
    Quote Originally Posted by MadMojoMonkey View Post
    Humans share over half of our DNA with bananas, FFS.
    That explains why over half of my body mass is made up of my dong.
  66. #25941
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    9,661
    Location
    St Louis, MO
    Quote Originally Posted by Poopadoop View Post
    Ya but those 50% genes are probably just doing boring maintenance shit, like repairing cell walls and producing sugars. Then add in some animal cells for breathing and circulation and you're up to 90% right there. It's the final 5-10% that are the cool ones.
    Almost definitely. Also genes that deal with cell structure, nuclei, mitochondria, cell walls, etc. Stuff that's more fundamentally common to life like having cells, tissues, etc. seems likely to me. Stuff that does cell division, and the like.

    Also, I forget how much, but a shockingly high %-age of our DNA is just useless. Evolution and Natural Selection don't necessarily favor a positive change, just a non-negative change. Stuff that gets into a species's DNA that doesn't either help or hurt it gets left alone.
  67. #25942
    MadMojoMonkey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    9,661
    Location
    St Louis, MO
    So, according to one source I did literally nothing to fact check:

    Pineapple on pizza was invented in 1962 by a Greek immigrant living in Canada who was inspired by Chinese cuisine to put a South American food on an Italian dish.

    hashtagMakeRandoThreadRandomAgain
    hashtagspellingouthashtag
  68. #25943
    Heres something random...

    Charlie Chaplin was once in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest and won 3rd place
  69. #25944
    Jack Sawyer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    7,669
    Location
    Jack-high straight flush motherfucker
    My dream... is to fly... over the rainbow... so high...


    Cogito ergo sum

    VHS is like a book? and a book is like a stack of kindles.
    Hey, I'm in a movie!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYdwe3ArFWA
  70. #25945
    I'm 12 minutes in....what's the point of this?
  71. #25946
    Ok, this fruitcake has taken up too much of my time. I'm tapping out 30 minutes in.
  72. #25947
    In case anyone wondered, that jackpot thing on pokerstars just got won, it was $150k and I won $5 due to playing in the last 12 hours, so that's around 15000 people every 12 hours playing it.

    I start playing it when it hits $100k, but I might set $150k as the target now I know where the five bucks line is.

    I probably spent between 2 and 3 dollars worth of coins.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong
  73. #25948
    oskar's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    6,712
    Location
    in ur accounts... confiscating ur funz
    I never do any real talk stuff here, and I was debating whether or not I should post this, but it's something that has come up recently so I want to talk about it. I just want to preface with: if you're having suicidal thoughts, there are suicide hotlines in your area that are on call 24/7 and you having nothing to lose by giving them a call.
    That said: if you use a meat thermometer at a barbecue, you need to fucking end yourself.
    The strengh of a hero is defined by the weakness of his villains.
  74. #25949
    what if it's one of those really rad ones that don't actually puncture the meat? Some kinda infrared laser bullshit can measure the internal temperature of a steak from like 12 feet away.
  75. #25950
    That's obviously fine. You're not doing it because you need to, you're doing it because it's a fucking awesome gadget. And it doesn't hurt to be accurate to 0.1 of a degree.
    Quote Originally Posted by wufwugy View Post
    ongies gonna ong

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •