"so I just got fired from my clown job"

[BankItDrew]

BUFU GOGOGOGOGOGOGO!

Trip report required buddy

[Penneywize]

BUFU GOGOGOGOGOGOGO!

Trip report required buddy

Nao imo!

[kiwiMark]

I laff'd @ buddy

[BooG690]

The female clown and I drive into Glen Island Park, an island north of The Bronx, to do our first party. We unload the car and she drives away to find parking in the parking lot. I am stuck with a large 50 pound black bin full of goodies, a 25 pound cotton candy machine, a cotton candy pan, and a laundry bag with an Elmo costume inside. I leave the cotton candy pan & laundry bag behind and begin to wheel the black bin & carry the cotton candy machine with me as I venture into the park section of the island that was about 200 yards away from where I was standing at the moment.

I begin to walk around the park section. There are families everywhere, barbecuing and staring at Bobo (BuFu) the Clown walking around aimlessly. Finally, I call the mother and am directed to the party under the white tent. I walk there (on the other side of the park) and say hello to the mother. I show her the contract, make her aware that the $362 is due before the party starts, and that she can pay the $75 tip upfront or after the party. I let her know that Bubbles (the female clown) is looking for parking and walk back to get Elmo and the cotton candy pan. Bubbles walks past me with the facepainting bin and bunny rabbit (for the magic show, ldfo) as I walked towards Elmo and the cotton candy pan. I hurry back with the supplies and set-up for the party. I collect the balance along with $80 in tip and hand it (and my phone) to Bubbles to put in her facepainting bin (standard procedure).

We do our introduction and the crowning ceremony for the child (he was crowned the "prince of the party"). Bubbles and I then run to our set-up. She begins to facepaint the kids while I make them balloons. Stephen, the prince of the party, got a dog with a leash. All the rest of the children either got swords or hearts (swords for males; hearts for females). I was doing balloons for about twenty minutes and the line basically died down. I then began doing cotton candy. As usual with park parties, it was a pain in the ass due to the humidity. The cotton candy would stick to the middle of the spinner while particles of super-heated sugar flew at my face. Either way, I got the job done. It was around this time that the sky got really cloudy. I thought nothing of it and figured I'd move everything under the tent if necessary. I started the bubble machine and had the kids jumping all around, etc. After two and a half minutes of the bubbles, I shut the machine off...then the storm rolled in.

This was no ordinary storm. As a matter of fact, it was classified an EF-1 tornado by the National Weather Service. Yes, a tornado hit. Anywho, it started to rain extremely heavily and began to get very windy (I read that it hit about 100 mph). Everything began to fly and everybody (including Bubbles) scurried under the 10 foot by 10 foot white tent. Imagine 70 sweaty Dominicans crammed into this small space. Of course, me caring enough about what I do, I grab the cotton candy machine and rush it under the tent. I then ran back for the bubble machine, radio, and surge protector. About five minutes later, I remember Elmo is an expensive costume and run back to get him. Five minutes after that, I remember that there is a bunny out there in the tornando. I find the bunny, in its upside-down cage, in a puddle of mud. Great. I leave him on the ground under the tent. I find Bubbles in the huge group of people standing on a chair as the ground under the tent has begun to flood. I talk to Bubbles for a bit and she asks me: "What about the bunny?" However, I heard: "What about the money?" My heart sank. I forgot about the money in the facepainting bin, all $440 of it.

I jet back into the storm to find the balloon and facepainting bin facedown in the mud. There are balloons everywhere along with painting supplies. This is where I find my Motorola Droid kissing a puddle of dirt. I become livid. Of course Bubbles ran under the tent empty-handed. Never mind empty-handed, she didn't even snap the bin shut. Way to go Bubbles, way to go. There is no sign of the money, none. I look everywhere for a sheet of folded white paper (the contract) with money inside. I am doing all this, mind you, in an EF-1 tornado. There is no sign of it anywhere. Basically, I'm screwed.

I run back under the tent, tell Bubbles I was unable to find the money, and begin to dry off my phone. It is here where she tells me: "I didn't say the money. I was asking about the bunny!" "Don't worry," I say, "the bunny is on the gro..." Oh shit, I left the bunny on the ground. Remember, the ground that was flooding? I shove my way through 20 or 25 Dominicans and find the bunny and its cage full of water. The bunny was up to its chin in dirty rain water. I tilt the cage to one side and let all the water out. I hand it to Bubbles to take care of, perhaps she can do something right.

The storm begins to calm down after about fifteen to twenty minutes of chaos. Bubbles and I begin our search for the lost money. For one reason or another, Bubbles chooses to walk around in the mud barefoot. As I prayed Bubbles stepped on a broken beer bottle, I looked around the barbecue grill for money. I find the contract, soaking wet and ripped, with no money inside. It is around this time that Bubbles finds a twenty-dollar bill. The barbecue man started bitching and moaning that he lost his GPS in the storm as well. I really wish I made it known to him how little I cared. The kids started a scavenger hunt for our money. I kept thinking to myself: "There is no way we're finding this money."

About ten minutes into the search, I chose to call the office. I tried to explain to the receptionist what had happened. I told her that it would be impossible to do the next party since Bubbles and I were soaking wet. The receptionist had the balls to suggest to "Try to come back here and change. From here, you can go to the next party." I told her, "I'll see what I can do," with no intent of doing any other parties that day. I made her aware of the lost facepainting bin and money. She told me she was going to ask the boss what to do.

I told Bubbles to quit the search and drive the car into the park so we can get the fuck out of there. Bubbles went to get the car, but the police did not let her into the park. Great. I had to walk all the fucking way back with all this soaking wet bullshit. I apologized to the mother and she said she felt really bad for the way things turned out. She apologized about the missing money and said, "I know this show would have been great." I wasn't in the mood to bullshit so I carried the heavy ass cotton candy machine and bin to the car while Bubbles did essentially nothing. We loaded up the car and drove back to the office (after waiting in a shitload of traffic due to downed trees and traffic light outages).

We arrive at the office soaking wet. Of course, the air conditioning has been blasting all day. It was freezing. Anyway, I brought everything upstairs and explained everything to the receptionist. She told me Adolph (our boss) would be back soon. I heard the office door shut shortly after and it was Adolph. He rolled in and asked, "What happened?" He then took back the need for any explanation and said, "Actually, I don't care what happened. I need compensation for the facepainting bin and the lost party or you're fired" (this was said to both Bubbles and I). I looked at him for a good three seconds with a "lolsrsly?" face and said, "Alright." I walked downstairs, walked out the door, and closed the door behind me. That was it.

I have no clue if they called or texted me after that as my phone was fucked. I went home. I was barely mad to be completely honest. I have been wanting to leave this job for a good time now. The only thing that was keeping me there was the $500/weekend I was making. I had one foot out the door and all I needed was a nudge to gtfo; here it was.

Anywho, that's really it. Here I am writing this. I will begin the job search in two weeks (after I get back from Pennsylvania).

tl;dr: A tornado hit the park where my party was located. I lost the cash that the mother handed to me. I was given an ultimatum: either pay the money or get fired. I chose to get fired.

[Ash256]

i enjoyed that story, thanks

gl with job search

[Galapogos]

The parts that made me laugh the most are the parts that are totally serious but are so funny to read for those of use who don't have clown related jobs.

And seriously who names their kid Adolph anymore? You don't see anyone with those funky little moustaches. I know the spelling of the name is different but people mostly hear your name anyway.

[Penneywize]

Pretty epic story man. I think that all things considered, you're a better man for having had the experience.

Play more poker?

[stonyman]

What happened to the bunny?!?!?

[BooG690]

What happened to the bunny?!?!?

Bubbles was holding him and letting the kids pet him as I looked for the money and brought the shit back to the car.

We left him, soaking wet, in the freezing cold office.

He probably died since this company doesn't really take care of their bunnies.

[dranger7070]

"As I prayed Bubbles stepped on a broken beer bottle"

I lol'd

[Micro2Macro]

cool story bro

[Micro2Macro]

seriously

[spoonitnow]

n1

[BankItDrew]

Well, at least you learned something: Never go to a party with Dominicans.

[Stacks]

Damn dawg.. Can you make me a balloon sword?

[speedcake]

+1

I lol'd IRL

[Ragnar4]

Got to be a law against holding someone financially responsible for damaged equipment. I'd go back after Adolphs ass. (This is exactly why businesses have insurance)Also.. great story.

[Luco]

I don't think anyone saw that story coming. Not even a little.

Anywho my unemployed friend, I'll paypal you $5 to make a baloon of said bunny and post a pic of it

[badgers]

Awesome read. lolled irl many times

[BennyLaRue]

Tell me you didn't let Bubbles keep the $20.

Also, pics of Bubbles or ban.

[Hoopy]

Great story, sucks that you got fired but if you hated the job anyway it's probably not so bad.

[WillburForce]

lolage

[D_Fray]

Great story. Bad day!!!!

[Donachello]

major lol. gl with the job search bufu

[wufwugy]

Finally, someone's boss is actually Hitler

Why do I get the feeling that clowns are also furries

No pics is ban-worthy

[speedcake]

pics would take this story/thread to a whole new level. I concur.

[givememyleg]

haha, awesome, seriously fucking awesome.

[StarGrinder]

Pics or gtfo.

[BooG690]

Bubbles with said bunny. Enjoy.

[rong]

haha that sucks dude, cool story though, pics of bubbles please, maybe a bubbles wud hit thread?

[rong]

hahahahah
jesus fuckin christ.

is that you in a wig?

[rong]

Dude, I know it may be hard to admit it, and you may not feel proud, but don't worry, we've all been there, and we need to know. Did you fuck Bubbles?

[Sasquach991]

Ok if I share this story?

This is epic

I would also like to add that you are a brave man for posting any of your clown experience on this forum.

I also can't believe the mother didn't want her money back.

[mbiz]

sometimes in life a mans just gotta carry the cotton candy machine

[badgers]

Dude, I know it may be hard to admit it, and you may not feel proud, but don't worry, we've all been there, and we need to know. Did you fuck Bubbles?

Answers needed itt

[dranger7070]

LOL YES

penis (had to type something in lower case to make it so LOL YES was in caps )

[dranger7070]

I'm like 85-90% sure that the above Bubbles pic is a level.

[XTR1000]

penis

[XTR1000]

thats also a nice story. pretty sure the bish ripped you off and spent it all on partying with adolph

[boost]

I'm not sure whether I should believe this story or not, but whether its true or all made up .. I'm not sure it matters. So fucking awesome.

[TRimming1]

Good read . very funny stuff.

[a500lbgorilla]

I'm not sure whether I should believe this story or not, but whether its true or all made up .. I'm not sure it matters. So fucking awesome.

It's gotta be true.

[donkbee]

I hope you got payment for your last day, especially considering how shitty it was. He has to pay you!

[triumphant cracker]

The parts that made me laugh the most are the parts that are totally serious but are so funny to read for those of use who don't have clown related jobs.

And seriously who names their kid Adolph anymore? You don't see anyone with those funky little moustaches. I know the spelling of the name is different but people mostly hear your name anyway.

michael jordan has one of those little funky mustaches.

[CBAT]

epic thread.

[kfaess]

HAHAHAHA

[flomo]

thats also a nice story. pretty sure the bish ripped you off and spent it all on partying with adolph and stephen

WHEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

[givememyleg]

demand pic of boog in a clown costume

[bikes]

how did i m iss this the first time around.

LOL

[BooG690]

I hate that my boss (GMML) asked me to post a pic. As an employee of FTR, I'm required to do this.

[bigred]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[bigred]

Let the photoshopping begin!

[givememyleg]

oh my god. it's so much better than expected.

[boost]

oh man... shit just got real.

[boost]

When was it most common to contemplate suicide, before, after, or during a gig?

[supa]

Meh, he was wearing the same thing in Vegas.

[BooG690]

Before. Suiting up was the worst. I was pretty upset at my selling of the soul just to make a few bucks.

After wasn't so bad. The money was oddly quite good (given the position) so suicide wasn't contemplated as they handed me bills.

[Carroters]

Meh, he was wearing the same thing in Vegas.

This. He kept going on about table image.

[bikes]

it's like christmas came early

[aka_red]

i think the most shocking thing is that you are not in fact the guy in your avatar.

[JL]

i think the most shocking thing is that you are not in fact the guy in your avatar.

You thought boog was Larry David?

[BennyLaRue]

Don't clowns wear makeup?

Or is that just what the bad man wore so I didn't know who it was?

[flomo]

I hate that my boss (GMML) asked me to post a pic. As an employee of FTR, I'm required to do this.

I fucking hate when the awesomeness is only the first page of my computer.

[supa]

Can't (shouldn't) a mod makes this pic boogs avatar? At least for a little while. I think it's criminal not to.

[rong]

These two actually make a nice couple

[Chelle]

Awwwwweeeee.

This is too cute. Boog you're awesome!

[rpm]

A+ thread.

[BennyLaRue]

I'll assume you do face painting. I'll take a Batman symbol, please.

[BennyLaRue]

[givememyleg]

omg lol

[donkbee]

<3 BennyLaRue

[jyms]

AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA

[gabe]

aryan thanks, this thread could be one of the best ever in the commune

[rong]

This thread led to me googling some clown stuff, and images of the clown from IT appeared on my screen, and man, that shit still kinda freaks me out.

[BooG690]

HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA OMGOMG

The memes are great.

aryan thanks, this thread could be one of the best ever in the commune

I would thank Carl's bump. Glad you guys enjoy it though.