Blonde is clearly hotter to men above the age of twelve. Never trust a woman who chooses a mate with a douchebag beard who clearly doesn't know how to finish a sentence without 'bro', bro

The blonde, OTOH, has chosen a man who clearly doesn't spend his days saying things like 'word' and 'just chill', and has had to overcome problems bigger than waiting in line for a Vin Diesel film.

Granted, I'm the kind of guy who would rather lick a horny toad than listen to a woman below the age of twenty-five speak