Dude, Mine wins. Mine fucking wins:

I'm playing at the local apartment complex tournament. Basically a 20 person sit'n'go. Blinds are 1/2, we start with 20 chips. Wee!

Theres a guy there, Shawn, who claims to be the be-all-end-all of poker. Says he's made thousands online. He says he'll be all-time dealer just to make things faster at our table.

Ok whatever dude.

He starts dealing in the WRONG DIRECTION. For about 6 or 7 orbits the blinds are being posted on the RIGHT of the dealer.

The decks were brand new, so I grabbed the little rule card out of the deck, and sat on it. Someone walked by and said, "hey don't you deal the other way?" he says, "No, of course not. I play this shit lots, I've made thousands. Youre an idiot go away."

At which point I pull out the rule card. Cough loudly to clear my throat and read: "NUMBER THREE: PLAY BEGINS BY THE PLAYER ON THE IMMEDIATE LEFT OF THE DEALER POSTING A SMALL BLIND. THE PLAYER TO THE IMMEDIATE LEFT OF HIM, POST AN AMOUNT DOUBLE THAT, CALLED THE BIG BLIND. PLAY PROCEEDS IN A LEFT TO RIGHT FASHION"

He goes, "err, yeah I guess you're right. I musta been mixed up."

Haha. Tool. He's 100% THAT guy.