Which is it? A system in which no single party has totalitarian-style control, or a system with one party that is in total control?
It depends on your perspective. A bit of both. On the one hand, each country votes in MEPs, coming from all sides of the political spectrum, and on the other they have no actual influence because it's such a fractured coalition. Ultimately, it's the EU, there's only one EU, and there will always exist the EU. It plays the role of the state, except on the scale of a continent... hence, a superstate. The MEPs don't do a fat lot.

We have discussed this already. You compared it to a federal system like the USA. Only, in the USA, you have two clear parties, with two clear economic policies. It doesn't matter who you vote in as an MEP, the EU's economic policy isn't going to change. Minor details might, but the overall direction will not. You're not voting for an ideology, you're voting to decide who gets to vote about their massive regulations. And this is how is gets so regulated. What else are these MEPs going to do if they haven't got stupid shit like the shape of bananas to vote on?

Same question, though - since no single nation has more say than other nations in the EU, isn't that exactly what democracy is?
No. Democracy is putting the power into the hands of the people, not nation states.

Isn't the goal for people to form coalitions and compromise with each other to achieve a majority where a majority can be reached?
Or to form backroom friendships so you have greater influence. The UK doesn't have many friends, people still hate us for being such a successful empire. Between Germany and France, they have a great deal more influence than the UK. But this isn't really the point. The point is, we give power to people who are not under the democratic control of the UK public, which is why this is about sovereignty and democracy. And it's the same reason I support Scottish independence if they want it. And Catalonian. And any other nation. People don't want to be ruled from afar.