There are two muffins sitting in an oven and one of them says to the other
"Geez its getting hot in here"
and the other muffin says
"oh my God, a talking muffin!"

Q: Why didn't the Teddy bear eat his dinner?
A: Because he was stuffed


Q: What is the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds?
A: There are twenty of them.