alright, im kind of in a ranty mood. Basically plans failed and people flopped so im in on my friday night. Whatever. Anyways I was thinking about the way I get things done. Its almost insane the way one day I can sit on my computer for 7 hours (with piss breaks), playing WoW, poker, msn, and other wastes of time. The next night I won't get home until 2 after I get drunk, laid, and fire off a page of mental notes that I want to get done for my next day.

Im still really young, haven't graduated from high school yet, even. However I find myself sometimes worry about who I will be in the future. Am I going to be that guy with potential that never really took advantage, who plays WoW and holds down a shit job. Or will I be the guy who does well in a career, has a healthy social life, and runs goot in poker (jk that wont happen.)

I just hate the way that when I am underachieving I enjoy it, but I am always thinking I can do more. And when im at potential, getting shit done fast, efficiently; getting laid having a great fucking time - i can never keep it up. I find myself the next day on my computer again. Back in a rut.

Its not a question if I can, I think it is more of a question of whats holding me back. Ive got no idea. Which is why I am ranting right now. I think its a big secret that you can only figure out by doing it. Kind of like poker. You can be told something, but it doesnt mean shit until you grind out the hands and realize it for yourself.

Im in a great position right now, too. Next year im heading to university for a commerce degree. Im thinking finance but Im not really sure, and its not really the point. I have always thought of myself as being able to understand things better than most. Im not one of those assholes who think they are the shit, im a pretty humble person, but thats really what I think. Im able to handle pressure. Last week I almost got into an accident that probably would have killed me. Someone ran a red and I was speeding a bit, I saw it coming and it was fucked because you think its one of those shit your pants / white knuckle situations. But it was weird because I was calm about it. Didn't even slam the brakes and tense up. I turned, not swirved, and got in behind the guy as he sped past. It was pretty cool. My friend nearly vomited.

Anyways that was really off topic. Im on like 3 hours sleep. Hopefully that made sense.

Oh yeah, I just read my title. Motivation through action I thought was getting out of my negative routine. I think a good start would be a morning run, instead of ploppin my ass on the computer to check shit. Something to break out of the stagnant routine I can get into. I find myself wondering why I am doing this useless shit.. and nothing happens. I think when I find myself doing that I should just leave my house. go do something. Bus to the mall and shop around. Call up some people. Get the fuck outta here.