ITT us posts are grammar nazi pet peeves

[wufwugy]

I'll begin

"There are less apples in that barrel."

Wrong

"There are fewer apples in that barrel."






You're turn

[badgers]

I could care less about grammar on internet forums.

[a500lbgorilla]

I could of cared less about grammar on internet forums.

[Hawk]

I could not have cared less about grammar on Internet forums.

[a500lbgorilla]

I could not have cared less about grammar on Internet forums.

I can't even read this shit!

[eugmac]

I could of cared less about grammar on internet forums.

every time this variant is used GOD KILLS A BUNNY

[wufwugy]

every time this variant is used GOD KILLS A BUNNY

That's kind have true

[eugmac]

I could care less about grammar on internet forums.

btw the grammar is perfect here, it's just that the logic is fucked, unless we actually mean to say that we in fact care a non-zero amount.

[a500lbgorilla]

btw the grammar is perfect here, it's just that the logic is fucked, unless we actually mean to say that we in fact care a non-zero amount.

Everytime that's explained MORE BUNNIES DIE

[JKDS]

Am i doing it right?

[eugmac]

Everytime that's explained MORE BUNNIES DIE

I'm sorry, I should of known better.

[Hawk]

btw the grammar is perfect here, it's just that the logic is fucked, unless we actually mean to say that we in fact care a non-zero amount.

Or we are just being sarcastic.

and no i dont like bunnies

[Galapogos]

I live din a city tht ahd bunnies evrywher ebut then they passed a law to kill of all themn, now we have none and i wthinkg it;s gay. I would way rather see bunnie than te fkowerrs they eat.

[badgers]

btw the grammar is perfect here, it's just that the logic is fucked, unless we actually mean to say that we in fact care a non-zero amount.

Actually this is the and "of" instead of "have" are the two things that irritate me most on the internet. My writing is by no means perfect, but for some reason these get to me. I don't mind when people write things incorrectly when I know they know what they mean, but for some reason when they make a genuine error due to a lack of understanding it annoys me more.

I am a dickhead like that.

[Hawk]

Hyperbole and a Half: The Alot is Better Than You at Everything

[wufwugy]

alot more dangerous, baby less dangerous haha

[d0zer]

[boost]

please to be explaining this. I would like to get it, but I don't, so now I am bothered.

[kiwiMark]

=/

[BennyLaRue]

please to be explaining this. I would like to get it, but I don't, so now I am bothered.

Srsly?

Let's eat everyone.
Let's eat, everyone.

Two sentences, two very different meanings.

[eugmac]

There are grammar faults in every day spoken English that are totally accepted. One which was pointed out to me by my half-Scottish girlfriend is the contraction "aren't I (the only gay in the village)", which of course means "Am I not (the only gay in the village)". In Scotland some people apparently contract it to "Amn't I (the only gay in the village)", which is grammatically congruent.

[Gobbatino]

please to be explaining this. I would like to get it, but I don't, so now I am bothered.

It's like how these two are different, too.

"Fucking a, dude, that's awesome!"
"Fucking a dude, that's awesome!"

[Warpe]

A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons. 'Why?' asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
'Well, I'm a panda,' he says, at the door. 'Look it up.'
The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. 'Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots, and leaves.'

[boost]

oh, ha, that was obvious. I was fairly drunk last night.

[kiwiMark]

This week's assigned reading: Lynne Truss Rambling On Boring Topics

[BooG690]

You verb well.
Nouns are good.

Edit: Yes, I understand "verb" is not actually a verb.

[kmind]

Interesting thread. Definitely effects how I'll view grammar from now on.

[kiwiMark]

Interesting thread. Definitely effects how I'll view grammar from now on.

quoting a troll post without being trolled imo

[eugmac]

quoting a troll post without being trolled imo

You could of at least let some people be trolled.

[Lukie]

This thread is retarded, I'm going to find something more interesting to read.

[JL]

^^
unproper use of a comma!!

[mxiu]

rediculous thread

[donkbee]

"of" instead of "have"

THIS zomg

[Muzzard]

I'm going to throw myself off of a bridge!

[Hawk]

"off HAVE a bridge"

[Micro2Macro]

fk u elitist grammer cock suckers fk u all u fking nazijews

make this thread nsfw and post some tits otherwise lock cuz its retarded

ps eug do u live in gay distrcit berline?

[eugmac]

fk u elitist grammer cock suckers fk u all u fking nazijews

make this thread nsfw and post some tits otherwise lock cuz its retarded

ps eug do u live in gay distrcit berline?

m2m, stop being such a whiny looser.

[wufwugy]

fk u elitist grammer cock suckers fk u all u fking nazijews

make this thread nsfw and post some tits otherwise lock cuz its retarded

ps eug do u live in gay distrcit berline?

You of some serious problems

[BankItDrew]

wuf's sig makes every thread awesome

[Micro2Macro]

m2m, stop being such a whiny looser.

haha i got it!

[eugmac]

Bump, in order for me to add to the list:

The misuse of the reflexive pronoun "myself", usually used as an incorrect substitute for the the pronoun "me", and sometimes for "I".

Your mother will be accompanied by the driver and myself. NO! (correct: me)
M2M and myself will be starring in this pornographic film! NO! (correct: I)

Correct uses:

I ate the cake all by myself.
I myself object to the misuse of reflexive pronouns.

In both of these examples "myself" was preceded by the pronoun "I".

[CoccoBill]

^Adding to that, I'm ESL, yet the "me and x" vs "x and I" stuff seriously twists my knickers.

Me and your mother will be starring in this pornographic film! NO! (correct: Your mother and I)
This pornographic film featured your mother and I! NO! (correct: me and your mother)

The correct pronoun to be used becomes obvious when you drop the extra person from the sentence:

I will be starring in this pornographic film!
This pornographic film featured me!

HTH. HAND.

[rpm]

Your mother will be accompanied by the driver and myself. NO! (correct: me)

this one sounds fine to me as is

[bikes]

less about the sentence structure more about how you became so friendly with my mother. thems fightin words

[philly and the phanatics]

OK so we all know how the sentence "Wuf's Mother and Me had sex" is incorrect and should be "Wuf's mother and I had sex"

but the thing that really pisses me off is when someone tries to sound smart by using "And I", but they completely misuse it. Like "Come run a train on Big Reds mother with Rilla and I. " should obviously be "Come run a train on Big Red's mother with Rilla and Me."

[OngBonga]

In some parts of North Birmingham, people say "Am you going out tonight?". They should all be shot. The ones who also say "I are, yeah" should be set fire to before being shot.

[mbiz]

Language evolves through misuse so whats the big dealio?

[triumphant cracker]

"Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

[a500lbgorilla]

Language evolves through misuse so whats the big dealio?

This. So long as your word choice doesn't obfuscate your meaning, you're golden.

[givememyleg]

i'm better then you

[baudib]

btw the grammar is perfect here, it's just that the logic is fucked, unless we actually mean to say that we in fact care a non-zero amount.

This is not true, actually. "Could care less" is a colloquialism (it's intended to be ironic) and = "I don't care." No one actually says "could care less" to mean "I care."

People pointing out that "could care less" is incorrect is actually my biggest grammar peeve.

Second would be "is comprised of."

[Penneywize]

This is not true, actually. "Could care less" is a colloquialism (it's intended to be ironic) and = "I don't care."

seems easier to believe that people simply misuse 'couldn't care less' rather than intentionally say 'could care less' and mean so ironically, imo.

tbh I've just never heard anyone claim 'could care less' is intentionally incorrect

[eugmac]

This is not true, actually. "Could care less" is a colloquialism (it's intended to be ironic) and = "I don't care." No one actually says "could care less" to mean "I care."

People pointing out that "could care less" is incorrect is actually my biggest grammar peeve.

Second would be "is comprised of."

First time ever that I've heard a claim that the illogical phrase "could care less" is meant ironically. Source?

[wufwugy]

Pretty sure the idea that "could care less" is meant in irony exists because people make the mistake then when corrected they feel like pretending they knew all along, so they make shit up about how they're being totally ironic and spiffy smart

[Halv]

The correct pronoun to be used becomes obvious when you drop the extra person from the sentence.

Thanks!

[baudib]

The best explanation I've ever read was written by the late N.Y. Times language guru William Safire. Unfortunately, he wrote it for his "On Language" column in the Sunday Times magazine in the early 1990s and it isn't available online. Exact origins are unknown; best guess is that the phrase came into popular use sometime after 1950.

It appears to be only used in America, and at that, it's very regional. The most likely source (IMO) are native Yiddish speakers living in New York sometime after the baby boom, as Yiddish contains several similar, ironic phrases.

Dictionary.com traces it back to 1966.

The inverted form "I could care less" was coined in the US and is found only here, recorded in print by 1966. The question is, something caused the negative to vanish even while the original form of the expression was still very much in vogue and available for comparison - so what was it? There are other American English expressions that have a similar sarcastic inversion of an apparent sense, such as Tell me about it!, which usually means 'Don't tell me about it, because I know all about it already'. The Yiddish 'I should be so lucky!, in which the real sense is often 'I have no hope of being so lucky', has a similar stress pattern with the same sarcastic inversion of meaning as does I could care less.

IIRC, Safire referenced the Yiddish "I should be so lucky," in explaining the meaning.

[a500lbgorilla]

I am now going to use 'could care less' ironically. And the evolution of language shall take one step forward. For which, I couldn't care less.

[baudib]

To clarify, it doesn't bother me if someone says "could care less" or "couldn't care less"; it annoys me when someone says "could care less" and some douchebag corrects them. I realize now that many of the people whom I have argued about this with are British, and they don't use the phrase.

I think if you think of more vulgar but parallel constructions, it becomes more understandable:
"I could give a shit"
"I could give a fuck"

sounds awkward, at least to me, to say, "I couldn't give a fuck."

I found this on alt-usage-english.org:

The idiom "couldn't care less", meaning "doesn't care at all"
(the meaning in full is "cares so little that he couldn't possibly
care less"), originated in Britain around 1940. "Could care less",
which is used with the same meaning, developed in the U.S. around
1960. We get disputes about whether the latter was originally a
mis-hearing of the former; whether it was originally ironic; or
whether it arose from uses where the negative element was separated
from "could" ("None of these writers could care less..."). Henry
Churchyard believes that this sentence by Jane Austen may be
pertinent: "You know nothing and you care less, as people say."
(Mansfield Park (1815), Chapter 29) Meaning-saving elaborations
have also been suggested: "As if I could care less!"; "I could care
less, but I'd have to try"; "If I cared even one iota -- which I
don't --, then I could care less."

[OngBonga]

"I couldn't give a fuck" is a common British phrase. I must use this phrase at least fifteen times a day. Also "I couldn't give a shit", or "I couldn't give two fucking hoots", or "I couldn't give a rat's arse". There's many, many more, you just have to use your imagination.

If someone ever said to me "I could give a rat's arse" I'd think they were weird, before setting fire to them.

[baudib]

ironic

[vqc]

pet peeves:
people who think strunk and white = good writing
people who think there is a rule against split infinitives
people who think it's not ok to start sentences with "and" or "but"

[wufwugy]

vqc, expand on why strunk and white suck please. i read one of their books way back in the day and embedded a bit of it to memory

[baudib]

pet peeves:
people who think strunk and white = good writing
people who think there is a rule against split infinitives
people who think it's not ok to start sentences with "and" or "but"

those are fucking awesome pet peeves!

"is comprised of" annoys although i admit it's overly anal

[eugmac]

I didn't know that "is comprised of" is a contentious phrase.
comprised of