ITT I prove that soccer sucks a cumdump of buttsack

[wufwugy]

[Penneywize]

Where are you getting these units of measurement?!?

[spoonitnow]

lol n1 fuck soccer

[JKDS]

counter arguments go!

[boost]

rebutal:

YouTube - Goalie Skills - Scorpion Kick from Rene Higuita

[Penneywize]

rebutal:

YouTube - Goalie Skills - Scorpion Kick from Rene Higuita

[ ] movement was necessary to make save

[boost]

[ ] movement was necessary to make save

since we are comparing apples and oranges..

YouTube - 2006-2007 NBA Breakaway Dunks

[ ] acrobatics are necessary to score on a breakaway.

[UG]

YouTube - If Basketball Was Like Soccer


edit: watch the whole thing, if not make sure you see how it ends

[rong]

YouTube - adidas Originals - David Beckham and Kevin Garnett "The Hole-in-One"

Shows the skill involved - And does anyone who meets Beckham not like him?

[Ash256]

Lemme take this opportunity to plug a sport that has none of the problems highlighted in the latest football world cup

YouTube - Huge Rugby Hits!!!!!!
YouTube - Rugby World Cup 2007 Best Tries

However, despite its flaws, football wins for pure beauty

[Illfavor]

YouTube - The Worst NBA Flops You Have Ever Seen In Your Life!!!!!

Seems prty std for all modern pro sports.

I used to think I didn't like soccer, then I watched an entire match and was completely exhilarated.

[a500lbgorilla]

YouTube - The Worst NBA Flops You Have Ever Seen In Your Life!!!!!

Seems prty std for all modern pro sports.

I used to think I didn't like soccer, then I watched an entire match and was completely exhilarated.

Go ahead and hunt down an NHL clip of athletes taking dives and flops.

YouTube - Crosby dives then slashes Heatley

That's a dive in Hockey.

edit, lol this is a pretty good one.

YouTube - Sidney "Crybaby" Crosby Tribute

[tom]

2nd gif isn't a flop-- he's running full speed and his back leg gets kneed into the back of his front leg

[wufwugy]

2nd gif isn't a flop-- he's running full speed and his back leg gets kneed into the back of his front leg

It is most definitely a flop. It's been examined in slomo, frame by frame. If I feel like it, I'll find the gif that shows it even more clearly

[Penneywize]

So I googled "Soccer Fucking Sucks" and this is what I came up with:

Why Soccer Sucks: The Antidote To World Cup Idiocy - By Genghis Goldberg - The eXiled

An article from '98, sure, but it still rings true.

A highlight:

"None of us here at the eXile can figure out why the World Cup can’t be played without ties. Soccer people generally talk about the game being too physically stressful to play sudden-death overtimes, which would force players to stay on the field for an indefinite amount of time after regulation. If that’s true, how do professional hockey players manage during the NHL playoffs? It’s just as tough to score in hockey, and physically about ten thousand times tougher to play. The abovementioned Roberto Baggio would probably have to be hospitalized if he were forced to so much as watch one major-league hockey check, much less actually experience one. And yet: there are no ties in playoff hockey."

Heh. Contrast the following video to any of the soccer gifs above, where the players literally act as though they've been shot in the face in reaction to virtually no contact:

YouTube - Matt Cooke Cheapshot on Marc Savard

[sweetlemon69]

It is most definitely a flop. It's been examined in slomo, frame by frame. If I feel like it, I'll find the gif that shows it even more clearly

It's a flop. I saw the game. It was analyzed in TRUE slow mo. Why don't people just go back watching a game where only 2 positions require brains... QB and coach.

[wufwugy]

It's a flop. I saw the game. It was analyzed in TRUE slow mo. Why don't people just go back watching a game where only 2 positions require brains... QB and coach.

you mean handegg?

[stonyman]

2nd gif is purely a contact between both players. You see the dude stutter step after his knee hits the guys foot.

[Hawk]

and another reason for suckage



Also, no evidence should be needed to support the fact that it sucks, because it obviously just sucks.

Now if all soccer was like this, I'd start paying more attention to it:
YouTube - (Bodies Hit the Floor) Elizabeth Lambert vs BYU

[Vinland]

I tried getting into soccer but the fake injuries and dives just piss me off. Those first gifs are tellin tha troof

[BooG690]

I really hope everyone here is consistent with their hate for fake dives and hates basketball.

[Stacks]

[x] Hate soccer
[x] Hate basketball

[Chelle]

[x] Hate soccer
[x] Hate basketball

yes

[Stacks]

yes

Wanna have sex?

[Chelle]

Wanna have sex?

Not really ;/

[jackvance]

Not really ;/

How about now?

[ensign_lee]

[x] Hate soccer
[x] Hate basketball

This.

<3's football
<3's hockey

[WillburForce]

the beauty of football is indeed that it is so easy to play, yet so subtle and skillfull.

You just need a ball of some sort, a bit of ground and you can play.

[Stacks]

the beauty of football is indeed that it is so easy to play, yet so subtle and skillfull.

You just need a ball of some sort, a bit of ground, a few cards, a bunch of pussies, numerous medic teams, and you can play.

.

[WillburForce]

no-one likes the diving and bullshit - but thats just some countries and you have to accept it.

Thing is, in a team you have your fannies like Robben, Ronaldo, and the gifs above. But you also need you hard players. and it becomes a battle of wits. And the diving bastards try and cheat the ref - they'd say this is gameplay, I call it cheating. Whatever - its part of the game.

You want rough, watch MMA or rugby or maybe Ice Hockey. You want skill watch football/soccer.

in the football level I play, if some dived like that, they'd be given a real reason to stay on the floor.

[a500lbgorilla]

oh yes, basketball is dumb as all hell.

[WillburForce]

football is the beautiful game. unlucky for you if don't like it.

[Penneywize]

football is the beautiful game. unlucky for you if don't like it.

[x] don't like it
[ ] feel unlucky

[swiggidy]

You can bet on a draw. You might see lines such as +130 USA, +150 ENG, +250 draw, implying neither team is a 50% outright winner. I am OK with the potential of a sporting event being a tie, but it can't be so likely that you can wager on it happening.

[Penneywize]

You can bet on a draw. You might see lines such as +130 USA, +150 ENG, +250 draw, implying neither team is a 50% outright winner. I am OK with the potential of a sporting event being a tie, but it can't be so likely that you can wager on it happening.

The article I posted above states that around 40%? or so of games end in a tie. Exciting!

[WillburForce]

The article I posted above states that around 40%? or so of games end in a tie. Exciting!

oh no!!! 90 mins of sport and no winner!!!!!!

Try cricket.

[badgers]

oh no!!! 90 mins of sport and no winner!!!!!!

Try cricket.

lols

[sweetlemon69]

1st gif is shit because it's to short. Elbow to the face was there! 2nd is an obv foul, and third is pure bs diving.

[kevster]

ITT I prove that FIFA, football's governing body, is very poor at clamping down on cheating.

Thread title change please.

[givememyleg]

1st gif is shit because it's to short. Elbow to the face was there! 2nd is an obv foul, and third is pure bs diving.

wat

[mbiz]

thou shallt not badmouth test cricket.

[LkySlevinsNo1Fan]

thou shallt not badmouth test cricket.

+1

[jackvance]

Updated footage on the first one

[Jack Sawyer]

Soccer is a beautiful game.


I dislike basketball because of what makes basketball: too many rules.
I dislike baseball because of what makes baseball: snail like pace throughout and sabremetrics.
I dislike cricket because, hey its cricket.
I dislike NFL because of a variety of reasons, chief among which is the gratuitous hits that are so common and could be part of an Uwe Boll movie and the multitude of stupid rules. You could write at least ten bibles with the NFL rulebook.
I can't say anything about the NHL because I'm not familiar with ice sports.
Rugby's cool though.

Soccer is the only game played the world over, and is also the only game which has been kept simple throughout the years because of a lack of rules. There are no breaks, particularly no commercial breaks, no pauses in the action other than halftime to change sides. The NFL is notorious for this crap, as it has been designed with advertising in mind.
As Antoine de Saint-Exupéry once said, "perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." IMO, Soccer is the closest to this. Naturally you will have a few refereeing gaffes throughout, but for instance when Pierluigi Colina was the main man of the referees the kind of shit that went down at this years World Cup was unheard of.

Soccer should not add replays ever, instead better referees should be trained and added and let us the fans keep cursing about missed goals and bogus offside calls. Oh, and the acting (particularly by Gabriel Heinze or El Niño Torres as in Wufwugy's GIF). But that is what it has always been about, why change now?





That said, hate on.

(Interesting though, 2/3 of the examples provided by Wufwugy are from La Furia Roja. Hmmmm)

[jackvance]

Soccer is the only game played the world over, and is also the only game which has been kept simple throughout the years because of a lack of rules. There are no breaks, particularly no commercial breaks, no pauses in the action other than halftime to change sides. The NFL is notorious for this crap, as it has been designed with advertising in mind.

I've heard that that is exactly why football has it so hard to break through in the US, it doesn't lean well to the insane every 5 minutes advertising.

[Galapogos]

I can't say anything about the NHL because I'm not familiar with ice sports.

It's like your beautiful sport had sex with murder and they raised their love child on steroids. Playoff hockey anyway...

[eugmac]

Goal-line replay technology is something that's so easy to put in place though, I mean they already have cameras in the goals! And the players want it... and the fans want it... apart from the weird purists who are afraid of change, everybody seems to think it's a totally sensible thing to implement. It's not like it'd cause a huge delay since controversial goals happen only once in a while, unlike in hockey where it's a relatively common occurrence.

[Illfavor]

What a waste of time to say that one sport requires more skill than the other. People who are the best at what they do all put in a tremendous amount of work to get to that point, whether it's dart throwing or basketball, so all this soccer=beauty, simplicity and skill shit has got to fucking go.

[BankItDrew]

What a waste of time to say that one sport requires more skill than the other. People who are the best at what they do all put in a tremendous amount of work to get to that point, whether it's dart throwing or basketball, so all this soccer=beauty, simplicity and skill shit has got to fucking go.

+1 well said

[WillburForce]

What a waste of time to say that one sport requires more skill than the other. People who are the best at what they do all put in a tremendous amount of work to get to that point, whether it's dart throwing or basketball, so all this soccer=beauty, simplicity and skill shit has got to fucking go.

for real?

Eric Bristow as skillful as Deigo Maradona?

is a pointless arguement - if you don't like a sport then thats the end of it. But I like lots of sport and in mind non are as beautiful as football.

[Ash256]

I think that the skill argument comes down to semantics and that Illfavor is right. Skill does not equal flair. It takes skill to become the best in the world at any competitive field.

It's perfectly valid to feel that football isn't the best sport in the world. But what makes it the greatest is that it requires very little equipment. There's no doubt it has flaws, some quite horrible ones, but it is the only worldwide athletic team sport. So if you want to think that icerink is a better sport, feel free. If want to think that the existence of draws makes football unexciting (lolol), feel free. But realise your arguments will never be anything other than weak hypotheticals in a world that, for once, is too busy having a great time to give a flying fuck about what the Americans have to say.

[pantherhound]

I think that the skill argument comes down to semantics and that Illfavor is right. Skill does not equal flair. It takes skill to become the best in the world at any competitive field.

It's perfectly valid to feel that football isn't the best sport in the world. But what makes it the greatest is that it requires very little equipment. There's no doubt it has flaws, some quite horrible ones, but it is the only worldwide athletic team sport. So if you want to think that icerink is a better sport, feel free. If want to think that the existence of draws makes football unexciting (lolol), feel free. But realise your arguments will never be anything other than weak hypotheticals in a world that, for once, is too busy having a great time to give a flying fuck about what the Americans have to say.

top notch post, this

lol at this ridiculous thread

[Penneywize]

Fuck Soccer.

[a500lbgorilla]

What if we reached a great compromise?

Indoor soccer; 5 on 5 plus keepers like hockey, and all the foot-kicks-ball enjoyment of classic soccer.

I say we all drop our now favorite sports and light a match under this sleeping giant.

[WillburForce]

What if we reached a great compromise?

Indoor soccer; 5 on 5 plus keepers like hockey, and all the foot-kicks-ball enjoyment of classic soccer.

I say we all drop our now favorite sports and light a match under this sleeping giant.

my fav sport to play. 5 a-side football.

[kevster]

What if we reached a great compromise?

Indoor soccer; 5 on 5 plus keepers like hockey, and all the foot-kicks-ball enjoyment of classic soccer.

I say we all drop our now favorite sports and light a match under this sleeping giant.

As an old man, 5-a-side is all I can manage these days so I say hell yeah.

[Ash256]

Sorry rilla, anything other than cheese rolling and I'm vetoing

YouTube - Gloucestershire Cheese Rolling 2009

[a500lbgorilla]

Sorry rilla, anything other than cheese rolling and I'm vetoing

YouTube - Gloucestershire Cheese Rolling 2009

Hmm, this'll be a difficult sell in the Great Plains states.

[BennyLaRue]

I'll give you this...futbol probably has the most athletic referees of any sport, so that's something.

[bigspenda73]

eagerly awaiting gifs of all the flops today

[UG]

what a great sport! in the CHAMPIONSHIP GAME you have one team is trying to win while the other team is trying to tie so they can force a shootout, which basically is a glorified soccer ball kicking contest to see which team is greater

FACEPALM

[kevster]

what a great sport! in the CHAMPIONSHIP GAME you have one team is trying to win while the other team is trying to tie so they can force a shootout, which basically is a glorified soccer ball kicking contest to see which team is greater

This is wrong on at least one count - The dutch hate penalties.

I'm still waiting on a change to the thread title......

[badgers]

[a500lbgorilla]

Quickly, hands up in the air. The refs'll never red card you if you look innocent.

[wufwugy]

I take it all back. Soccer is amazing. I just watched my first fake wrestling match ever, Batista/Lashley, and holy wow what I've known all this time to be true is now confirmed. Fake wrestling is the stupidest thing in the history of existence

[wufwugy]

OTOH, making fun of soccer is still fun

[speedcake]

I just don't get why you feel the need to openly bash something you don't like when no one is holding a gun to your head to force you to watch, much less like it.

If you don't like soccer, cool. Watch something else.

Soccer isn't going away. The game is as strong in the U.S. as it has ever been. Pretty pointless to consistently bash on it as if your actions will magically make it disappear.

I will concede, however, that Ronaldo is a diving idiot.

[wufwugy]

Dude, this thread is mainly just lighthearted ribbing. You can tell I'm not being super serial because I haven't typed up a dissertation on the pros, cons, and aggregate ecology effects of the soccer economy

[speedcake]

hey, I conceded that Ronaldo is a diving idiot.

[kevster]

Dude, this thread is mainly just lighthearted ribbing. You can tell I'm not being super serial because I haven't typed up a dissertation on the pros, cons, and aggregate ecology effects of the soccer economy

Only a matter of time

I thought the Twilight pic was pretty funny.

[wufwugy]

[rpm]

hahahahahaha arghhhahhahahaha man am i glad i'm not that keeper

[Ash256]

hmn i've been looking for a thread in which to dump this

YouTube - Barcelona vs AC Milan 1-1 - Inzaghi's Goal (25-08-10)

[Penneywize]

hmn i've been looking for a thread in which to dump this

YouTube - Barcelona vs AC Milan 1-1 - Inzaghi's Goal (25-08-10)

gay.


try this:

YouTube - Sick goal by Sidney Crosby

your move, soccer.

[Ash256]

lol

smart goal but that was a bit of a tap in, it really doesn't compare with inzaghi's