Piss in one hand and wish in the other. See which one fills up first.

I don't care if you have to hair lip every cow in TX. ( i don't know what that means. I don't think my dad does either)

If you don't ..... your ass is grass and I'm the lawn mower. (pretty sure it was from movie)

Then of course the old excuses are like assholes.

A bunch more. i'm trying to put it all behind me.