Who the fuck buys a girlfriend a teddy bear? I buy teddies for my 3-y/o niece. Last gf I had, for birthday I bought her a vibrator and lots of wine, made her a CD, and made some pasta shit. She was a happy gf. I was happy bf too, I got me dick sucked.

Suppose you want a joke...

What do you do if the dishwasher breaks down? Slap her.