Drunk Thread

[kingnat]

So whenever I get drunk, there's only one thing that'll calm my hunger.



Garlic sesame bread with fried chicken cutlet, bacon, melted American cheese, gravy, and waffle fries (IN THE SANDWICH) ftw!

I'd consider sticking my penis in this and eating it... (not necessarily in that order...)....

[Parasurama]

I already threw up like 4 times tonight omg homecoming rulezzz, we lost to motherfucking howard!!! how the fuckkkk

fuckkkkkkkk

haha i'm such a piece of shit

fuck you all you guys suck

i love everyone whose name starts with "big"

[a500lbgorilla]

like big 'ole rilla?!

[Parasurama]

like big 'ole rilla?!

yeppers

i'm so proud of myself that i found this thread it was like totally not on the first page

[a500lbgorilla]

i love you in spite of your obvious hatred for money

[Parasurama]

haha wtf is a hokie

[BennyLaRue]

i love everyone whose name starts with "big"

Biggaythrobbingcock?

[a500lbgorilla]

Hoki, Hoki, Hoki, Hy.
Techs, Techs, V.P.I.
Sola-Rex, Sola-Rah.
Polytechs - Vir-gin-ia.
Rae, Ri, V.P.I.
Team Team Team

They made us learn it at freshman orientation.

"The HokieBird is an ass-kicking chicken. Actually he's a turkey, but that's not the point. The University would have you believe that "Hokie" is a word made up in 1896 by O. M. Stull in a winning entry in the school's contest for a new cheer. A closer look at the historical record reveals the startling truth that this is a poorly concocted lie created to hide a much larger conspiracy from the student body. University records reveal that in 1896, senior cadet O. M. Stull reported what would be the first of numerous sightings of a giant cartoonish bird in the mountains of southwest Virginia. Stull's commanding officer in the Corps of Cadets dismissed the report as "hokey" (a fashionable term at the turn of the century), and the giant bird soon became known as the HokieBird. Like his friends Bigfoot and the Loch Ness monster, the HokieBird is simultaneously feared and adored by most humans. The sightings all report him to be a bird of great strength, great looks, and great intelligence. He has written extensively on chaos theory, nanotechnology, and the worthlessness of the Designated Hitter rule. He leaps tall buildings in a single bound, benches 405 pounds (77 reps against Akron), and has dated Jennifer Lopez, Sienna Miller, and Jessica Simpson. He has won three Nobel Peace Prizes, two Congressional Medals of Honor, and a partridge in a pear tree. He is part mascot, part super hero, and he will kick your ass."

[sinister1]

Hey !!

how come when i try to find the drunk thread and there was like some thared at the top of teh commune b4 that said where is the drunk thread when I need it and now its gone wtf?

p.s i izs drunk

[OP]

WAT WAT IN THE BUTT! Hammered surfin the intertron, donkin off BI's at PLO HU.

FUCK THAT GAY ASS FUUCKIN GAME! I HATE THAT GODDAMN GAME SO MUCH AND I WANT TO EXPRESS MY HATRED FOR IT IN A THUNDEROUS TONE SO I USED THE CAPS LOCK KEY MOTHERFUCKKERS!

I'm about to go have sex with one of the girls in this picture. Hopefully not the one in the red shirt! YAAAH MEEEEEAAAN

[flomo]

a few okld fashioneds di the job

[OP]

All in all I am pleased with the spelling, punctuation, and over all grammar of my last post

I've come to the conclusion that I'm super human

[wufwugy]

Are real mack would bang the three on the right while the one on the left makes everybody sammiches

[OP]

old picture from my photobucket, dont know who 3/4 of those hoeskies are

I'm destined for one vagina for the rest of my life *sigh*

[wufwugy]

cool story bro

[Sasquach991]

I just made almost 15 BIs in one session.

I'm not as think as you drunk I am.

[yourfather]

Tis I, Tis I. halllo.

[BooG690]

NO htats fucking bulshit. i got fucking stopped by cips iand im peacheufle
.. that fucksng buklkkshiit... im pissed off...

cops pull my cab over like i m ay bom a place cuz im colombian and iranian. i look forumbian so lets harass him.

[XTR1000]

hey kids!

[XTR1000]

btw its so fucking depressing to empty two bottles australim wine in front of yur laptp watching top gear and lesbian pron.

[kiwiMark]

That would depress the shit out of me. Go for New Zealand wine next time, problem solved.

[flomo]

drunk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!

going to takee my pants off

[dev]

Drunk... whilst my roommate, drunk in the other room with some random drunk chick, makes drunken smalltalk and makes drunken out.

[flomo]

HARPIE!!!!!!!!!!

[givememyleg]

FTR lov eyou

[badgers]

girl tilt

fml

[bikes]

girl tilt

fml

did she not liek ur pics wif ur bears?

[kingnat]

weeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!1 most drunks in a whilesz..
i hope u poop faces are geting pooped faced.

[wufwugy]

omgggggggggggggggggggggg

fucking omg cheeks are like omg wtf


srsly like wtf srsly somebody do somnethin funny i want

god if bitches didnt suck so much life would be easy

eeeeeeeeeeeeasy i says. and i never wrong. srsly try to find some time i wrong. cannot happen. stupid bitches being bitches thinkiing theyre all smart and shit and know what they want. they dont know shit

[wufwugy]

on srs note im like wtf life would be so easy if crunked all the time. i mean stupid shit gets to you like crazy you know. you reading this right now thinking stupid shit gets to you like crazy but when you drink it doesn't matter its all k cuz you straight pimping and fuck anybody thinks otherwise cuz it dont mean shit. fuck if i wasnt so self consious id be king of world. you heard it here first. king of world. its just that shit happens and fucks with your mind and shit you feel like something other than what you really are.

i wanna get attacked by a cougar. srsly that shit would rule. i would fuck that shit up. fucking cougar would be like omg dinner and id be like omg fist shoved down ur throat you goddamn animal take it. i fucking love to kill cougar. it fuckin attack me and i fucking turn tables on that scared shit. cougar dont know shit but angry ass hole tearing into him cuz he need excuse to kill shit

[wufwugy]

life is a struggle to be normal

ok man

[givememyleg]

i'm not your man, guy

[Pelion]

i'm not your guy, friend.

[bigred]

I'm not your friend, buddy

[wufwugy]

c'mon guyyyysss

also

thanksgiving dinner + booze + accidentally moving while sleeping = hour of clean up

[OP]

^^You're body is supposed to paralyze certain muscles during sleep to prevent things like that. Alcohol and certain medicine unparalyzes those muscles. To avoid this happening to me I just start drinking when I wake up and slowly stop throughout the day.

[BankItDrew]

c'mon guyyyysss

also

thanksgiving dinner + booze + accidentally moving while sleeping = hour of clean up

omfg dude

I'm still drunk
Poker at the bar last night
pre drinking
3 figure bar tab
puking in parking lot
random drives home from randoms from bar
FR NL online for a few hours one tabling like 72/34/5.2 stats with a $7 profit
Fucking pizza pizza takes my order and didn't deliver so i fried up left overs... was fucking awesome except was way too spicey
morning: Still drunk as previously mentioned
no hangover, just drunk
thirsty
explosive diareah
prolly go back to sleep

I'm never drinking again

[BankItDrew]

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I RECEIVED THIS AT THE FRONT DOOR 2 MINUTES AFTER MY POST ABOVE:


WTFFFFFFFFFFFFF
mmm...

[BooG690]

You know what annoys me? The plural of "leaf" is "leaves," not "leafs." The city of Toronto has a team dedicated to shitty pluralization.

[BankItDrew]

And how many Leaves are blue?

[Penneywize]

And how many Leaves are blue?

The ones that haven't won a championship since '67

[a500lbgorilla]

Pardon me, sir. May I borrow some of your fancy mustard?

[a500lbgorilla]

I will drunk drive for a greasy meal cuz damn im hungry! I have few needs and getting my om nom on is all of them!

[BankItDrew]

malibu mango
scanner darkly
beatles rock band

[wufwugy]

i need a better avatar

i know the cos is the fucking man

and big black ass on skinny waist is unbeatable

but it jsut dont fit

[kiwiMark]

in the naaavy

also mi goreng omfg yesss

[flomo]

the only thing better than day drinikng is morning drinkoing be cause nothinbg comes before morning

it is night jin WW what the fuck am i going to do now

[a500lbgorilla]

ha apparently FTR made it over a month sober!

[Donachello]

wuf nominated for POTY fo sho

[WillburForce]

im so hungover that i can't even have a wank.

[Donachello]

I am going to try and touch type the rest of this post....... (yes I looked at every key while it hit it thus far.)

watching the kentucky game and I am about to fo get some pita pit cause I am hunfry. I think.... Maybe some quiznos but regardless myt ummy needs some nutrients. wtf cornell is pissing me off. !!!
okay i must fo now since I have to pee and dont want a bid wet spot on my pants before bar


wow that wasn't too bad

[flomo]

drunk

[ATOTHEC101]

im so hungover that i can't even have a wank.

The true hangover indicator.

[flomo]

rukm drunk you fuckiers

eat thatt

[flomo]

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I RECEIVED THIS AT THE FRONT DOOR 2 MINUTES AFTER MY POST ABOVE:


WTFFFFFFFFFFFFF
mmm...

fuck that little gay dudee from entouratge looks really drunk

[JL]

shit im hungry what should I eat?

[wufwugy]

your mom

[bikes]

delicious rum is delicious. and wow. awesome. the one night i would liekt to irl at a bar and fuckigng no one wants to go out. awesome.

[b-rabbit]

so drunk. i have a girlfriend. but i want to think about possibly fucking other girls. is that bad? i mean if i get a text back that is inviting should i accept? am i a bad person if i fuck someone else? probably. definitely. i just crave some strange when i'm drunk you know. fuck. monogamy is for penguins

[Galapogos]

present

[Galapogos]

ps dont fuck other girls i gajn et and i'm still a champ. but i wish i fucked them.

[Chelle]

A beer would be good right about now.

[wufwugy]

monogamy is for penguins

It's not even for penguins. They change mates every year

Monogamy is not for humans. It occasionally works, but that occasion is the outlier

[dranger7070]

Ur a towel

[dranger7070]

Can this be FTR is drunk, dranger is stoned thread?

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBBBSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[dranger7070]

Sorry FTR made me wait 20 god damn seconds b4 i posted again so i posted BOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[flomo]

IN

[UG]

so fucking IN yup

no school tomorrow for me, video time for the kids.


flying to Waco, Texas, to see my sister-in-law graduate from the Baylor School of Law. Woooooooot vacations.

Yes, my sister-in-law is hot. Hotter than my wife, no. Taken, yes. But if push came to shove, um yeah.

Fuck you guys.


P.S. We're pregnant!

[BankItDrew]

congrats ug

ps i assume you take all precautions towards your wife reading this shit

[bigred]

woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo me

$17 glasses of wine tonight, f u florida

[Donachello]

woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo me

$17 glasses of wine tonight, f u florida

17!?!?!
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that

In other news I totally crashed two bachelorette dance circles tonight. Good times. Apparently they like dudes who can make fools of themselves to all the pop music.

[kiwiMark]

efficiency that's what I'm paying for...he's already packing the hot chips into the box while the magi machine is not declining my moneys card.....long live willowbank!

[rpm]

im so hungover that i can't even have a wank.

i laughed pretty hard when i read this

[badgers]

did a bankitdrew and pulled a fattie

although this may be beyond fattie

it was a bit like this pic



ok not that bnad

but still

shje was big