As the 'husband' of a woman who works in animal education: If you can't take care of a cat or dog, just don't bother getting a pet.

You can't bond with a fucking lizard like you can a fellow mammal.

You ever met the motherfucking bird that lives downstairs? Birds are good for laying eggs and being eaten but not for living in the room next to the motherfucking computer mmmK?

rite. and fish are lame responsibilities.

Just get a fucking dog and find an off-leash dog park to go to. Fantastic chick magnet. You'll be laid in a week or two unless you go out of your way to fail.