that was quite the existential post. i think you need to ask yourself a few questions. when you say you often feel your time would be spent better elsewhere, what would those other things you would be doing consist of? do you fear maybe being stuck in a situation where you regret how you spent large portions of your life? i cant possibly think its the grind getting to you, considering you might be the most consistant player ive ever seen. i think you need to spend some time figuring out what you want out of your life u