spent a day or so seriously thinking about everything and came to the conclusion that how can i be on a downswing if i cant prove im a winning player??? losing players are on a permanent downswing. To be honest i was pretty pissed with myself for having such a loser attitude and approach to poker. I think i can be a winner in poker and have a lot to prove to myself.
Anyways im totally renewed and really focused on showing what i can do and really crushing these games.
Last 2 days i've been playing really well (and running well) and am up nearly $70. Which is pretty good for 2 days work at $0.02-$0.04 and by far my best return so far. Thats over way less than 1500 hands, which is not bad going.

On a side note, i had a really interesting player on my left yesterday. Basically he called all pre-flop bets, any c-bet, and evaluated his hand on the turn. If he'd made something he was firing and there till the end, if not, he folded. Literally a call with any 2 (he did fold to preflop shoves and things like that tho). He was owning too lol, which was pretty funny.