on another note. I have no clue what i want from poker or my life.
If you can find a hobby that's physical, like mountain biking or dirt bikes (motorcycles) that you enjoy obv it's a great way to spend your time. There are tons of sports that are worthy. Tennis and Ultimate Frisbee are other sports that I love. Sport is also a good way to meet cool people.

Other than sports, the thing I enjoy most is getting out in nature. Hiking and camping (tents/sleeping bags/food/water, no alcohol) is sooo much fun. Nature is awesome. You may not live in an area where it's easy to get away from the fake world. If so, consider it a vacation and plan for it.


maybe i need new friends.
Maybe so. If you're hung-over, it's tough to get out and be productive or have fun. Obv, you need to drink in moderation. I was lucky to have a best friend that was a philosopher as well as a doer.

/advice