tonight, as i was finishing up an impromptu meal by my lonesome at a café, some pathetic-looking dude showed up, stumbling, hunched over, munching on the few remaining crumbs of a bag of tostitos.
he was dirty and looked terrible. after making a half-hearted move towards the cashier, he sat down at a table between two groups of hot girls. it probably says something about my own needs that i have a habit of looking outsiders and misfits directly in the eyes, especially when i sense that nobody else will. when he crossed my face in scanning the room, he mumbled - already sensing the inevitable shutdown, i felt - a halfhearted request for money to buy a coffee. i answered with my standard, hardened line "sorry man". he then slumped into himself in a position that left me uncertain whether he was sleeping, crying, or just taking a pit stop on his way back to the bag of tostitos.
on this particular occasion, looking at this particular guy, it was just too much for me. on my way out, i went and bought a large coffee, gently nudged him on the shoulder and handed it to him. unsurprisingly, he looked surprised, as if he didn't really know what to say.
as i walked out, i turned to get one last look at him. barely clutching the coffee with his right hand, he nodded off. on his way down into slumberland, his stubborn right paw brought the coffee down with it, spilling it all over his nutsack. he sheepishly tried sweeping away the burning black gold before passing out, all in the blink of an eye.
what s most interesting to me is just how helpless it left me feeling.
Reply With Quote