Decision Time - To Quit or Not To Quit

I started out about 2 years ago with a $25 buy in on PokerChamps (still miss it). I did ok at the micro stakes for a while (.05/.10). Withdrew a total of about $200 over a 6 month period and said it was time to bump it up a notch. No more widrawals until $1000, and then just take out $100, until the next goal... $10k, withdraw $1000, etc, etc. Stepping up when I had 16 buy-ins at each level (and back down if I hit 15). I know, 20 is the rule, but I play a pretty tight game (IMHO), 6-top and almost exclusively single table.

I've been on UB now for about 1.5 years, and just hit $1K a couple weeks ago, and then...

Well, lets step it back a couple months...

My personal notes from Jan on

01/20/07 - About 2 months after making adjustments above, BR has grown from $80 to nearly $400. Partially due to a $60 freeroll prize for a 5th at AP (thanks FTR). Killing at the $5 10-seat S&Gs. Must be 75%+ ITM. Cash game doing well too. Seems like there have been way more loose players at UB lately than in the past.

01/28/07 - *** BR hit $400 today, which was my goal to move up to the next stakes (.10/.25 - $25buyIn)
Sat at a .25 table, half asleep from being up too late playing a home game at the neighbors. Played steady for about 20 minutes, was up a couple bucks, got AA, flop came 47Q rainbow, player X bet, I raised, he went all in, I STUPIDLY called. He had trips. No more poker today.
01/29/07 - Worked back up to $399 at the .10 tables. Crazy loose players all over the place, and a few good hands. Tomorrow I try the .10/.25 again.

3/20/07 - Was never able to maintain $400+. AA got cracked again shortly after the time mentioned above. Put me on tilt. Got busted down to $330. Been hovering around $325-$350 for 2 months now. Leak mentioned above playing a major factor. Got to be more patient. Finished ITM in home game Friday (first time in like 6 games) and ITM in one S&G Sat AM. Feeling slightly better about my game. Confidence still a little shakey though

4/30/07 - Worst losing streak ever.
===================================
After making it to $400 for the 5th time, and getting a few huge hands cracked...
...my QQ getting called by 55 all-in and third 5 comes on river.
...my AA getting cracked by KK (even though I had broadway on the turn, he made a boat on the river)
...my set on the flop, getting cracked by a bigger set... ON THE RIVER.
...I make a flush on the turn w two suited cards in hand, the board hits a 4th D on the river giving him a higher flush
But, these are only part of the problem
In general, I am making bad calls to big bets late in the hand (As described above as my biggest leak)
I am expecting too make more than I am and getting impatient. For a long time, I was happy to leave the table with meager winnings and would inevitably hit a few big hands here and there which would always move me in the right direction. Now, I'm trying too hard and overplaying too many hands.
Calm down!!! Tighten Up!!! Relax!!! Back to nickel/dime for a while.

6/26/07 - Still On Tilt!!!
==========================
Hovering around $275 - $325 and can NOT break free.
Bad beats galore. Many which I could have gotten away from, but am feeling so desperate that when I know I'm ahead I am just too ready to go all-in. Leaking like crazy w same exact leak as before.
Also getting a little loose pre-flop. Not sure I can get past it right now though.
Lost $20 today (at .05/.10) on 3 hands... all overpairs and calls to big bets. LEAK!!!

7/28/07 - Down, down, down (written on 10/2 after recovering)
==========================
Down to around $200 ($150 at one point). Decided to go up to .10/.25 and just play. If I loose, I'm done. If I win, then we will see.
Play seemed a little more steady at this level. Also, the increased bets made me play more conservatively. Although, I did make a few stupid pushes. Not sure I'll ever be imune from that.

8/28/07 - Slowly coming back (written on 10/2 after recovering)
===========================
Most days are seeing small increases in BR. Some days have big swings, but mainly due to bad beats.
Enjoying the play a lot more. Even when I break even, it feels good, especially if my cards where cold.

10/2/07 - Coming Back
=====================
Learning how to ride the swings. Not getting too upset when cards are cold, and just playing defensively. When the cards come, you will cash in (most times).
Lots of focus on position and hand "value" now.
Still have trouble dealing with bad beats though. Although I seem to get over it by the next day and come back playing good tight poker.
Hope I'm not jinxing myself by writting this... BR at $430... Plan to move to .25/.50 at $550... fingers crossed...

10/6/07 - Up
============
After losing $30+ with AA yesterday came back today w $25 win at cash game and $75 win in MTT (6seat)
BR now at $515

10/7/07 - Easy Come, Easy Go
============================
Wtf, lets try $.25/$.50 cash game... and a $10 s&g.
Lost $35 in cash game when my 2pr was beat by a better 2pr and my AT was beat by A8 (AA6-*8*-X)
S&G went nowhere. AQ got beat by 66 (A6X-X-X). Came in 5th I think out of 10.
Not really bad play, just major coolers.
I think when I move up a level, I'm too ready to call big bets, assuming that's normal for the higher level.
*** MUST play tighter at the next level up, NOT Looser.*** Remember this!!!! ***

More...

10/9/07 - Trying to adjust
==========================
Yesterday lost another $25 w AA. Grrrrrrr. My bad though, other guy reraised after flop and I pushed all in. He had a set.
MUST plug that leak.
Now at about $450.
Trying to remain confident... on schedule... BR is good
But still have to tighten up some how.

10/22/07 - Running hot
======================
After a couple more coolers (999 beat by KKK, 666 beat by KKK), things turned around. Down to $425 then started coming back.
Playing nice and tight preflop, and catching some good cards. Not many coolers either, thank God.
***Confidence went through the roof after seeing www.mypokerintel.com and seeing that I am playing better than 80% of the people playing there.***
***Amazingly, this seems to have really improved my game... may just be a stretch of good luck though. Trying to keep a level head.***
Got BR up to $580 and decided to give .25/.50 another try today. Up $50 within 1 hour. Next session, up $30.
BR at $666 now. Will try to play same tight game at this level for a while and hopefully no huge setbacks will put me on tilt again.
Same day sitting at a table with 2 hyper-aggressives and lost about $50 over about 2 hours. Just waiting for the hand to trap them, but it never came. No big deal, I feel like I know how to play those guys, but the cards where not on my side. Most importantly, I made NO major mistakes.
Day ended at $617... Have to feel good about that.

10/23/07 - Feeling anxious
==========================
Not sure why, but I'm feeling quite nervous about playing .25/.50 still
Goal: $10/day ... $50/week (couple hours a day at single table)
Step Back: (to .10/.25) at $500 (God forbid)
...maybe playing scared is good... up $68 first session. Patience/Grinding it out. Hit just a couple monsters and cashed in.
Play at .25/.50, with a few exceptions, seems a little easier, more steady, fewer crazies, but just as willing to pay.
Will have to reevaluate this after some more time here.
Maybe a lot of weaker players here enticed by the "Bad Beat Jackpot". $.25/.50 is the lowest level for jackpot tables.
Another good day... up $88... BR = $705

10/24/07 - Just waiting for the bottom to drop out
==================================================
Another decent morning, up $15. Dodged some real bullets. Can't help but wonder how long till I hit a rough spell.
Actually started morning down a little. Playing at a table with a couple calling stations. I think I am realizing I do not play well against them. They call all my pf raises, and I think my game depends on some folds pf and to my c-bets. Went to a "better" table and did much better.
Afternoon, got on an unbelievably easy table. Everyone seemed passive, and called value bets with mediocre cards. Didn't hurt that I was running hot either.
Yet another good day... up $83... BR = $788

Please do not get too comfortable!
Please do not tilt when a bad stretch comes!
The play CAN NOT be that much easier at this level. Just havn't hit any real coolers.

10/25/07 - JACKPOT
==================
Bad Beat Jackpot hit at my level and I won $126.
Good thing, cause I just ran into a pretty good cooler... AsKs (Js Ah 2s) (6h 3c) he pushed $20 in after flop and I called. He had 22. I think I will play this the same every time though.
Currently at about $875. Feeling a little too relaxed, maybe too loose, must be careful.
Play is sooooo steady. Very cold cards for hours, but held my ground, then got just a couple winners and Won back my losses. With bonus, now at $902. What a week!
Still too early to think about next level.
Keep it steady AND TIGHT!
Day ended at $922. Only won $13 at tables, but had 2 major coolers (cost me about $50) and still came back to the possitive.
Keep it up...
DONT GET LOOSE!!!

10/29/07 - Breakthrough weekend - $1000 (Breakdown Day)
=======================================
Starting Monday at $1006
In the zone... Won enough to be comfortable saying...
"I can fold this, I don't need it that bad"
"I can afford to push this to try and buy it" (keep it to a minimum though)
PAPO is the main key though, especially in cash game!
Still way too early to think about next level.
MultiTabling most of the weekend (just 2 tables), which was tough at first, but got easier over time.

Side note - hit $400 on 1/28, decided to play at .25/.50 on 7/28, hit $1000 on 10/28.

Very frustrating day so far. Very cold cards and a couple coolers KQ (QQx)(xx) beat by AQ, jerk playing junk 79 flops a str8 I get top pair, etc, etc... Down $40 or so...OH!!! AND!!! I missed a $127 JP bonus because I was called away from my game, for no good reason. Missed it by 5 minutes or less!

WOW!!! Just got hammered. Had TPTK and guy (same jerk from above) w bottom pair calls a near all-in bet and catches a 3rd 6 on the river. He did have a flush draw too, but it was low...whatever, he caught it. Then I bet big on KK and he had A+garbage and called all the way to the river to catch his A. I think I could have played the hands better though, so it's not all bad luck. Now down to $935 sob sob, sniff sniff.
Well, I knew a bad/losing day had to come soon. Hopefuly this was it. No tilt! Still Tight!
Also, the tables where significantly looser and more aggressive today, so... the level, as a whole, may not be as easy as I thought.
Finished day at $920.
Positive note... up $330 since last Monday. Way way way beyond my $50/week goal.

10/30/07 - Grinding
===================
Started the day still very agrevated about yesterday, mainly about missing that free bonus money, but also about that suckout king.
Caught a couple hands right away that bumped me up $25, which felt good.
Got on a little later and nothing seemed to be working. Grinding, grinding, and more grinding. Win a little, lose a little more, grind some more, back down to $920, keep grinding, getting agrivated, then finally in a period of about 15 minutes, won back $80. *** PAPO!!! ***
Play is definately not as easy as last week. Seems like way more aggressive players are everywhere. And those damn loose callers.
Finished day at $996. Good recovery, but I feel worn out.

10/31/07 - Grrrrr
=================
Started with the usual grind. Caught nut flush and won $40. Weee, back over 1000. 10 minutes later, flopped another big flush (second nuts). A couple bets back and forth and the other guy is all in. He had trips and caught his boat. $50 lost. Now down $10, grrrrrrr. Should be up $90. Gotta love poker. I guess I could have gotten away from this one, but I think I played it right. Maybe, next time wait for the turn to move all in.
Must regroup! Playing like a donkey this afternoon. Calling everything and getting crushed. Mostly when I am calling with an over-pair. Slow down, PAPO, Tighten Up, WFM... $10/day-$50/week... last week was not normal.
Playing lazy and loose for a while and paid for it, down $40. Do not multitable when on tilt, it only makes things worse. Played tight for a while (single table, very slow and deliberate) and won back $20 without any major hands.

11/01/07 - Back to the grind
============================
PC problems most of the day, so only got in a couple hours. One big cooler, second-nut flush, beat by nut flush cost me about $20, but still came out $8 up. Nice tight play. Got into it with donkey calling station and called 3 big bluffs correctly and put him out, very small stacks though. I guess the cards DON'T always hate me in those situations.
BR - $968

11/02/07 - Back to F'n Reality
==============================
Start afternoon at $975
Grinding grinding grinding, down $25
Make a friggin awesome call on a huge bluff, win about $45, up about $20 now to $995.
Running good, playing good, maintaining...catch QQ, raise, get a caller, nothing scarey on flop or turn, he's calling my big bets, especially a huge bet when a J hit the turn, all he had was a K-hi flush "DRAW", and he catches the flush on the river, cost me $40+. Sick, sick, sick...
Just a couple hands later I catch TT, raise, a-hole calls with garbage 67os, and... (345) check-check **10** on turn. I raise blah, blah, blah, board never pairs, down another $20. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!
Again... What a week!!! Just the opposite of last week. Beating after beating. I guess I should feel good about holding pretty steady as bad as the cards have worked against me. VERY few monsters, and sooo many BIG suckouts against me. Got to rolll with it.

11/05/07 - Treading Water
=========================
Just like in game play, I say I'll just tread and keep head above water till something great comes along, that's what the entire week was like last week... Just trying to maintain and minimize my loses. I think I did loosen up a bit though, but not sure if that is the real problem, just lots of bad beats and coolers. Saturday AM started the same. 5 minutes into play, got T7s, limped, flop came (89J) (xx). After turn I'm all-in. Other guy has TQ. Spent the next 2 hours earning it back, but I did earn it back... DESPITE the standard suckouts. I flop a set, get all-in, joker chases open ended str8 draw and catches, another guy catches a flush on the river. etc, etc. Still, finished even and felt good about it. Sunday, got on 3 times and finished up every session. up $90 after about 3 hours of 2-table play. After all that, I'm just slightly up for the week. Now at $1019.
Lately...
I've made some great calls on some big bluffs (don't get too cocky about that one though, very dangerous) and, I've pushed my money in several times where I was ahead. I know I've loosened up a little, but it's hard not too when you can afford it.
Was up $30 to 1050, but thanks to cold cards and a couple loose calls in the afternoon, I lost about $25. Still up $5 for the day, hey, up is up. BR = $1025

11/06/07 - DONK!!!
==================
5 minutes in and I donk $50 away on the worst move ever. I flop TP Queens (no kicker[3]), other guy raises big, I reraise, we get all in, he has KK. He rasied PF too. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo loose... Why, why why. I MUST figure out what made me do that. I MUST!!!
Even after saying over and over, I'm going to play tight and patient today. Yeah right...
Problem: started the day saying "I'm going to WIN some good money today." I seem to do better when playing defensively, saying "How can I minimize my loses." Even though I doubt that this is the most proffitable mindset.
It's official, patience is not here today, I'm on tilt. Just donked away another $50. AA got cracked.
Afternoon: This is not good. Griiiiinding... catching nothing. Going no where. getting very frustrated. Trying to be soooooooo patient. A true test.
Got impatient and tried to buy a hand w pocket 7s, guy called my big check-raise w pocket 10s and I donked another $25 away... Yippie!!! Running into every over aggressive a-hole out there it seems. I get TP, I get check-raised, and I am not getting anything better than TP. GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
More tilt action... went up to a .50/1 table, hoping for a miracle. Scarey. Could not get in a hand. Down another $20. I think I need to reevaluate things. Back to cheaper stakes for a little while.
New record... down $240 in one day. Congratu-f'n-lations.

My Donk state of mind... "It's no big deal if I make a bad move and blow this entire rack, I can just earn it back by playing tight over the next few hours/days/WEEKS. I've done it before right???" It's just bad poker, very very bad.

11/07/07 - Bounce (up then righ back down)
=================
Decent start to a recovery. One key hand, QQ held up to AK all-in after flop. KK held up too for about $20 more, the rest was standard and NO mistakes where made.
Not sure why the guy called my all-in w AK, but it scared the crap out of me. I tried to play like I had a set too. This kind of BS is what makes poker so difficult. These guys are just too willing to lay everything on the line for a coin flip situation.
Horrible afternoon. Catching absolutely NOTHING. And still donking away to big bets on the river w junk 2pr. Feel like I'm not betting hard enough to get ANYONE off a chase. And they are catching.
No cards. Two monsters all afternoon, and everyone folds to my value bets.
Bad...so bad... BR = $760

11/08/07 - TILT! - "Withdraw" the troops
================================================== =======
I thought I was playing so good and patient, so proud of myself for not making any stupid moves even though I was bleeding chips. Down to about $710. But I am totally pissed/depressed.
Decided I was done, I haven't slept well for over a week. If I can't take losing $300, how am I going to handle losing $3000 or even $30000. When I went in to widraw my funds, I played for about another hour 2-3 tables, hitting just a couple hands and getting absolutely NO fucking action (I have 66, 6K8 flop comes over player (big stack) checks, I check, turn comes A, HE FOLDS COLD. WTF?!? I'm in w same guy, I'm BB T4, flop comes T44, I bet 2BB he calls, turn=junk, I bet 4BB, he folds, WTF! All day long this is what I get extremely cold cards, then NO action on the rare occasion I catch anything, Oh except when I had KK, early pos, raised 4BB, and get called, flop=535, no worries right? Wrong, he had A5s and took half my stack. Anyway, down another $50 or so.
OMFG!!! I was at $1025 on Monday, now... $668. Sick, Sick, SICK!!! Seriously, I feel sick to my stomach.

11/09/07 - Withdrew, now what - Decision time.
==============================================
Finally got the ePassporte thing set up, and got my remaining $s out of UB. I may be at, or at lease close to 1BB/100 overall. Yeah, this may be ok, but damn, down 600BB in 2 days??? maybe 1000 hands, if that.
-60BB/100? OUCH!
Contemplating putting $600 on Full Tilt for the bonus and seeing what happens. I have to take a few days off though, at LEAST a few days. Spent a lot of time yesterday thinking about how it might be nice to just quit. And it honestly felt very good to consider it.

Now What?

take some time off from playing and get some perspective. it's only poker.

Just Poker? Hmm. I think you may be right.
Once the BR got to $1000 it seemed kind of real though, as pathetic as that may sound.
These thoughts inevitably start creeping into my head...
poker = $$$
poker = income alternative
poker = early retirement

Mid life crisis? Maybe? I aint no kid.

"Life is good, even when poker is bad".
"Life is good, even when poker is bad".
"Life is good, even when poker is bad".
Yeah, I keep telling myself that over and over.
Still pissed though.
I need time away from the game.

Thanks Warpe

Quit? Yeah Right!!!

Well I think my rant is over, I feel better after just a couple days off. I read a couple operations posted here and it made me feel good to see I'm not the only one that has ever taken a hit... Misery loves company! It's just part of the game right, yeah, so is TILTing in my case.

So I moved $500 to Full Tilt (bonus whore) and I'll treat myself to a couple goodies with the remaining $160.

1. Poker Tracker
I used it (in trial version) a long time ago, but never paid for it, and therefore it lost its usefulness after the first 1K hands.

2. A decent dinner out with the family.
Why not right. I feel like a such a f'n big shot taking the wife and kids out on my poker earnings.

Concerning PT, I could use a quick start up guide on the best uses of the software if anyone would like to point me in that direction.

Thanks,

Two whole days (lol) of solid poker.
Feeling good, playing great, something like 25BB/100, and then...

Full Tilt Poker Game #4185173965: Table Adobe (6 max) - $0.10/$0.25 - No Limit Hold'em - 15:19:44 ET - 2007/11/15
Seat 1: BagOfNickels ($24.65)
Seat 2: Chorap ($31.80)
Seat 3: laminhas2 ($25.70)
Seat 4: Caroussel ($52.60)
Seat 5: NewJannson ($24.70)
Seat 6: cholero25011979 ($14.50)
laminhas2 posts the small blind of $0.10
Caroussel posts the big blind of $0.25
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to BagOfNickels [Qs Qc]
NewJannson raises to $0.75
cholero25011979 folds
BagOfNickels raises to $2
Chorap folds
laminhas2 folds
Caroussel folds
NewJannson has 15 seconds left to act
NewJannson raises to $4
BagOfNickels calls $2
*** FLOP *** [3h Th 4d]
NewJannson bets $5
BagOfNickels raises to $10
NewJannson raises to $20.70, and is all in
BagOfNickels calls $10.65, and is all in
NewJannson shows [Ac Ad]
BagOfNickels shows [Qs Qc]
Uncalled bet of $0.05 returned to NewJannson
*** TURN *** [3h Th 4d] [Ks]
*** RIVER *** [3h Th 4d Ks] [Ah]
NewJannson shows three of a kind, Aces
BagOfNickels shows a pair of Queens
NewJannson wins the pot ($47.20) with three of a kind, Aces
BagOfNickels is sitting out

I could have and possibly should have gotten away from that one.
But this one. I really can't feel bad about it...

Full Tilt Poker Game #4185986612: Table Del Mue (6 max) - $0.10/$0.25 - No Limit Hold'em - 16:47:57 ET - 2007/11/15
Seat 1: learn2turn ($25.45)
Seat 2: Strelok ($4.50)
Seat 3: MidgetB ($32.15)
Seat 4: Verdon ($25)
Seat 6: BagOfNickels ($40.90)
learn2turn posts the small blind of $0.10
Strelok posts the big blind of $0.25
The button is in seat #6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to BagOfNickels [Kh Kd]
MidgetB folds
Verdon raises to $0.85
BagOfNickels has 15 seconds left to act
BagOfNickels raises to $2.50
learn2turn folds
Strelok folds
Verdon has 15 seconds left to act
Verdon raises to $7.85
BagOfNickels has 15 seconds left to act
BagOfNickels raises to $13.20
Verdon raises to $25, and is all in
BagOfNickels calls $11.80
Verdon shows [Ad Ah]
BagOfNickels shows [Kh Kd]
*** FLOP *** [Td 5d 5s]
*** TURN *** [Td 5d 5s] [Ts]
*** RIVER *** [Td 5d 5s Ts] [8c]
Verdon shows two pair, Aces and Tens
BagOfNickels shows two pair, Kings and Tens
Verdon wins the pot ($47.85) with two pair, Aces and Tens

No monsters in my favor over about 500 hands, just these two major pay-offs in the wrong direction.

Originally Posted by BagONickels

Concerning PT, I could use a quick start up guide on the best uses of the software if anyone would like to point me in that direction.

Thanks,

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/sh...Number=4946669