Confessions of a losing poker player

I’ve had a good start to April. Refound my rhythm at 25nl. What is it about moving up that makes you forget how to play for 10k hands? I’ve got a week of uni and then I’m on holidays for two week (uni rocks why the fuck did I ever have a full time job) so I should have alot of time to play. April is gonna be sick.

BR $900

nice work on april so far, and on sorting out your play. Keep it up.
Also, enjoy study! Where/what?

Thanks for the encouragement Daven. I’m studying a useless arts humanities thingamajig. Honestly it’s mostly an excuse not to work full time anymore (pretty sure I was gradually going insane) and meet women.

I’m probably not gonna get to play too many hands this week as I’ve got some stuff due (still leaving everything to the last minute lol). But I’m planning to put in some hands during the break in the following weeks.

I’m playing like an idiot again. Why do I do this to myself? I’m sick as a dog and should be in bed. What would have been a break even stretch turns into yet another 6 BI downswing because I can’t control myself. Is their like a coarse you can take in self discipline or am I pretty much fucked for life?

BR $740

So I’m in a funk. I’m playing like a spastic and basically if I keep going the way I’m going I’m gonna end up back at 10nl stupidly wondering why I can’t make any money in this fucking game. So basically instead of doing what I normally do in this position (it’s become very familiar) I’m going to try and do something about it and utilize my frustration. Honestly I don’t know how to do this but it’s about time I tried/learnt.

Read some strat watch some videos. It’s been ages since I read ISF’s blog stuff and a bunch of other great crap I’ve got bookmarked but have only ever glanced at.

I’m going to play 4 tables of 6 max. Limits the damage i can do and also helps focus also I wanna start playing a little more 6 max as I feel it is more conductive to learning. I will probably switch to full ring when I’m out of this rut and feel like playing shit loads of tables.

Review sessions and post interesting hands. I still suck at doing this which basically means I can’t learn from my mistakes… smart.

I wanna start doing some range and EV calculations. This is gonna be hard because I suck at math (like really suck). I don’t really know where to start but theirs definitely some required reading before I can start.

I feel like a few months ago when I was in this position it was because I was on the wrong path. I tried to play like a machine thinking the more I could mechanize my play the less likely I’d make ridiculous technical errors. I now realize that I make money in this game by observing my opponents tendencies and adjusting to extract maximum value. I’m on the right path (I think) but I’m definitely way behind where I wanna be. In addition I feel I’ve carried over a shitload of bad habits from the old mentality.

Whatever fix this shit and pwn.

BR $650

Haven’t been putting in too many hands lately. I’m trying to focus on quality not quantity. I’m really enjoying 6 max I’m break even for like the last 5k hands but I don’t care I’m just enjoying playing and trying to outplay my opponents. 6 max is extremely good for finding crazy fish to isolate and pwn.

I’ve been rereading ISF’s strat articles (that man is a God) and I just finished the one on equity and fold equity and it’s wtf good. I don’t know how I missed out on it’s awesomeness the first time. I basically feel like I just gained a much clearer image of how this game works and how we can make monies. I really feel like I’m on the cusp of a major breakthrough.

I still haven’t done any EV calcs cuz I’m stupid and lazy. I think of about a dozen questions in any given session but forget them by the end. I think I might keep a pen and paper during my next session to note them. One which I’ve been meaning to do for ages is work out the EV of c beting in 3 bet pots on different flops. I think it’s a good starting point because the ranges are alot narrower and it’s also a situation I’m in a lot. I think I’ll have to search for some articles to get myself started.

BR $650

Wtf I was looking at pokertube to see if the next episode of HSP was up and just found the Aussie million’s cash game HU between Dwan and Antonius… sweet.

I believe that to many of us we have had good and the evils experiences in the Poker

We’ll my break from uni is over and although my plans to pwn April died due to tiltage and stupidity I’m in pretty good sprits. I withdrew $100 and put it on full tilt half to use for ‘Tilt Sessions’ when I’m afraid of the possible damage I could do to my roll (it’s gone already by the way) and half for a subscription to Grinder School. Honestly I’ve never really gained much from the majority of their videos however the lecture style ones seem like exactly what I need (I just wish their were more of them). I don’t mean to knock their product or anything as they obviously produce winning players. If anyone wants to see what imo is the best poker lesson video and bare in mind I don’t have access to card runners or anything they should check out sauce123’s 200nl video which is insanely good and basically gave me this feeling of ‘oh fuck that’s how you do it’.

I’ve played over 20k hands this month which should have been 10k. When I don’t play my ‘a game’ and play tilted or more often unfocused I lose money and don’t learn anything. I’m waiting till the end of the month to post a graph but I’ve basically robbed myself of success for the millionth time. I’m still up for the month so whatever. I’ve gots the uni tomorrow and a bunch of essays which should have been completed over the break are going to be rushed last minute so I won’t be playing much next weak.

Well I’ve had a crappy start to the month. This on top of a retarded April has left me feeling pretty down about myself. I guess it’s to be expected when you suck as much as me but damn it my ego needs appeasing. So I’m going to grind back a couple BI at 10nl for confidence. Looking at HEM their must be something drastically different I’m doing in 10nl to 25nl I just can’t figure out what. So I’m back to full ring. My thinking is that I’m punished less for my tilted retardedness and that although 6 max is more conductive to learning so is getting the hell out of the micros. I can always switch back though and honestly it’s probably just a mood thing.

I while ago an FTR member who I respect a lot offered me some help which I stupidly never took up. My reasoning is that although I suck badly I believe I am capable of beating at least 25nl plugging my own leaks and improving on my own. Obviously this attitude is extremely –EV in poker but self improvement is a skill I DESPERATLY need to cultivate and it’ll be +EV for life hopefully. That being said I figure once I’m ready to tackle 50nl I’m gonna get some serious coaching. Frankly I’m kinda over this crappy blog as all I do is bitch and never improve (or make a legitimate attempt to improve) but I don’t want to leave it half finished. I’ve already failed time wise but whatever I’m not quite done yet. I’ll beat 25nl and on my own steam…. Maybe.

So I haven’t updated in ages mainly because I played a drunken session of 50nl HU that didn’t go to well and basically left myself barely rolled for 25nl again (genius I know). I’ve since taken a break from poker and will continue to do so for the next while. It’s currently mushroom season where I am and so I’m sorta in the middle of this insane hallucinogenic binge that I feel obligated to ride out till the end. It’ll probs last for the rest of the season (winter). I’ve got two weeks left in my fist semester of uni and have a history test tomorrow and four essays due of which I have done one so I really need to get on top of things. Once I’m back I’m gonna pwn.