i´m having similar thoughts these days and had a discussion about this with my dad, too. i´m spending a lot of time with poker, reading books, discussing about certain hands with my friends or here on FTR, playing all night and sleeping half the days, just to enter the next downswing and struggling to break even for ~20k hands.

as things are going right now playing poker is -ev for my life. i´m still doing well in school, but being poker obsessed might cost me 1 or 2 semester, which means i´m giving away ~ 40k EUR/year for graduating later.

Thinking about these things i came to the conclusion, that i am and always was a bad loser, who won´t stop until he kicks ass. blame your ego and go on making money.