Parasurama, that's fast as fuuuu....

so jealous. I think i'm pissed off coz i've been stuck at 5 for two months now and it looks like i've got another one in me. This is, to be honest, embarassing. I think that might be why losses are amplified. It doesn't help that i'm not getting in many hands. I'm playing 3 sometimes 4 tables 2 hours a night.

Yeah, i wish poker was a hobby for me and not the final means to escape my career. That's a lot of pressure. I guess all this builds a picture as to why i can't divorce myself from results. Again, remembering part of it is a feeling of humiliation that i'm this long term 5nl grind bitch. My ego is taking a beating. Or i'm giving it one.

These are some fundamentals. I really don't see it affecting how i play. I play as i should. I get it all in with AA/KK pre flop every time i can bla bla. But it simply DOES affect my enjoyment and my life outside poker i.e. bad moods etc.