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So I signed up with phony information and...
a) I called, and my personal information was updated over the phone.
b) I legally changed my name to James Bond and am planning on picking up my checks at 1600 Pennsylvania Av in Washington, D.C.
c) Had the following conversation with a customer service rep:
Rep: "Okay I talked with security, all we need to do is setup a NEW account with the new, correct information.
Bond: "Great. And all my funds from my original account will be transferred to the new one?" (can you just feel the incoming hilarity?)
Rep: (casually) "Oh no it's been zeroed since ownership of the account cannot be verified."
Bond (still calm and cool, but mostly curious) "So my knowledge of the account's password and ownership of the attached email address doesn't count for anything?"
Rep: "[Long standard-issue reponse memorized during employee training which says nothing and serves to baffle dumber customers into compliance]"
Translation: "Well, instead of keeping you around and taking rakes off of your SNG buy-ins, it would be faster and easier just to take all of your money now."
Bond: ... but why Bodog...? why...
Bond: ... for England, Bodog?
Bodog Rep: No... for me. *lets go of Bonds hand, Bond falls from the cradle and splats on the satellite. Chopper comes, screen fades, credits roll.
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